One Man's Impossible Quest — To Make Friends in Adulthood

One Man's Impossible Quest — To Make Friends in Adulthood

Several years ago, there was a tweet that went viral which said that of Jesus' many miracles, perhaps his greatest, was having 12 close friends in his 30s.

As people say, it's funny, because it's true.

When my guest today came face-to-face with the anemic state of his own friendships, he set out to try to do the miraculous himself, and make friends in middle-age. His name is Billy Baker and he's a journalist and the author of We Need to Hang Out: A Memoir of Making Friends. Billy and I begin our conversation with the problem of male loneliness in the modern age, and how it befell him in his own life. We then discuss how men and women do friendships differently, the way men do theirs shoulder to shoulder, what this means for what male friendships need to be built around, and why they require what he calls “velvet hooks.” Billy shares how he started his project, which experimented with different ways to recover and create connections, by rekindling his old friendships, but why that ultimately didn't scratch the friendship itch for him. Billy then describes what did: a kind of casual fraternity for middle-aged men he started, and how it was inspired by something called the "men’s shed" movement in Australia and its philosophy that men need "somewhere to go, something to do, and someone to talk to." We end our conversation with Billy's takeaways for making friends in adulthood, including the need for embracing intentionality and social risk.

Get the show notes at aom.is/makefriends.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Episoder(1158)

Books, Routines, and Habits: The Founders’ Guide to Self-Improvement

Books, Routines, and Habits: The Founders’ Guide to Self-Improvement

Note: This is a rebroadcast.A lot of self-improvement advice and content feels empty. And there’s a reason for that. It often offers routines and habits to practice, but doesn’t offer a strong, overar...

1 Jul 202545min

Ancient Buddhist Principles for Modern Life’s Dilemmas

Ancient Buddhist Principles for Modern Life’s Dilemmas

When you’re feeling stressed, burnt out, and anxious — when you’re striving and achieving but still finding yourself persistently dissatisfied with life — you might start looking for answers beyond wh...

24 Jun 202551min

How to Turn Vices Into Career-Advancing Virtues

How to Turn Vices Into Career-Advancing Virtues

What if the traits you’ve been taught to suppress your entire career are actually the very qualities that separate those who get what they want from those who stay stuck waiting for recognition that n...

17 Jun 202554min

Men Don't Run in the Rain — And 7 Other Essential Lessons for Being a Man

Men Don't Run in the Rain — And 7 Other Essential Lessons for Being a Man

When Rick Burgess was growing up, his father, Bill Burgess, was also his football coach. But Bill was a mentor on and off the field not only for his own son but for the many young men he coached at bo...

10 Jun 202553min

The Making of a Supreme Commander — How Eisenhower Became the Leader Who Delivered Victory on D-Day

The Making of a Supreme Commander — How Eisenhower Became the Leader Who Delivered Victory on D-Day

That Dwight D. Eisenhower became Supreme Commander of the Allied forces in Europe, orchestrating the largest amphibious invasion in history on June 6, 1944, was far from inevitable.He came from the mi...

3 Jun 202550min

How to Have the Manners and Charm of a Proper English Gentleman

How to Have the Manners and Charm of a Proper English Gentleman

The British just seem like a classier bunch. Part of it is that winning accent. But it's also because English culture has long been steeped in the tradition of learning and practicing etiquette.Here t...

27 Mai 202549min

Become a Master of Uncertainty

Become a Master of Uncertainty

Uncertainty is a constant of human existence. How will market conditions affect your new business venture? What will be the results of the medical test you just took? Will a new relationship work out?...

20 Mai 202550min

Building Tribe — How to Create and Sustain Communities of Men

Building Tribe — How to Create and Sustain Communities of Men

Community is one of life's most valuable but increasingly scarce resources. While we hear about a supposed epidemic of male loneliness, many men still resist joining groups or struggle to maintain inv...

13 Mai 202546min

Populært innen Fakta

mikkels-paskenotter
fastlegen
dine-penger-pengeradet
relasjonspodden-med-dora-thorhallsdottir-kjersti-idem
foreldreradet
treningspodden
rss-strid-de-norske-borgerkrigene
rss-bisarr-historie
jakt-og-fiskepodden
hverdagspsyken
sinnsyn
tomprat-med-gunnar-tjomlid
fryktlos
level-up-med-anniken-binz
gravid-uke-for-uke
rss-kunsten-a-leve
rss-kull
takk-og-lov-med-anine-kierulf
hagespiren-podcast
uroskolen