166. Fantasy bonding - is it love or delusion?

166. Fantasy bonding - is it love or delusion?

Sometimes we become more attached to the idea of someone and their potential, than the reality of who they actually are. We begin to project our wants and desires on to them and ignore the red flags, the disappointments, the truth. This is what we call fantasy bonding and it prevents us from seeing someone for who they truly are, causes us to be lead along and invest in the wrong people. In this episode, we break down the psychology of fantasy bonding, including:

  • The origins of fantasy bonding in childhood
  • How a fantasy bond emerges
  • Relationship intensity and attachment
  • Why our fear of loneliness drives us into the wrong relationships
  • The idealisation of our partners
  • What happens when the fantasy fades
  • How to avoid a fantasy bond

Listen now.

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Episoder(401)

392. Why is whimsy so powerful

392. Why is whimsy so powerful

We often dismiss the small, playful things we do to keep life joyful: collecting trinkets, baking for no reason, blowing bubbles, looking for magic. They’re labelled childish, unnecessary, or unseriou...

5 Mar 39min

391. The unconscious vs. conscious mind

391. The unconscious vs. conscious mind

We like to think we’re making conscious choices all day long - but a lot of what drives our reactions, habits, and gut feelings happens outside of awareness. The conscious vs. unconscious mind is a us...

2 Mar 42min

390. The psychology of serial monogamy & relationship hopping

390. The psychology of serial monogamy & relationship hopping

Why do some people seem to move from relationship to relationship with barely any time in between, and why does being single feel almost impossible for them? In this bonus episode, we’re diving into t...

28 Feb 30min

389. How to experience healthy love after toxic love

389. How to experience healthy love after toxic love

After toxic love, healthy love can feel surprisingly hard to recognise because you’ve likely learned to expect chaos, inconsistency, and emotional whiplash. In this episode, we unpack what toxic love ...

26 Feb 55min

388. The psychology of fashion & personal style

388. The psychology of fashion & personal style

Personal style might look like a surface-level thing, but it’s actually one of the most psychologically loaded choices we make every day. What we wear shapes how we’re perceived, how we feel, and some...

23 Feb 49min

387. The truth about narcissism ...

387. The truth about narcissism ...

When did ‘narcissist’ become the go-to explanation for every difficult person - and what do we lose when one word starts covering everything from basic selfishness to genuine psychological harm? In th...

21 Feb 35min

386. 26 lessons I've learnt in 26 years

386. 26 lessons I've learnt in 26 years

It's my 26th birthday, and I'm in a reflective mood. As I pass the halfway point of my 20s (and this podcast), I'm looking back at some of the lessons I've learnt so far and what I hope I learn in the...

19 Feb 48min

385. The best psychology hacks for studying

385. The best psychology hacks for studying

Want to study smarter, not longer? Today, we're finally breaking down my psychology-backed guide to becoming the academic weapon you always dreamed of being. I’m sharing the exact study hacks I used t...

16 Feb 33min

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