31: Part 1: The Desire Framework

Good morning. My name's Heather Garbutt and I'm a love and relationship coach.

This morning I'm here to talk to you about rewriting your love story. I'm following the path of my workshop, which is named Desire.

Today we're starting with the letter D, and that is really defining what you want in your love life with your partner and how you want to feel in your yourself.

So let's just close our eyes for a moment and go in deep, take some lovely deep breaths, and as you breathe in, feel that beautiful breath. Make your heart glow, and as you breathe out, feel that glow radiate through your body.

And again, just feel yourself soften. And if there's any points of tension in your body, just pour a bit of that glow to that place and feel the glow, that warm, loving light flow all the way down to your hips and a greater intensity all the way down your legs so you can feel it in the soles of your feet and the tips of your toes. And feel your spine rising out of your pelvis. Strong and sinuous really free moving. And let your shoulder blades drop down your spine and your shoulders drop away from your ears. Your arms full of this beautiful glowing light are all the way to your fingertips and the palms. And feel the top of your scalp. Those little muscles soften as the light reaches them. Feel your brow soften, your eyes soft, your cheeks relaxed. Your tongue loosen your mouth, your jaw soft and your throat opening so that you can really connect your breath and your voice with your heart. And from here we'll look for your true heart's desire.

What are the qualities that you want to have in a relationship?

Let's look first at some of the bedrock ones. Trust, respect, security and safety. True, deep, committed, reciprocal love, equality, kindness. And now let's think about some others which you might like for yourself. Do you want good sexual attraction, emotional intelligence, passion, a feeling of adventure, profound support, feeling of calmness. And a feeling of home in your relationship it could be someone who loves traveling, someone who loves animals. Having the love me feeling like I love my dog. Really feel deeply and let yourself be there for a moment with somebody who is being all of those things with you. When you're ready, open your eyes.

Write down what it was that you really liked. You really want. Take a couple of minutes to do that. The importance of this defining is so that your whole brain and nervous system can begin to live into this so that you stop living from old patterns and old stories. So you start to live into possibility of a new kind of love that's fresh for you, that's not coloured by your past, that brings you joy, brings you calm, brings you comfort and pleasure that feeds your soul, feeds your body, feeds your mind, and above all feeds your heart.


We really start to define these things. It really gets us living there and setting an intention that that is how things are going to be because we are being in that now and our brain starts to live differently, starts to think differently. You'll notice as a sort of tennis match goes on, as you go through this work between your old beliefs and your old patterns and ways of thinking and the new ones, which are much more about possibility and hope, and feeling your own wisdom, your own intuition, and growing your own discernment to see who is right for you.


You'll be able to begin measuring anybody that you meet against these criteria. And if they don't fit you don't entertain dating them at all. You do your work before you even get into a room with them to see who they are and what they want and if it matches your heart's desire.

Do take a minute and share this with us and visit us on our Facebook page. You can connect with me personally on my email, heather@heathergarbutt.com. If you can think of someone who will benefit from listening to this podcast, please do share it with them. If you have any feedback on how I can improve it, please do reach out to me as I'm always keen to learn more.

Thank you so much again for listening, and we'll meet again on the next episode of Revolutionize Your Love Life.