How to Build a Marriage That Lasts: Insights From Our Conversation With Deevo

How to Build a Marriage That Lasts: Insights From Our Conversation With Deevo

Sharla and Robert are on the hot seat today as Deevo from “A Little Impolite” Podcast questions them on all things marriage, divorce, infidelity, substance abuse, childhood trauma, and even religion.

It’s clear by the numbers on success rate that Marriage isn’t always easy. Here are some that are discussed on this episode:

  • Since the early 1900s, the average age of first marriage has risen to 28 for women and 30 for men, compared to 21 for women and 24 for men historically.
  • Cohabitation before marriage has increased over 900% in the last 50 years.

  • In 1960, 72% of all adults were married, but by 2000 that number dropped to 50%.


  • The percentage of children living with two parents declined from 80-88% to 69% in the early 2000s.


  • Contempt is the number one predictor of divorce.


The landscape of marriage is changing. With over 30 years of marriage under their own belts, Sharla and Robert provide a wealth of wisdom from their experiences helping countless couples.


For anyone questioning the meaning of marriage or seeking to strengthen their own relationship, this episode offers meaningful takeaways and insights. Sharla and Robert demonstrate how communication, mutual understanding, and personal development are keys to finding fulfillment, whether married or not.


Tune in if you dare be challenged.



“The beauty of this thing is that she will help me, my partner will help me to become a better person, by uncovering some of that crap that I need to deal with. Then I can learn to grow, and I can learn how to get past it.” - Robert


“I think a lot of us use our kids as a way to not deal with this stuff in our relationship. It's a little bit of a scapegoat. And that's not a good thing. There's a way to do both. There is a way to create an actual win-win. And that's not a win-win.” - Sharla




In this Episode:


  • There is no one-size-fits-all approach.
  • How we handle disagreements and conflicts says a lot about the health of a relationship.
  • Being able to understand each other's perspectives, regulate emotions and compromise are important skills.
  • Unresolved childhood trauma can unconsciously impact our adult behaviors if not addressed.
  • Fulfilling long-term relationships takes ongoing communication, mutual understanding and a willingness from both partners to support each other through challenges.
  • Personal development benefits individuals and the relationship.



And so much more!



Resources Mentioned:





MYM Resources:





Connect with Deevo Tindall:



Connect with Robert and Sharla Snow:


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Episoder(174)

Empathy: The Antidote to Contempt

Empathy: The Antidote to Contempt

We just spent two episodes looking at contempt—the number one predictor of divorce. One of the clearest takeaways is this: empathy and contempt cannot live in the same room.When contempt is operating,...

19 Aug 33min

How to Build a Contempt-Free Marriage (it's the #1 predictor of divorce!)

How to Build a Contempt-Free Marriage (it's the #1 predictor of divorce!)

Last week we named the problem: contempt is addictive, corrosive, and the #1 predictor of divorce. This week we take up the harder question—how do we actually walk away from it?We open with an honest ...

12 Aug 29min

The Addiction of Contempt

The Addiction of Contempt

In this episode, we unpack one of the most destructive forces in modern relationships: contempt.Drawing from Arthur Brooks’ book Love Your Enemies, we explore why contempt is not just a communication ...

29 Jul 31min

Breaking the Silent Treatment: How to End the Silence and Reconnect in Your Marriage

Breaking the Silent Treatment: How to End the Silence and Reconnect in Your Marriage

We’ve all heard (or said) those loaded words: “We need to talk.” For most of us, they immediately trigger defensiveness and dread. But what happens when conversations stop altogether? In this replay e...

22 Jul 24min

Defensiveness Is a Self-Esteem Problem (And How to Fix It)

Defensiveness Is a Self-Esteem Problem (And How to Fix It)

Most of us get defensive without even realizing it — and it’s one of the fastest ways connection breaks down in marriage. In this episode, we explore why defensiveness is actually a self-esteem issue ...

16 Jul 30min

Mini Episode: Real Self Esteem, Shame & Grandiosity (Listener Questions)

Mini Episode: Real Self Esteem, Shame & Grandiosity (Listener Questions)

In this quick mid-week bonus episode, Sharla answers two listener questions from our current series on Real Self Esteem and the distortions of shame and grandiosity.We explore:Why you can feel confide...

10 Jul 4min

How Adapting to Trauma Wires Us for Shame

How Adapting to Trauma Wires Us for Shame

This is part two of our shame series. Be sure to listen to last week's episode for an introduction into shame and how it relates to self-esteem.In this episode, we go deeper into the real reason shame...

8 Jul 29min

The Shame Cycle That’s Hurting Your Marriage

The Shame Cycle That’s Hurting Your Marriage

Most of us are walking around with a relationship to ourselves that is pretty dysfunctional — and we don’t even realize it. We bounce back and forth between shame and grandiosity, sometimes minute by ...

2 Jul 25min

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