Why She Doesn't Feel Safe With You — Even When You're Right There

Why She Doesn't Feel Safe With You — Even When You're Right There

Why doesn't she feel safe with you — even when you're right there next to her?

Emotional safety isn't about physical presence. It's about whether your partner's nervous system registers you as a source of calm or a source of threat. In this episode, I sit down with therapist Jessica Da Silva to break down what emotional safety actually looks like in relationships — and why most men are getting it wrong.

We explore the hidden dynamics of the anxious-avoidant relationship trap: why anxious partners who seem selfless are often operating from a place of deep selfishness, why avoidant men suffer in silence while being publicly demonised, and how both attachment styles can actually create a "beautiful balance" when both partners take responsibility for their own emotional regulation.

You'll learn why taking everything personally is a form of control — not care — and how avoidant partners setting boundaries actually creates MORE safety for the anxious partner, not less.

If you've ever been told you're "emotionally unavailable" or feel like you're walking on eggshells trying to make her feel safe, this conversation is for you.

Jessica Da Silva is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, attachment coach, and author who helps people break unhealthy relationship patterns by embracing the mindset and habits of secure attachment. Through her work and signature question, "What Would Secure Me Do?"™, Jessica combines clinical insight with real-life experience, proudly sharing her own journey of moving from fearful-avoidant/anxious attachment toward security. Known for her authenticity and transparency, she's passionate about being honest about the messy, human process of healing and helping others build healthier, more aligned relationships.

Key Topics:


⭐ Emotional Safety

⭐ Attachment Styles

⭐ Anxious vs Avoidant Dynamics

⭐ Relationship Communication

⭐ Emotional Attunement

⭐ Vulnerability & Intimacy

⭐ Self-Regulation & Boundaries

⭐ Conflict Resolution

⭐ Healthy Relationships

⭐ Self-Awareness & Personal Growth

Connect With David - The Authentic Man:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theauthenticman_/

Website: https://www.theauthenticman.net/

For Coaching: hello@theauthenticman.net

Newsletter: https://www.theauthenticman.net/home-subscribe

Connect With Jessica Da Silva:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thejessicadasilva/

Website:https://www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com/

Podcast: Let's Talk Attachments Podcast

RELATE:

👉🏽 Where modern men reclaim depth, direction, and relational leadership. Join Relate: https://relatewaitlist.carrd.co/

____________________

____________________

What To Do Next:

1️⃣ Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theauthenticman_/

2️⃣ Get specialised relationship and dating advice: https://www.theauthenticman.net/home-subscribe

3️⃣ Go bag one of the resources below

____________________

____________________

🧨 RESOURCES 🧨

✅ Modern dating feels impossible? It doesn't have to stay that way. The Men's Dating Accelerator, master the most important skills: https://www.theauthenticman.net/mda-landing-page-direct-update-v2

Check out these FREE resources:

👉🏽 5 mistakes in embodying healthy masculinity: https://mailchi.mp/theauthenticman/masculinity-mistakes-in-dating-giveaway

👉🏽 The Hidden Mistakes Men Make in Dating & Relationships: https://mailchi.mp/faaf98ceedd8/hiddenmistakes

👉🏽 30 Dating App Conversation Starters: https://www.theauthenticman.net/app-openers-landing-page

👉🏽 Why You Keep Pulling Away: https://www.theauthenticman.net/why-you-keep-pulling-away-page

👉🏽 Why you are REALLY fighting - https://mailchi.mp/theauthenticman/why-you-keep-fighting?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=conflict-guide

____________________

Loving the podcast? Leave us a review…

📱Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-authentic-man-podcast-with-david-chambers/id1447910686?action=write-review

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/64n26CAX3FIhJj7aMR2CO6

LIKE. SHARE. SUBSCRIBE.

Give this video a thumbs up if you enjoyed watching 👍

#relationship #dating #masculinity

Denne episoden er hentet fra en åpen RSS-feed og er ikke publisert av Podme. Den kan derfor inneholde annonser.

Episoder(471)

Why She Can't Open Up To You: It's Not Her, It's Your Lack Of Safety

Why She Can't Open Up To You: It's Not Her, It's Your Lack Of Safety

She can't open up to you — and it's not because she's broken. I sat across from a woman who rebuilt trust with her own body after rape, domestic violence and years of chronic pain — and what she taugh...

23 Sep 1h 14min

Avoidant Men Series: I Can't Ask For Help

Avoidant Men Series: I Can't Ask For Help

If you can't ask for help , it's not strength — it's hyper independence  running your avoidant attachment . You go quiet, handle it alone, and she feels shut out. In this episode I break why asking fe...

20 Sep 23min

A Generation Of Boys Grew Up Without Role Models — This Is What It Made Them

A Generation Of Boys Grew Up Without Role Models — This Is What It Made Them

I sat across from a man who was nearly stabbed three times and it changed nothing — because the thing killing him was never outside him. David Patrick Farrell spent his twenties in addiction, debt col...

16 Sep 1h 14min

Avoidant Men Series: 3 Reasons You Have A Sexless Relationship

Avoidant Men Series: 3 Reasons You Have A Sexless Relationship

1️⃣ Work with me by emailing me "99" 👉🏽 hello@theauthenticman.net 2️⃣ The Flatmate Fix - 16th Sept 7.30pm UK time 👉🏾  https://linktwin.co/ysqjwt   If your marriage feels sexless or stuck in a dea...

13 Sep 20min

Why Your Partner Doesn't Trust You (Even Though You've Never Lied)"

Why Your Partner Doesn't Trust You (Even Though You've Never Lied)"

You've never lied to her. You've never cheated. So why does she still not feel safe with you? I sat down with former rabbi turned intimacy coach Ted Riter, and his answer hit hard: honesty is only lev...

9 Sep 1h 6min

Avoidant Men Series: I Can't Express What I Feel — And It's Killing My Relationship

Avoidant Men Series: I Can't Express What I Feel — And It's Killing My Relationship

1️⃣ Work with me by emailing me "99" 👉🏽 hello@theauthenticman.net 2️⃣ How I went from avoidant to secure: From Avoidant Attachment to Intimacy: A Guide for Men 3️⃣ Why you keep pulling away: https:/...

6 Sep 25min

Most Men Blame Their Testosterone — The Real Problem Is Shame, Not Hormones w/ Dr Ben Davis

Most Men Blame Their Testosterone — The Real Problem Is Shame, Not Hormones w/ Dr Ben Davis

Is low testosterone really killing your sex drive — or is something deeper going on? In this episode, I sit down with Ben Davis to unpack the testosterone industry, what the numbers actually mean, and...

2 Sep 1h 3min

Avoidant Men Series: Why Do I Shut Down Emotionally

Avoidant Men Series: Why Do I Shut Down Emotionally

She asks how you feel about something that matters — and your mind goes blank. Completely empty. You've got a hundred things you want to say, and you tell yourself it's fine, you don't need to say any...

30 Aug 18min

Populært innen Fakta

fastlegen
dine-penger-pengeradet
relasjonspodden-med-dora-thorhallsdottir-kjersti-idem
rss-strid
foreldreradet
treningspodden
jakt-og-fiskepodden
rss-orjasater
rss-bisarr-historie
rss-kunsten-a-leve
hverdagspsyken
mikkels-paskenotter
sinnsyn
level-up-med-anniken-binz
branncast
gravid-uke-for-uke
rss-impressions-2
psykt-interessant
smart-forklart
takk-og-lov-med-anine-kierulf