181: Showing weakness, Dominance Hierarchy, Sharing Evopsych, Ego Trap?

181: Showing weakness, Dominance Hierarchy, Sharing Evopsych, Ego Trap?

In this show, we discuss showing weakness as a sexual strategy, then we move to a question about dominance hierarchies vs. competence hierarchy (is there a difference?). Next question is about the mixed perceptions of evolutionary psychology. Finally, Dr. Lisle then takes some time to discuss elements of the ego trap. The questions are as follows: 1. Do you think there are situations where a man showing weakness to a woman can be positive? Can women get away with it easily, or weakness also a signal of sexual interest when it comes to them? 2.Some people seem to be so driven to compete and rise to the top, however their internal audience is constantly asking them, "are you sure you're not being too dominant? Is this step up worth it?", either directly or indirectly in the form of general stress. Emotional stability seems to be a huge component in how this plays out on an individual basis. I'd be curious if you think this competence/dominance inner battle is part of what plays into the pleasure trap. 3.I want to spread the truth of evolutionary psychology but I also don't want to hurt my mating chances by getting labeled a reject. Should I keep my evolutionary thoughts a secret and only explain it in easy to digest chic talk or should I spread these ideas with testicular fortitude? 4.I am wondering about how the ego trap might apply to people who have not been given reason for high expectations. In a sense, whether there is some interaction between the ego trap and the Dunning-Kruger effect of lower-capacity individuals being less likely to recognize their own limitations. Can the "ego trap" exist for those who don't have much outside esteem coming in? Is it a form of deferral of failure?

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Episoder(402)

386: How to Handle Bad Advice Without a Fight

386: How to Handle Bad Advice Without a Fight

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10 Jul 45min

385: It's Not the Men. It's Who You Keep Choosing.

385: It's Not the Men. It's Who You Keep Choosing.

A listener who knows evolutionary psychology well asks Dr. Doug Lisle a painful question. If men seem satisfied once they have food and sex, and never care about her inner life, is she fighting a losi...

26 Jun 1h 12min

384: What Looks Like a Flaw Is Actually a Strategy

384: What Looks Like a Flaw Is Actually a Strategy

Why do some people freeze when they try to speak up in a group, while others jump in without a second thought? Dr. Doug Lisle says it is not shyness or a confidence problem you can train away. It is y...

10 Jun 1h 5min

Why Your Bad Moods Are Never Random

Why Your Bad Moods Are Never Random

A listener noticed their kid gets dissatisfied after too much screen time and asked Dr. Lisle a deeper question: when your mood feels off, is it always worth analyzing, or are some bad moods just rand...

3 Jun 1h 9min

Perfect on Paper, But Not for Me - Mate Value, Attraction, and the Disagreeable Personality

Perfect on Paper, But Not for Me - Mate Value, Attraction, and the Disagreeable Personality

Most people assume mate value is a fixed, rankable number and that attraction follows logically from it. Dr. Lisle says that is the wrong model entirely. Mate value has deep objectivity across a popul...

13 Mai 1h

When the Marriage Is Over, but the Mortgage Isn't

When the Marriage Is Over, but the Mortgage Isn't

Most people think a marriage in trouble can be downgraded into a business arrangement to protect the house. Dr. Lisle says that is the previous investment trap talking, not your judgment. The four wal...

29 Apr 50min

380: You're Not Overreacting About Your Partner (Here's why)

380: You're Not Overreacting About Your Partner (Here's why)

Your partner's habits are driving you crazy and asking nicely isn't working. The common advice is to be more patient, communicate better, or just accept your partner as they are. Dr. Lisle says that's...

15 Apr 1h 7min

379: Why Your Partner Stopped Trying (It's Not What You Think)

379: Why Your Partner Stopped Trying (It's Not What You Think)

Most people assume that whoever cares less in a relationship holds the power. In this episode, Dr. Doug Lisle explains why that framing gets it completely backwards. What people call the "care gap" is...

2 Apr 1h

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