Narcissistic Rage and Narcissistic Simmer

Narcissistic Rage and Narcissistic Simmer

What sets off narcissistic anger? Anything and everything!!
Asking them to help in the kitchen, asking them to pickup a few groceries on the way home - how dare I inconvenience them?
Asking them how much gas is in the car - how dare I challenge their expertise in caring for the car?

Chatting about how your day has been, chatting about your kids, telling them about how the kids are doing in school - they can’t be bothered by such mundane aspects of life

Minding my own business, not talking but just being, doing my own hobbies - how dare I not center my attention on them, how dare I put my attention elsewhere?

Asking them to keep the house quiet while the kids are asleep - how dare I tell them how to be in their own home?

Can we leave in 5 minutes for church? (The time we said we were going to leave, asked because he is still sitting on the bed in his pajamas playing on his phone) - “Do you even want me to go? I’m not going if you can’t even appreciate the effort I am putting in”

Running my windshield wipers on regular speed in my car - how dare you waste my hard-earned money by running your windshield wipers more than you should

Anything and everything is a potential catalyst for their narcissistic anger.

You are scrambling trying to figure out all the ways to interact with them that doesn’t set off their anger. But you can’t ever succeed at this. And that anger has two distinct faces that I want to talk about today - narcissistic rage and narcissistic simmer.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

  • Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
  • Are you searching for people who get it?
  • Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
  • Are you running in circles in your mind?
  • Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
  • Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com


Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism


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Episoder(439)

Parental Alienation Explained: How Covert Narcissists Turn Children Against You

Parental Alienation Explained: How Covert Narcissists Turn Children Against You

What if your greatest fear as a parent has already come true?You can feel it — your child pulling away, repeating phrases that don’t sound like them, looking at you through someone else’s eyes. This i...

6 Nov 202520min

The Hidden Weight of Resentment in Covert Narcissistic Abuse

The Hidden Weight of Resentment in Covert Narcissistic Abuse

Resentment is one of the hardest emotions to face after covert narcissistic abuse—because it shows up long before you even realize what’s happening. You start resenting them for the confusion, then re...

2 Nov 202515min

Beyond Blame: A Message for the Children of Divorce

Beyond Blame: A Message for the Children of Divorce

When a marriage falls apart, the story children see is often only a small part of what truly happened. One parent may look angry or reactive while the other appears calm or composed — but underneath, ...

30 Okt 202520min

When Your Mind Won’t Stop: Escaping the Trap of Catastrophic Thinking After Covert Narcissistic Abuse

When Your Mind Won’t Stop: Escaping the Trap of Catastrophic Thinking After Covert Narcissistic Abuse

If your mind can take one tiny worry and turn it into a full-blown disaster movie, you’re not alone.That’s catastrophic thinking — and it’s one of the most common patterns survivors of covert narcissi...

26 Okt 202523min

But They Had a Rough Childhood”: When Excuses Become Permission Slips for Abuse

But They Had a Rough Childhood”: When Excuses Become Permission Slips for Abuse

We’ve all heard it—“But they had a rough childhood.” “They just don’t know any better.” “You have to feel sorry for them.”Yes, empathy is beautiful. But at some point, we have to ask: how far does thi...

23 Okt 202522min

How to Handle Triangulation: Protecting You and Your Children

How to Handle Triangulation: Protecting You and Your Children

Triangulation doesn’t stop just because you see it. In fact, once you recognize the pattern, the covert narcissist often pushes harder, twisting words, controlling the story, and pulling others into t...

19 Okt 202521min

Covert Narcissism Unmasked: Sarma Melngailis on Manipulation, Awakening, and Resilience

Covert Narcissism Unmasked: Sarma Melngailis on Manipulation, Awakening, and Resilience

In Part 2 of my conversation with Sarma Melngailis, we dive into the turning point—the awakening after covert narcissistic abuse. Sarma shares the moment she began to see the manipulation clearly, how...

16 Okt 202527min

Covert Narcissist Triangulation: How They Control the Narrative and Divide Relationships

Covert Narcissist Triangulation: How They Control the Narrative and Divide Relationships

Triangulation is one of the covert narcissist’s most insidious tools — because it’s quiet, invisible, and devastating.It’s how they control the narrative, twist communication, and turn the people you ...

14 Okt 202516min

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