016: Ask David — How can I cope with a complainer? How can I help a loved one who is depressed?

016: Ask David — How can I cope with a complainer? How can I help a loved one who is depressed?

How can you help a depressed friend or family member? You may be surprised to discover that the attempt to "help" is rarely effective, and may even make the problem worse. In contrast, the refusal to help is nearly always helpful. But to understand that paradox, you'll have to give a listen to this fascinating edition of "Ask David!"

David and Fabrice also address a related problem nearly all of us confront from time to time: How do you deal with a friend who is a relentless whiner and complainer? When you try to help them or suggest a solution to the problem, they just say, "That won't work" and keep complaining. You end up feeling frustrated and annoyed, because the other person just won't listen! David and Fabrice illustrate a shockingly easy and incredibly effective solution to this problem.

Finally, David discusses some disturbing recent research indicating that the ability of therapists—as well as friends or family members—to know how suicidal someone is, is extremely poor. David and Fabrice explain how to assess how suicidal someone actually is, and what to do if you discover that he or she really is at risk of a suicide attempt.

Episoder(511)

015: The Five Secrets of Effective Communication (Part 2)

015: The Five Secrets of Effective Communication (Part 2)

If used skillfully, the Five Secrets can resolve nearly any relationship conflict and transform hostility, resentment and mistrust into intimacy and warmth, often with amazing speed. And although this...

19 Des 201633min

014: The Five Secrets of Effective Communication (Part 1)

014: The Five Secrets of Effective Communication (Part 1)

Practically all of us have a friend, colleague, client, customer or family member we aren't getting along with very well. Perhaps the difficult person in your life is excessively critical of you, comp...

12 Des 201638min

013: Ask David — Is Anxiety Inevitable?

013: Ask David — Is Anxiety Inevitable?

A fan points out that many of the examples in David's book, When Panic Attacks, are high functioning individuals with lots of education and good jobs. She asks Dr. Burns if depression and anxiety are ...

5 Des 201625min

012: Negative and Positive Distortions (Part 3)

012: Negative and Positive Distortions (Part 3)

Discuss of "Should" Statements, Labeling, and Blame. Dr. Burns brings these distortions to life with a case of a severely depressed woman who felt profoundly guilty and devastated after her brother's ...

28 Nov 201625min

011: Negative and Positive Distortions (Part 2)

011: Negative and Positive Distortions (Part 2)

Three common distortions: Jumping to Conclusions (including Mind-Reading and Fortune-Telling), Magnification and Minimization (also called the Binocular Trick), and Emotional Reasoning.

21 Nov 201632min

010: Negative and Positive Distortions (Part 1)

010: Negative and Positive Distortions (Part 1)

Common thought distortions that trigger negative feelings: All-or-Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralization, Mental Filter, and Discounting the Positive.

18 Nov 201631min

009: Should I Try to Be Happy All the Time? Healthy vs. Unhealthy Emotions

009: Should I Try to Be Happy All the Time? Healthy vs. Unhealthy Emotions

When we're feeling depressed, anxious, or angry, should we accept our feelings or try to change them?

15 Nov 201631min

008: M = Methods (Part 2) — You Can CHANGE the Way You FEEL

008: M = Methods (Part 2) — You Can CHANGE the Way You FEEL

A session with a severely depressed, suicidal, hospitalized woman with rapidly cycling bipolar illness, who'd had 15 years of failed treatment with drugs and psychotherapy.

12 Nov 201633min

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