333: Great marriage but romance FADING? How do our traits OVERLAP? Are PSYCH meds EVER worth it?

333: Great marriage but romance FADING? How do our traits OVERLAP? Are PSYCH meds EVER worth it?

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In Today's show, Dr. Lisle discusses the overlap of Big Five traits in normal human behavior and how to understand the conceptual framework rather than getting bogged down in formulaic thinking. Our next question has to do with anti-anxiety medications and whether they are ever worth taking. Then we wrap things with a question about being in a great marriage to a best friend but whose romance is fading.

1. The big five traits overlap way too much! for ex is someone nice because they are agreeable or because they are extremely conscientious and believe it is the right way to behave or are they just intelligent enough to understand that being nice is an advantageous strategy to get people to cooperate with them? any new developments in the field of personality?

2. Are there any situations or personality types where you believe taking anti-anxiety medications would be a good choice? Versus just seeing a good anxiety therapist like Dr. Laura Bruce who most likely isn't covered by their insurance anyway? For example, I am high in neuroticism, also high in conscientiousness.. but also impulsive.. and I'm currently working a high pressure job to pay off a low interest loan. But the job is stressful (I came into it and discovered they were operating at a -160k deficit, I'm being transparent with the board but we are still operating at a big deficit and might need to close within a year or two).. and my friend keeps telling me to get some anti-anxiety meds. In this case, if I *need* to do something like work a stressful job for a year, should anti-anxiety meds still be off the table? Why or why not?

3. What does a position of power with respect to marriage look like. For me the biggest threat to leaving a marriage is loneliness. I'm not a super out going guy and I fear that growing old without her companionship will be very depressing. My wife is my best friend and the few friends I do have are couple friends we both share. My issue is that the sexual romance side of it is fading. We both have decent paying jobs so financially we could comfortably figure it out if we did decide on splitting. I'm also not worried about the one child we have together we are both on the same page that our job is just to give him a good life experience. The main issue is we are best friends and I understand that is partly because our lives are literally interdependent. Separating may server that bond.

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Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use

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Episoder(394)

378: All's Fair in Love, War, AI, and the Marketplace

378: All's Fair in Love, War, AI, and the Marketplace

Q1: I am an artist and I will occasionally use AI for reference material.  But I still sketch the image out onto canvas and then paint it all by hand.  My issue is when other artists create AI artwork...

24 Mar 56min

377: Dr. Lisle ESCAPES Dubai … to talk about Acceptance/Commitment therapy

377: Dr. Lisle ESCAPES Dubai … to talk about Acceptance/Commitment therapy

Q1: Dear Dr. Lisle,  I am curious what your thoughts are on Acceptance and Commitment therapy? I am a psychologist, and I have to use this method at my job, and I have noticed that some of the points ...

11 Mar 1h 17min

376:  He wants the physical, She wants the emotional

376: He wants the physical, She wants the emotional

0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 2:10 A little bit about Bitcoin 2:40 Q1: He wants sex, she wants connection 10:45 Females are defensive until they see love cues 22:25 Suspected key issue 29:15 Cou...

5 Mar 56min

375: Am I Still Hot? The OCD-Like Anxiety of Aging

375: Am I Still Hot? The OCD-Like Anxiety of Aging

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. Dear Dr. Lisle, This question is about coming to terms with aging. I know that being "young" i...

5 Feb 48min

374: Gloat Therapy: What to Do with a Defiant Child

374: Gloat Therapy: What to Do with a Defiant Child

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 01:20 Q1: Single mom asks for advice on dealing with her out of co...

28 Jan 1h

373: I was in a Traumatic Relationship – How to Recover?

373: I was in a Traumatic Relationship – How to Recover?

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 02:07 The Year of Dr. Lisle's Book 3:13 New Personality Trait? T...

20 Jan 1h 6min

372: Love, Lust, Lies & Lost Motivation

372: Love, Lust, Lies & Lost Motivation

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 01:45 Q1: Dating broke, unmotivated men in my 70's 13:40 Q2: Rep...

20 Jan 50min

371: Evo Psych Didn't Ruin Anything, You're Just Focused on the Scary Part

371: Evo Psych Didn't Ruin Anything, You're Just Focused on the Scary Part

0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 02:42 Q1:  Listener struggles with finding meaning and motivation after embracing an evolutionary-psychology worldview that feels deterministic and uncomfortable. 7:03 Th...

11 Des 20251h 7min

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