Why I'm Only Just Being Diagnosed: Neurodivergence, Perimenopause and Parenting

If you’re a woman in your 40s or 50s who feels like everything has suddenly become harder - the brain fog, the overwhelm, the burnout, the emotional crashes, the sense that you’re “failing” at things you used to manage - this episode may explain more than you realise.

I’m joined again by Jessie Hewitson to talk about a phenomenon we’re seeing everywhere: women in peri‑ and post‑menopause receiving an ADHD or autism diagnosis for the very first time.

Jessie shares her own story, how supporting her neurodivergent son led her to recognise lifelong patterns in herself, and how the hormonal shifts of perimenopause made previously manageable struggles suddenly impossible to ignore. We talk about why so many women were missed as children, how inattentive ADHD presents completely differently in girls and women, why masking works until it doesn’t, and how executive function collapses under hormonal change.

We also dive into rejection sensitivity dysphoria, people‑pleasing, burnout, the “good girl” conditioning so many women carry, and why the perfect storm of midlife - teenagers, aging parents, senior roles, and hormonal upheaval - pushes long‑standing neurodivergence to the surface.

If you’ve ever wondered why you’re suddenly overwhelmed by tasks you used to juggle, why anxiety has spiked, why your coping strategies have stopped working, or why menopause feels like more than menopause, this conversation will give you clarity, and help you understand what might really be going on.

Highlights from this episode:

01:44 - Neurotypical strategies don’t work!

04:43 - Inattentive versus hyperactive

10:25 - Executive function

16:43 - ADHD and burnout

19:25 - Rejection sensitivity

25:17 - Anxiety of falling short

28:59 - The shame of ADHD

32:51 - Task initiation

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