I Used to Say I Was Magical

I used to tell people I was magical. Somewhere in the last few years, I lost that word.

This episode starts with a twinge I never had a name for — until Queer Eye gave me one — and a meditation practice that's been quietly taking apart a wall I didn't know I'd built. It moves through a youth group memory I can still see clearly: a sermon about Titanic, a poop-in-the-brownies analogy, and the exact moment they filed a beautiful, aching love story under sinful.

From there it goes into alchemy — actual historical alchemy, not the candle-label kind — and the idea that everything starts whole, then splits into pieces, and only becomes something new once the pieces come back together. I talk about Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott, Tantra, and what I think I got wrong even in the middle of recording this: that sexuality was never asking for a room of its own. It was asking to run through all of it.

This one gets into what I do with a recurring frustration I still can't fully name, why "lipstick on a pig" is the most honest phrase I have for how I used to cope, and why I think arousal can be a tool for processing the hard stuff instead of a reward for surviving it.

There isn't a floor plan. There's one room. I've just spent a long time furnishing it like it had walls.

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Episoder(28)

Tantric Revelations: Tantra, Neo-Tantra & Sacred Sexuality

I thought I knew what tantra meant. A partner made a joke about it and I laughed along — and then I actually went and did the reading, and almost none of what I thought turned out to be true.This epis...

19 Sep 34min

Like Hell I'm Going to Hell

I used to admire the people standing on street corners with megaphones, warning strangers to repent before it's too late. I admired their conviction because if I actually believed what they believed, ...

4 Sep 18min

Sex Magic & Manifestation: Pleasure Isn't the Reward

A lover once told me something at exactly the right moment to lodge itself permanently in my brain: at the peak of climax, imagine the thing you want. I filed it away and didn't think about it again f...

28 Aug 55min

What's the Disgust In You Protecting?

I felt disgusted watching a woman touch another woman's breasts on television. That surprised me - I host a podcast about sexual freedom.This episode starts with a documentary called Bang My Box, abou...

7 Aug 35min

The Kinks We're Allowed to Have: Permission, Trauma Myths, and the Real Psychology of BDSM

She said the word dominatrix at dinner. Her friends didn't know what it meant.That conversation is where this episode starts... and it doesn't stop there.This one goes further than most: the myth that...

24 Jul 28min

The Pleasure of Pain

What if pain and pleasure aren't opposites?In this episode of Whisper Lounge, I explore a question that has fascinated me for years: why do some of the most meaningful experiences in life contain both...

21 Jun 28min

Sex Is Everywhere, But We Pretend It Isn't

Sex is treated like it's supposed to be private.And yet somehow it influences friendships, business relationships, marriages, religion, jealousy, attraction, networking, and even who we're allowed to ...

11 Jun 25min