Question Everything: How Japan, the Military, and Kink Shaped Midori | Episode 23

Today in The Sexology Lab, we sit down with Midori—sexologist, educator, author, artist, and one of the pioneering voices in modern kink education. Best known for writing the first English-language instructional book on Japanese rope bondage and for leading Sexual Health Alliance's Kink Informed Certification Program, Midori shares the remarkable story behind the educator so many professionals know today.

From growing up in Japan and immigrating to the United States at 14 without speaking English, to serving in the U.S. Army, discovering San Francisco's underground sex-positive movement, and helping shape modern kink education, Midori explains how questioning cultural norms became the foundation of her life's work. She also explores how attitudes toward sexuality differ between Japan and North America, why the BDSM community developed many of today's consent practices, and what professionals still get wrong when working with kinky clients.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Curiosity—not certainty—has driven Midori's career. Constantly questioning assumptions has allowed her to challenge outdated ideas about sexuality and kink.

• Modern BDSM education wasn't built overnight. Many of today's best practices around consent, negotiation, and safety were developed through decades of community learning and activism.

• Professionals can unintentionally harm kinky clients through bias, assumptions, or lack of education. Becoming kink-informed starts with curiosity, humility, and examining our own blind spots.

SHOW SUMMARY:

00:00 Introducing Kink Pioneer Midori

01:23 Midori’s Origin & Early Background

01:45 Cultural Views on Sex: Japan vs. US

03:43 Questioning Norms & "Coming Out" Kinky

05:15 Contextual Shame in Japanese Culture

07:28 Sensory Sensuality & Eroguro in Japan

10:34 Negotiation & Communication Gaps in Japan

12:54 Bringing Consent & Negotiation to Japan

13:14 Promo: The Sexy Practice Guide

14:13 Common Mistakes Therapists Make with Kink

15:56 Trauma Assumptions & Pathologizing Kink

16:51 Consensual Non-Consent vs. Non-Consensual Kink

18:33 The Spectrum of Non-Consensual Kink

20:20 How Therapists Can Signal Kink-Inclusivity

22:02 Networking & Outing Yourself to Doctors

23:56 How the DSM-5 Shifted Kink Stigma

26:26 Lightning Round with Midori

26:27 BDSM Prevalence & Big Misconceptions

26:40 Overcoming Biases as Sex Professionals

27:43 The Book That Shaped Midori’s View on Desire

28:23 Empathy & Slowing Down for Relationship Safety

28:51 Why Kink-Informed Certification Matters

29:46 The Future of Sex Education & Gatekeeping

RESOURCES MENTIONED THIS EPISODE:

The Sexology Lab is powered by Sexual Health Alliance, a global hub for world-class certifications, cutting-edge education, and a thriving community of professionals. Many of the show's guests also share their expertise at SHA events and educational programs.

Learn more at:

• Sexual Health Alliance: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/

• Midori: https://planetmidori.com/

• Sexual Health Alliance Kink Informed Certification: https://sexualhealthalliance.com/kink-informed-certification-program

• The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/seductive-art-of-japanese-bondage-midori/1004747883

• San Francisco Sex Information (SFSI): https://www.sfsi.org/

• The Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/index.html

• Leather Archives & Museum: https://leatherarchives.org/

• Carol Queen: https://carolqueen.com/

• Annie Sprinkle: https://anniesprinkle.org/

• Patrick Califia: https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/contributor/patrick-califia/

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