How Narcissism Actually Works: Love Bombing, Gaslighting, Flying Monkeys

How Narcissism Actually Works: Love Bombing, Gaslighting, Flying Monkeys

Narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and NPD get thrown around constantly online, and most of what circulates is wrong. In this episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton walks through what narcissistic personality disorder actually is (all nine DSM criteria, and why five or more are required for a diagnosis), the difference between covert and overt narcissism, and the specific behavior patterns that make a relationship abusive: love bombing, gaslighting, trauma bonding, DARVO, flying monkeys, isolation, and intermittent reinforcement. She also covers the gray rock method, the signs you're walking on eggshells in your own home, and how healing from narcissistic abuse actually works. If you've been wondering whether what you experienced counts, or whether the person in your life is a narcissist or simply selfish and hurtful, this one is for you. Timestamps 0:00 Everyone thinks everyone's a narcissist 1:07 What narcissistic personality disorder actually is: five of nine criteria 3:20 Covert vs. overt narcissism 9:22 What narcissistic abuse means 9:48 Love bombing, and how it differs from someone just being kind 13:49 Gaslighting 19:11 No accountability, no apology, no repair 22:19 Monitoring, isolation, and turning you against the people who love you 24:22 Trauma bonding and the abuse cycle 27:25 DARVO 30:45 The gray rock method 34:30 Flying monkeys 36:57 Why they aren't nasty all the time 40:02 Intermittent reinforcement 40:47 Signs you're living in this dynamic 43:50 How healing actually happens 46:27 Reconnecting with the people you lost touch with 49:16 A better question than "what's wrong with me" 53:33 Afraid you'll end up with another narcissist This episode is brought to you by Rebound, offering specialized virtual trauma therapy in all 50 states, founded by survivors and psychologists. Head to https://hellorebound.com/askkatianything to learn more and check your insurance. Using that link is a direct way to support the podcast, so even if you're only curious, take a minute to look. Ask Kati Anything ep. 327 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT MY BOOKS Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY If you're looking for a therapist, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed online professional: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) This is an affiliate link, which means a portion of your signup helps support the podcast at no extra cost to you. PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | nick@biglittlemedia.co Disclaimer The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Episoder(328)

“I ruin every relationship I care about.” - BPD

“I ruin every relationship I care about.” - BPD

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is deeply misunderstood, heavily stigmatized, and far more complex than just "being emotional". In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, licensed marriage and family...

13 Aug 1h 11min

The term "Borderline Personality Disorder"

The term "Borderline Personality Disorder"

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Aug 1min

Taboo Topics & Attachment in Therapy

Taboo Topics & Attachment in Therapy

Navigating attachment dynamics and discussing sensitive, taboo topics in therapy can feel daunting, but understanding how your attachment style influences your mental health is a major step toward hea...

30 Jul 1h 5min

Why Your Eating Disorder Is Never Actually About Food

Why Your Eating Disorder Is Never Actually About Food

In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, licensed therapist Kati Morton breaks down why eating disorders are rarely actually about the food or your body. We look at what’s really happening behind the str...

23 Jul 1h 11min

Are You Too Attached to Your Therapist?

Are You Too Attached to Your Therapist?

Do you think about your therapist between sessions? Check their social media? Spiral when they cancel? A licensed therapist explains why attachment to your therapist happens, why it's actually part of...

16 Jul 56min

Why You’re Exhausted Even When "Nothing" is Wrong

Why You’re Exhausted Even When "Nothing" is Wrong

Do you sleep enough and live a balanced life on paper, yet still feel completely wiped out by Tuesday? You aren't "bad at adulting"—your nervous system is likely dealing with an invisible, compounded ...

7 Jul 52min

Why Your Attempts to Fix Your Relationships Are Making It Worse

Why Your Attempts to Fix Your Relationships Are Making It Worse

Have you ever felt like you’re trying so hard to communicate, but the harder you try, the more things seem to fall apart? Whether it’s that heavy feeling of being misunderstood, the exhausting cycle o...

2 Jul 1h 12min

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