#27: 5 Reasons You Might Be Attracted to Unavailable People
On Attachment28 Sep 2022

#27: 5 Reasons You Might Be Attracted to Unavailable People

In this week's episode, we're talking 5 reasons why you might be attracted to unavailable people. I'm constantly being asked the question of "Why do I attract unavailable people?" - but my response is always to ask instead "Why are you attracted to unavailable people?". We'll talk about negative core beliefs, family of origin dynamics, difficulty receiving support, saviour complexes, and more.

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Episoder(256)

#232: Why Do I Miss My Ex Now That I’m Dating Someone New? (Ask Steph)

#232: Why Do I Miss My Ex Now That I’m Dating Someone New? (Ask Steph)

In this Ask Steph episode, I’m answering a listener question about why old feelings can resurface when you re-enter the dating world, and what to do when that catches you off guard.In this episode, we...

12 Feb 6min

#231: Why You Can't Love Someone Into Changing

#231: Why You Can't Love Someone Into Changing

In this episode, we explore the belief that if someone truly loved you, they would have changed — and why this story so often keeps people stuck in self-blame, rescuing, and self-abandonment. We look ...

10 Feb 16min

#230: How Do I Know My New Partner Will Be Better Than My Last One? (Ask Steph)

#230: How Do I Know My New Partner Will Be Better Than My Last One? (Ask Steph)

In this Ask Steph episode, I respond to a listener question that will feel very familiar to anyone with anxious attachment: How can I be certain that my new partner will be better for me than my last ...

5 Feb 6min

#229: The Hallmarks of a Secure Relationship

#229: The Hallmarks of a Secure Relationship

A secure relationship isn’t one where nothing ever goes wrong — it’s one where the foundation is strong enough to hold the hard stuff. For many people (especially those with anxious attachment), insec...

3 Feb 19min

#228: When You Want More Words of Affirmation — But Don’t Want to Ask (Ask Steph)

#228: When You Want More Words of Affirmation — But Don’t Want to Ask (Ask Steph)

In this Ask Steph episode, I respond to a listener question about wanting more words of affirmation from a partner — but not wanting to feel like you're constantly asking for it. This is a really comm...

29 Jan 7min

#227: The Most Common Forms of Self-Sabotage After a Break-Up

#227: The Most Common Forms of Self-Sabotage After a Break-Up

Break-ups are painful — but often, the way we try to cope with that pain can quietly keep us stuck in it for much longer than necessary.In this episode of On Attachment, I walk through five of the mos...

27 Jan 19min

#226: “If They Wanted To, They Would” (Ask Steph)

#226: “If They Wanted To, They Would” (Ask Steph)

In this Ask Steph episode, I share my perspective on the phrase “if they wanted to, they would” — and why it’s sometimes helpful, but often oversimplified.I talk about the difference between basic eff...

22 Jan 6min

#225: How to Know Whether to Keep Trying or Walk Away from a Relationship

#225: How to Know Whether to Keep Trying or Walk Away from a Relationship

Few decisions feel as emotionally loaded as deciding whether to keep trying in a relationship or to walk away. There is no universal right answer — and for many people, especially those with anxious a...

20 Jan 19min

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