Narcissistic Rage and Narcissistic Simmer

Narcissistic Rage and Narcissistic Simmer

What sets off narcissistic anger? Anything and everything!!
Asking them to help in the kitchen, asking them to pickup a few groceries on the way home - how dare I inconvenience them?
Asking them how much gas is in the car - how dare I challenge their expertise in caring for the car?

Chatting about how your day has been, chatting about your kids, telling them about how the kids are doing in school - they can’t be bothered by such mundane aspects of life

Minding my own business, not talking but just being, doing my own hobbies - how dare I not center my attention on them, how dare I put my attention elsewhere?

Asking them to keep the house quiet while the kids are asleep - how dare I tell them how to be in their own home?

Can we leave in 5 minutes for church? (The time we said we were going to leave, asked because he is still sitting on the bed in his pajamas playing on his phone) - “Do you even want me to go? I’m not going if you can’t even appreciate the effort I am putting in”

Running my windshield wipers on regular speed in my car - how dare you waste my hard-earned money by running your windshield wipers more than you should

Anything and everything is a potential catalyst for their narcissistic anger.

You are scrambling trying to figure out all the ways to interact with them that doesn’t set off their anger. But you can’t ever succeed at this. And that anger has two distinct faces that I want to talk about today - narcissistic rage and narcissistic simmer.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

  • Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
  • Are you searching for people who get it?
  • Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
  • Are you running in circles in your mind?
  • Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
  • Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com


Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism


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Episoder(440)

Navigating the Confusion of Covert Narcissism: What Is Actually Wrong in My Marriage?

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If you feel confused, unsettled, or unable to name what’s wrong in your marriage—even though nothing sounds “bad enough”—this episode is for you. Many people living in covertly unhealthy dynamics don’...

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In this episode, Renee Swanson discusses the challenges of navigating holidays with a covert narcissist, emphasizing the emotional toll it takes on family members. She explores the concept of survival...

28 Des 202519min

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In this Christmas-themed episode, Renee Swanson explores the impact of covert narcissism on personal relationships, particularly during the holiday season. Using the metaphor of the Grinch, she discus...

25 Des 202515min

Covert Narcissism in Marriage: The “Try Harder” Myth That Traps You

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Covert narcissism in marriage keeps survivors trapped by the belief that if they just tried harder, the relationship would finally improve.If you’re exhausted from over-functioning, self-blame, and em...

21 Des 202522min

Covert Narcissism Recovery: How You Know Healing Is Happening

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Covert narcissism recovery often shows up quietly—through internal safety, self-trust, and a nervous system that no longer lives on high alert. Many survivors wonder how to tell whether they’re actual...

18 Des 202521min

Covert Narcissism and Trauma: Why You and Your Kids Stop Talking

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Covert narcissism and trauma quietly teach adults and children that silence feels safer than honesty. If you’ve noticed yourself going quiet, choosing your words carefully, or avoiding hard conversati...

14 Des 202528min

The Physical Signs You Didn’t Know Were Trauma Responses, Part 2: How to Calm a Dysregulated Nervous System After Covert Narcissistic Abuse

The Physical Signs You Didn’t Know Were Trauma Responses, Part 2: How to Calm a Dysregulated Nervous System After Covert Narcissistic Abuse

In Part 1, we uncovered the surprising physical symptoms of trauma that often go unnoticed — the jaw tension, the tinnitus, the eye twitching, the constant bracing your body learned to do in order to ...

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