Adult Problems, Childhood Wounds - Lauren Dennelly

Why You Never Got to Be a Kid: Parentification, ACA, and Healing | Rock Bottom with Ryan ft. Lauren DennellyIn this episode of Rock Bottom with Ryan, therapist, professor, and author Lauren Dennelly discusses parentification and how growing up with alcoholism or other dysfunction can force children into adult roles. She shares her emotional recovery date of September 4, 2022, when she found ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) and explains emotional vs. logistical parentification, including how it differs from normal helping when responsibilities are expected, unacknowledged, and enforced with guilt. Lauren describes secrecy, high achievement, disordered eating, and later relationship patterns like over-functioning, people pleasing, control, and difficulty setting boundaries or identifying personal needs. She talks about grieving a lost childhood, learning to play, the “emotional sandwich generation,” coping through substances, tolerating distress, and integrating the past. Lauren also explains how her Psychology Today writing led to her book, Why You Never Got to Be a Kid, and what she hopes readers gain.00:00 Parentification Defined01:18 Show Intro And Sponsor02:12 Meet Lauren Donnelly02:55 ACA Recovery Journey04:08 From Parentified Kid To Therapist06:09 Masking And High Achievement07:24 Career Path And Burnout09:17 College Drinking And Eating Issues10:02 Therapy Seeds And ACA Breakthrough11:45 How Common Parentification Is13:15 What Parentification Looks Like14:14 Helping Vs Being Parentified15:25 Love Parents And Hold Anger16:15 Stop Minimizing Your Trauma17:00 Unintentional Emotional Caretaking17:52 Adult Relationships And Codependence19:38 Boundaries And Asking For Help21:03 Losing Touch With Your Needs21:38 Addicted To Being Needed22:06 Grieving The Childhood You Missed24:03 Kids Tell the Truth24:50 Emotional Sandwich Generation26:06 Caring Without Old Roles27:00 Parentification and Addiction28:28 Writing the Healing Book30:26 Reparenting and Boundaries33:03 Forgiveness and Progress35:53 Feeling Less Alone38:01 Learning to Play Again38:46 Grief and Integration41:03 Excerpt on Self Talk43:24 Where to Find Lauren44:36 Final Message of Hope