It’s Impossible to Find Normal with a Covert Narcissist

It’s Impossible to Find Normal with a Covert Narcissist

One of the worst things you can say to a victim of covert narcissistic abuse is “every family has their issues. No one is perfect.”

Just saying this statement now makes my skin crawl. As a victim of covert narcissistic abuse, when a friend would tell me, well every family has their issues, it completely invalidated everything that I was going through. It was like I now had no room to say anything else about what was going on.

I mean what was I going to say, “No they don’t. Everyone else is perfect.”

Or - “Oh really? Tell me what issues you have.” And then try to make light of their situation.

When these words would come out of someone else's mouth, I felt completely unheard. And that no matter what I said from here, I was going to sound desperate and petty, like a constant complainer, never happy.

The message that was communicated to me was that no one was perfect. I wanted to scream, I don't want perfect! That's not what I was after. I did not know the words at the time, but I know them now. I just wanted normal.

Doctor Ramani video referenced in this episode

https://youtu.be/Bj5hVoaiKFw?feature=shared

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

  • Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?
  • Are you searching for people who get it?
  • Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?
  • Are you running in circles in your mind?
  • Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?
  • Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism


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Episoder(439)

Covert Narcissism Community Chat: Why Was It So Hard to Call This Abuse? Part One

Covert Narcissism Community Chat: Why Was It So Hard to Call This Abuse? Part One

Why is it so difficult to recognize covert narcissistic abuse when you’re living inside it? In Part 1 of this community chat, Olivia, Cindy, and Shannon share why they couldn’t call their relationship...

26 Feb 31min

Covert Narcissism and the Nervous System: Why You Feel So Reactive

Covert Narcissism and the Nervous System: Why You Feel So Reactive

If you feel “too emotional,” hypersensitive, or unstable in your relationship, this episode will help you understand what is really happening. Today we are exploring covert narcissism and the nervous ...

22 Feb 22min

Covert Narcissism Q&A: Clarity, Boundaries & Radical Acceptance (Part 2)

Covert Narcissism Q&A: Clarity, Boundaries & Radical Acceptance (Part 2)

In Part 2 of this Q&A pulled directly from the Covert Narcissism Group Facebook page, we continue answering the real, unfiltered questions so many of you are quietly carrying. Why does couples therapy...

19 Feb 33min

Gaslighting Without the Drama: The Subtle Reality

Gaslighting Without the Drama: The Subtle Reality

In this episode, we break down what subtle gaslighting looks like in covert narcissistic relationships and why it’s so hard to recognize. You’ll learn how emotional manipulation can sound calm, reason...

15 Feb 23min

Covert Narcissism Q&A: The Questions You’re Afraid to Ask (Part 1)

Covert Narcissism Q&A: The Questions You’re Afraid to Ask (Part 1)

In this special Q&A episode pulled directly from the Covert Narcissism Group Facebook page, I’m answering some of the most honest — and often unspoken — questions about living with and healing from co...

12 Feb 33min

The Loneliness of Covert Narcissism: Why You Feel Invisible Even When You’re Not Alone

The Loneliness of Covert Narcissism: Why You Feel Invisible Even When You’re Not Alone

If you feel lonely even when you’re not alone, this episode will help you understand why. In The Loneliness of Covert Narcissism: Why You Feel Invisible Even When You’re Not Alone, we explore emotiona...

8 Feb 24min

The Exhaustion of Always Being the One Who Tries With a Covert Narcissist

The Exhaustion of Always Being the One Who Tries With a Covert Narcissist

Today’s episode is about covert narcissism and the deep exhaustion that comes from always being the one who tries in the relationship. If you’re living with or recovering from a covert narcissist, you...

5 Feb 38min

Covert Narcissism and Self-Blame: Why You Always Feel Like You’re the Problem

Covert Narcissism and Self-Blame: Why You Always Feel Like You’re the Problem

Today, we unpack how covert narcissistic dynamics quietly train thoughtful, self-reflective people to carry blame that was never theirs. In this episode, we explore how normal, everyday questions—like...

1 Feb 21min

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