110. The Abandonment Wound, Betrayal, and the Road to Healing

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal Podcast, Marnie welcomes Scott back to the podcast to explore a personal part of recovery: the abandonment wound.

Scott shares how an early fear of being unwanted, not mattering, or not being good enough shaped the way he experienced relationships, fueled perfectionism and external validation, and ultimately complicated his ability to show up for Laura after his betrayal was discovered. While Laura was navigating the pain of betrayal trauma, Scott was confronting an intense fear of being rejected and left, creating a painful cycle of pursuit, anger, distance, and repair.

Together, Marnie and Scott explore why abandonment wounds can become especially complicated after betrayal, how they can distort our perception of a partner's boundaries and behavior, and why healing requires more than therapy, meetings, or simply understanding where the wound came from. Scott shares what helped him develop greater emotional regulation, take responsibility for his behavior, separate his abandonment wound from his relationship with Laura, and begin learning something he had struggled to believe for most of his life: that he matters simply because he is.

This conversation is an honest look at the uncomfortable work of recovery, including accountability, self-awareness, learning to tolerate discomfort, and recognizing when old wounds are driving present-day reactions. Scott also shares what his relationship with Laura looks like today and how developing the ability to care for himself has changed their relationship in profound ways.

Visit Scott’s Website and Learn More about Trident Healing Here.

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