Brinkmanship: The Crazy-Making Skills of a Covert Narcissist (Special Throwback Episode)

Brinkmanship: The Crazy-Making Skills of a Covert Narcissist (Special Throwback Episode)

My covert narcissistic husband loved the word "brinkmanship." He bragged about how no one knows what that word means and how great he is at it. This should have set alarm bells off in my head!! But it didn’t. Sure, I thought it was strange. This seemed like an odd word and an odd concept.

Brinkmanship is the art or practice of pushing a dangerous situation or confrontation to the limit of safety, especially to force a desired outcome, the technique or practice of maneuvering a dangerous situation to the limits of tolerance or safety in order to secure the greatest advantage, especially by creating diplomatic crises.

Little did I know, he had been practicing brinkmanship since his childhood.
He would push situations to their breaking point. He would push me and our kids to the brink, edge of a cliff to get the outcome he wanted. Make us as uncomfortable as he possibly could until we gave in. We gave in to make peace and to keep our sanity. And once again he got what he wanted, to feel in charge, to feel superior, to get out of all responsibility.

Take charge of your life back! The narcissist shows their true colors over and over. Let them. That is theirs to own. Don't let this decide who you are. Don't give them that power over you!
You get to choose who you are! You are in control of your life! Not them!

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

  • Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
  • Are you searching for people who get it?
  • Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
  • Are you running in circles in your mind?
  • Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
  • Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism


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Episoder(434)

The Loneliness of Covert Narcissism: Why You Feel Invisible Even When You’re Not Alone

The Loneliness of Covert Narcissism: Why You Feel Invisible Even When You’re Not Alone

If you feel lonely even when you’re not alone, this episode will help you understand why. In The Loneliness of Covert Narcissism: Why You Feel Invisible Even When You’re Not Alone, we explore emotiona...

8 Feb 24min

The Exhaustion of Always Being the One Who Tries With a Covert Narcissist

The Exhaustion of Always Being the One Who Tries With a Covert Narcissist

Today’s episode is about covert narcissism and the deep exhaustion that comes from always being the one who tries in the relationship. If you’re living with or recovering from a covert narcissist, you...

5 Feb 38min

Covert Narcissism and Self-Blame: Why You Always Feel Like You’re the Problem

Covert Narcissism and Self-Blame: Why You Always Feel Like You’re the Problem

Today, we unpack how covert narcissistic dynamics quietly train thoughtful, self-reflective people to carry blame that was never theirs. In this episode, we explore how normal, everyday questions—like...

1 Feb 21min

The Reality of Covert Narcissism Within a 42-Year Marriage

The Reality of Covert Narcissism Within a 42-Year Marriage

What does covert narcissistic abuse look like when it unfolds slowly over decades—without obvious explosions, without outsiders seeing the damage? In this episode, Renee speaks with Shari, who shares ...

29 Jan 25min

Covert Narcissism and Over-Explaining: Why Pausing Brings Relief

Covert Narcissism and Over-Explaining: Why Pausing Brings Relief

Many survivors of covert narcissistic abuse feel calmer the moment they stop explaining themselves. In this episode, we explore why over-explaining becomes a survival response, how hypervigilance and ...

25 Jan 21min

Covert Narcissism in Dating: Jacquie Roar Shares Her Story of Survival and Healing

Covert Narcissism in Dating: Jacquie Roar Shares Her Story of Survival and Healing

Dating someone with covert narcissistic traits rarely feels abusive at first. In fact, it often feels intoxicating—intense attention, deep emotional connection, and a sense of being chosen in a way yo...

22 Jan 38min

Covert Narcissistic Dynamics: Is This Normal Marriage Struggles or More Than That?

Covert Narcissistic Dynamics: Is This Normal Marriage Struggles or More Than That?

This episode explores how to tell the difference between normal marriage struggles and covert narcissistic dynamics. We focus on the subtle patterns that create confusion, self-doubt, and the fear tha...

18 Jan 19min

Covert Narcissism Community Chat: Why I Still Question Myself — Even Now

Covert Narcissism Community Chat: Why I Still Question Myself — Even Now

If you understand covert narcissism intellectually—but still find yourself questioning your memory, your reactions, or your decisions—you’re not alone. In this episode, you’ll hear the very first Cove...

15 Jan 36min

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