Why We Don’t Change (and what you can do about it) with Dr. Ross Ellenhorn

Why We Don’t Change (and what you can do about it) with Dr. Ross Ellenhorn

Why does change feel so difficult, even when we desperately want it? Dr. Ross Ellenhorn joins the show to explore our resistance to change, and the many good reasons we might have to stay just as we are. Forrest and Dr. Ellenhorn discuss the “fear of hope,” the allure of sameness, and what actually helps people develop the confidence to make meaningful changes in their lives. Topics include challenging conventional self-help wisdom, existential dread, dealing with disappointment, major issues in social work, psychedelics, and self-compassion. About our Guest: Ross Ellenhorn is a psychotherapist and sociologist, the owner and CEO of Ellenhorn, a community-integration program offering services for individuals experiencing addictive behaviors or extreme and complex states of mind and mood, and the author of three books including How We Change (and Ten Reasons Why We Don’t). You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:00: How Dr. Ross’s background in social work influences his outlook on change 6:20: What makes people want to stay the same 18:00: Self-efficacy, faith, and making hope big 24:55: Seeing your problems as solutions 30:00: Grappling with existential anxiety 34:20: The shock of recognition, and connecting with motivations through dialog 40:25: Managing disappointment 43:20: Psychosocial rehab, and the changing definition of mental health 52:55: Psychedelics and direct action 1:04:30: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episoder(460)

Dealing with Guilt Trips, Boundaries, and Non-Monogamy: November Mailbag

Dealing with Guilt Trips, Boundaries, and Non-Monogamy: November Mailbag

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag to answer listener questions about effective communication, healthy relationships, and contentment. They explore how defining boundaries, taking maximum reason...

17 Nov 20251h 15min

How to Be Yourself: Authenticity in Relationships with Elizabeth Ferreira

How to Be Yourself: Authenticity in Relationships with Elizabeth Ferreira

In this very fun episode, Forrest and Elizabeth discuss how to get on the same team in a relationship. They explore how conditions of worth, masking, and developmental trauma can get in the way of sho...

10 Nov 20251h 12min

Fighting the Loneliness Epidemic and the Power of Intergenerational Friendships: Feed Drop

Fighting the Loneliness Epidemic and the Power of Intergenerational Friendships: Feed Drop

Today we’re featuring an episode from another show I think you’re really going to connect with: Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health. Can a meaningful friendship bridge a 51-year age gap and help...

6 Nov 202534min

Trauma Masterclass: Understanding and Repairing Our Hidden Wounds

Trauma Masterclass: Understanding and Repairing Our Hidden Wounds

Today we’re revisiting some of our favorite episodes to explore one of the most salient topics in psychology today: trauma. We begin by tracing its developmental roots with Dr. Lindsay Gibson and Dr. ...

3 Nov 20252h 43min

End Self-Punishment: Curiosity, Joy, and Real Growth with Joe Hudson

End Self-Punishment: Curiosity, Joy, and Real Growth with Joe Hudson

Forrest is joined by one of the world’s top executive coaches, Joe Hudson, for a conversation focused on how we can reduce self-punishment and live more fulfilling lives by welcoming our emotions and ...

27 Okt 20251h 16min

Emotional Regulation: How to Feel Your Feelings Flexibly

Emotional Regulation: How to Feel Your Feelings Flexibly

Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss how we can regulate our emotions by feeling, managing, and processing them more effectively. They begin by unpacking common misconceptions and clarifying what healthy regu...

20 Okt 20251h 27min

Trauma or Personality, When to Walk Away, and Burnout: October Mailbag

Trauma or Personality, When to Walk Away, and Burnout: October Mailbag

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag to answer listener questions about trauma and its impact on personality, boundaries, anger, and burnout. They discuss how to distinguish the authentic self fro...

13 Okt 202559min

The Psychology of Resentment: Over-Functioning, Repression, and Repair

The Psychology of Resentment: Over-Functioning, Repression, and Repair

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the silent killer of relationships: resentment. They discuss resentment as a combination of perceived grievance (“I was wronged”) and helplessness (“and I can’t fix it”), ...

6 Okt 20251h 18min

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