Six Different Ways To Say NO

Six Different Ways To Say NO

One of the most useful tools in the people-pleaser’s survival kit is the ability to say NO. There are at least six different kinds of no to learn and practice: the direct no, the reasoned no, the reflecting no, the rain check no, the enquiring no, and the broken record no. Each can be used in different circumstances, according to the boundary you need to set. Whichever form you use, you’ll need to challenge your assumptions and beliefs about saying no and communicate clearly and confidently.

Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes


Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting


#Assertiveness #EmotionalAppeal #EmotionalResponse #HealthyRelationship #PoliteRefusal #TrevorPowell #SixDifferentWaysToSayNO #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching


Episoder(244)

The Single Most Important Social Skill You Need Now

The Single Most Important Social Skill You Need Now

00:03:33 A 2009 paper by Aram and Aviram 00:04:11 A 2014 Journal of Applied Social Psychology article by Capozza00:09:38 Tip 1: Choose Your Fiction Wisely00:11:10 Tip 2: Sample Widely00:12:52 Tip 3: Read ACTIVELY00:15:39 Tip 4: Be Discerning Train Your Empathy: How to Cultivate the Single Most Important Relationship Skill By: Patrick KingHear it Here - https://adbl.co/3shIydQhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BDXLTRD2This video dives deep into the profound insights from Patrick King's book, Train Your Empathy: How to Cultivate the Single Most Important Relationship Skill. In a world increasingly defined by digital distance and misunderstanding, King offers a powerful and practical guide to enhancing our capacity for emotional intelligence and human connection. This is more than just a book recommendation; it's a call to action to develop the foundational skill that underpins all successful relationships, both personal and professional.Drawing on concepts from psychology and brain science, King breaks down complex ideas into actionable steps. He emphasizes that empathy isn't an innate trait but a skill that can be trained and honed, much like any other. This video explores key themes from the book, including the distinction between emotional empathy, cognitive empathy, and compassionate empathy. We look at how understanding these different forms can dramatically improve our social intelligence and our ability to navigate diverse perspectives.One of the most compelling aspects of King’s approach is his focus on applied social psychology. He moves beyond theory to provide concrete exercises and frameworks. For instance, he discusses the role of storytelling and literary fiction as powerful tools for developing perspective-taking. He argues that by actively engaging with well-developed characters, we can practice stepping into someone else's shoes, a process that strengthens the same neural pathways we use for real-life understanding. This perspective is echoed in the work of Doctor Sara Konrath, whose research highlights the neurological benefits of reading and its link to increased empathy.This video also touches on how to apply these principles in various contexts. For social skills coaching, the book provides a robust framework for improving communication and building rapport. Whether you're a leader aiming to foster a more compassionate and understanding team culture or an individual seeking to deepen your personal relationships, the lessons from Train Your Empathy are invaluable. King’s insights are practical, helping us to move beyond passive understanding and into active compassion.We also explore the connections between empathy and diversity. The book illustrates how a heightened sense of empathy allows us to bridge gaps and connect with individuals from different backgrounds and experiences. This capacity for understanding is crucial for building a more inclusive and harmonious society. The work of Russell Newton and Saffron Dreams, along with Faizan and Shaila Abdullah, highlights the importance of cultural understanding and the power of narrative in fostering human connection. Their literary fiction often serves as a powerful medium for developing these very skills, showcasing the practical application of reading psychology.The video outlines several techniques presented in the book, such as "read actively" exercises, which encourage us to analyze characters and their motivations to build empathy. We also discuss how to overcome common obstacles to empathy, such as confirmation bias and egocentrism. Patrick King Consulting’s philosophy, which is embedded in the book, is all about transforming theoretical knowledge into real-world results.By the end of this video, you will have a clear understanding of why empathy is not just a soft skill but a critical

22 Aug 19min

Endless Possibilities: Unlocking the Growth Mindset with Dr. Carmen Bell-Ross ***HIGHLIGHTS*** - The Science of Self

Endless Possibilities: Unlocking the Growth Mindset with Dr. Carmen Bell-Ross ***HIGHLIGHTS*** - The Science of Self

The Mindset of Lifelong Learning with Dr. Carmen BellSee the full conversation at https://youtu.be/v9nuF6CBdicIn this episode of The Science of Self, host Russell welcomes Dr. Carmen Bell to discuss the importance of maintaining a mindset of continuous learning and growth throughout life. Dr. Carmen shares insights on professional and personal development, emphasizing the value of always being open to new opportunities and knowledge. She highlights the differences between formal continuing education and a lifelong learner's mindset. Additionally, Dr. Carmen dives into how to identify and overcome blind spots in your career and personal life, as well as tips for effectively seeking feedback and striving for true leadership. The episode concludes with personal anecdotes about Dr. Carmen's daughter, a successful Harvard student, showcasing the impact of a strategic and supportive upbringing.00:00 Introduction to Lifelong Learning00:37 Welcoming Dr. Carmen Bell01:55 Defining Continuing Professional Education03:42 The Growth Mindset04:54 Identifying and Overcoming Blind Spots07:02 Leadership and Career Advancement09:33 Discussing Personal Development12:20 Dr. Carmen's Daughter and Parenting Insights14:10 Navigating College Admissions

17 Aug 16min

Overcome Insecurity and Boost Self-Esteem

Overcome Insecurity and Boost Self-Esteem

00:02:14 Chapter 2. Core Beliefs and Automatic Thoughts00:05:15 Where Lack of Confidence Comes 00:13:31 See if you can notice any of these patterns in your own thinking00:23:27 TakeawayThe Confidence Formula: May Cause: Lower Self-Doubt, Higher Self-Esteem, and Comfort In Your Own Skin (Be Confident and Fearless Book 8) By: Patrick KingHear it Here - https://bit.ly/ConfidenceFormulaKinghttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0994VF5XHJoin us as we dive into Patrick King's book, "The Confidence Formula: A Cognitive Model for Building Unshakable Self-Confidence." In this episode, host Russell Newton, of Russell Newtown MG, explores the roots of insecurity and how to transform negative self-beliefs into a solid foundation of confidence. Learn practical strategies from Dr. David M. Clark's cognitive model to identify and challenge your insecurities, such as rumination, lack of confidence, social anxiety, and fear of public speaking. Understand the importance of self-monitoring and safety behaviors while exploring the role of automatic thoughts in shaping our expectations and core beliefs. Discover how to reframe your negative bias filter to embrace positive communication skills and strengthen your emotional immune system. If you struggle with self-doubt, fear of social interactions, or a lack of confidence, this episode is for you. Learn how The Confidence Formula can help you break free from the cycle of insecurity and live a more confident and fearless life.Tags: #NewtonMG #Insecurity #Rumination #SelfEsteem #AdrianWells #CoreBeliefs #Expectations #PatrickKing #DavidMClark #MentalHealth #SocialPhobia #RussellNewton #SocialAnxiety #CognitiveModel #SelfMonitoring #SafetyBehaviors #AutomaticThoughts #LackOfConfidence #SocialInteractions #CommunicationSkills #NegativeBiasFilter #SelfFulfillingProphecy.

13 Aug 24min

Mind-Body Synergy: Exploring Therapy, Hypnosis, and Healing

Mind-Body Synergy: Exploring Therapy, Hypnosis, and Healing

The Interplay of Mind and Body with Dr. Margaret Cochran: Overcoming Fear and InflammationSee the Full Interview at https://youtu.be/PMnQIw7fNEwDr. Margaret Cochran is a licensed clinical social worker, life coach, hypnotherapist, educator, social media personality, and author with over 25 years of experience in helping individuals achieve their personal and professional goals.Throughout her career, Dr. Cochran has been featured in numerous media outlets nationwide, and she regularly contributes to the Huffington Post, appears on NBC Sacramento’s morning show, and has hosted radio programs such as “Wisdom, Love and Magic” and “A Mental Health Moment.”Dr. Cochran is a transpersonal psychologist, licensed clinical social worker, life coach, hypnotherapist, educator, social media personality and author with more than 25 years of clinical experience. A seasoned professional dedicated to the health and well-being of all her patients, Dr. Cochran takes a whole person approach to mental health and wellness. She seamlessly interweaves traditional ego psychology, transpersonal psychology and energy psychology affording her patients every tool possible to achieve their goals and make their dreams a reality. Dr. Cochran has been featured in a range of media outlets throughout the country including BBC, ABC, CBS, NBC and FOX affiliates, CBS Radio, Healthline, Yahoo Life, Total Beauty, Media News Group, Mercury News, and many additional outlets. In addition to the Huffington Post, she has also been featured regularly on NBC Sacramento’s morning show and hosted radio programs such as, “Wisdom, Love and Magic” and “A Mental Health Moment.”In this insightful episode, Dr. Margaret Cochran, also known as 'the relationship doctor,' delves into the intricate connection between the mind and body. She explains how fear and inflammation work hand in hand to affect our health and shares powerful methods to mitigate these effects. Dr. Cochran discusses her unique background in clinical social work, psychology, metaphysics, and wildlife rehabilitation, offering fascinating stories and practical advice. Learn about energy psychology, hypnotherapy, and the transformative power of gratitude. Discover how to challenge 'shoulds,' cultivate empathy, and rewire your brain for resilience.00:00 Introduction: The Two Causes of Sickness00:30 Meet Dr. Margaret Cochran01:10 Exploring Metaphysics and Traditional Physics01:50 Therapeutic Approaches and Fear03:32 The Interplay of Mind and Body04:31 Hypnosis and Its Applications05:45 Understanding Trance and Hypnosis08:15 Anchoring Techniques for Compulsive Behaviors11:26 Teaching Compassion and Empathy14:59 Dr. Cochran's Books and Their Themes18:41 Daily Practices for Self-Development20:07 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsIn this insightful episode featuring **Dr. Margaret Cochran**, a **relationship doctor** with a unique background in **wildlife rehabilitation**, we explore the profound **mind-body connection**. Dr. Cochran delves into how **fear** and **inflammation** are deeply intertwined, affecting our **holistic health** and **wellness**. She discusses practical ways to achieve **resilience** and personal growth by utilizing techniques from **transpersonal psychology**, **energy psychology**, and **hypnotherapy**. The conversation highlights the importance of **gratitude**, **empathy**, and **compassion** as powerful tools for rewiring the brain. The discussion also touches upon deeper metaphysical concepts, such as **quantum entanglement** and the **interconnectedness of humanity**, and how they relate to healing and personal transformation. By understanding the brain's role and challenging limiting beliefs, listeners are equipped to overcome fear, mitigate stress, and foster a stronger sense of

9 Aug 21min

The Zombie Cat, The Runaway Trolley, and Einstein’s Elevator: How to Master Your Mind with Thought Experiments

The Zombie Cat, The Runaway Trolley, and Einstein’s Elevator: How to Master Your Mind with Thought Experiments

00:00:26 Welcome back to Social Skills Coaching with Patrick King.00:02:26 Thinking About Thinking00:11:42 The Problem of the Runaway Trolley00:16:16 The Zombie Cat00:20:15 Physics First00:25:27 TakeawaysLearn To Think Using Thought Experiments: How to Expand Your Mental Horizons, Understand Metacognition, Improve Your Curiosity, and Think Like a Philosopher (Clear Thinking and Fast Action Book 5) By Patrick KingHear it Here - https://bit.ly/ThoughtExpKingThe Zombie Cat, The Runaway Trolley, and Einstein’s Elevator: How to Master Your Mind with Thought ExperimentsWelcome to a journey into the deepest corners of your mind, inspired by the groundbreaking book, "Learn to Think Using Thought Experiments: How to Expand Your Mental Horizons, Understand Metacognition, Improve Your Curiosity, and Think Like a Philosopher." In this video, we're going to explore the incredible power of gedankenexperiments, or thought experiments, and how they can fundamentally change the way you think.Do you want to unlock your creativity, sharpen your critical thinking skills, and foster a deeper sense of curiosity? Thought experiments are powerful mental tools used by the greatest minds in history, from Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton to Werner Heisenberg and Niels Bohr. They are mental simulations designed to explore the implications and consequences of a hypothesis without a real-world setup. They force you to confront your assumptions and challenge your preconceived notions. It's the ultimate exercise in problem solving.Think about Isaac Newton's cannon: he imagined a cannonball fired from a mountain to understand orbital mechanics. This simple hypothetical laid the groundwork for our understanding of gravity. Or consider Schrödinger's cat, the "zombie cat" paradox proposed by Erwin Schrödinger. He used this bizarre scenario not to suggest a cat could be both alive and dead, but to highlight the strange interpretation of quantum mechanics. It's a brilliant example of using an outlandish idea to provoke deeper inquiry.The most famous moral dilemma of all is the trolley problem. You see a runaway trolley speeding toward five people. You can pull a lever to divert it, killing only one person. This scenario has no easy answer; it's designed to make you examine your own ethical frameworks and understand concepts of responsibility.The book "Learn to Think Using Thought Experiments" by Patrick King is a comprehensive guide to mastering this invaluable skill. It’s a practical guide to using these mental tools for your own cognitive development and intellectual growth. You'll learn how to create your own thought experiments and use them to improve everything from your career to your personal relationships. Imagine using a thought experiment to test a new business idea or to make a difficult life decision. The book equips you with the tools for these mental simulations.The book delves into a wide range of thought experiments, from those of physicists like Werner Heisenberg and Niels Bohr to philosophical puzzles that challenge our understanding of consciousness and free will. It even touches on concepts from other fields, such as the famous Geiger counter, used in a way to illustrate randomness and probability.This isn't about memorizing facts; it's about cultivating metacognition—the ability to think about your own thinking. By using thought experiments, you learn to question everything, explore every possibility, and think like a philosopher. You'll move beyond simple facts and into the realm of deeper understanding, honing your imagination and learning to see the world not just as it is, but as it could be.If you’re ready to expand your mental horizons, improve your problem-solving skills, and ignite your...

6 Aug 28min

From Syria to Success: Hussein Hallak's Inspirational Path - Voice over Work - An Audiobook Sampler

From Syria to Success: Hussein Hallak's Inspirational Path - Voice over Work - An Audiobook Sampler

Hussein Halak on Embracing Life's Diversity and Mastering Your True Purpose | The Science of Self PodcastSee the entire conversation at https://youtu.be/wOMJATWcOkUIn this episode of 'The Science of Self,' host Russell dives deep with guest Hussein Halak, an accomplished entrepreneur, strategist, and author. Hussein shares his journey from Syria to Dubai, discussing his experiences growing up amid economic sanctions, exploring multiple creative ventures, and the importance of living a life full of exploration. He elaborates on the concept of 'Life Mastery' as a dark art that requires personal touch and adaptability. Hussein also emphasizes the value of uncomfortable growth, continuous learning, and the importance of contributing to and teaching others. Join us for an insightful conversation that bridges personal values, cultural experiences, and life mastery.00:00 Introduction and Welcome00:49 Meet Hussein Halak: Entrepreneur and Author01:40 Growing Up in Syria04:32 Life During Sanctions and Moving to Dubai05:57 Passion for Music and Art07:04 Philosophy on Life and Success07:34 The Dark Art of Life Mastery08:26 Embracing True Purpose09:12 The American Dream and Personal Values12:59 The Importance of Feedback13:55 Final Thoughts and Advice

1 Aug 18min

Communication Amidst Noise

Communication Amidst Noise

00:03:30 Physical Noise00:04:41 Physiological Noise00:05:31 Semantic Noise00:06:56 Psychological Nois00:09:14 Overcoming Noise00:10:15 Understand the Noise and How It’s Impacting You00:13:16 Plan Ahead and Minimize Obstacles00:15:11 TakeawaysMindful Listening: How To Be Present, Intentional, and Empathetic (How to be More Likable and Charismatic Book 35) By Patrick Kinghttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CX1F3HFXIn this video, we dive into the art of mindful listening as discussed in the book "Mindful Listening: How To Be Present, Intentional, and Empathetic." We'll explore various types of noise that hinder effective communication: physical noise, physiological noise, semantic noise, and psychological noise. By understanding these distractions and how they impact us, we can learn to identify them, plan ahead, and minimize their obstacles in our daily conversations. Improve your listening skills and deepen relationships through empathetic perspective.**Tags:**#MindfulListening #CommunicationSkills #EmpathicListening #Relationships #OvercomingNoise #ListeningTips #PatrickKing

30 Jul 16min

Highlights of "The Path to Teaching on Your Own Terms with Elliot Phillips" - Voice over Work - An Audiobook Sampler

Highlights of "The Path to Teaching on Your Own Terms with Elliot Phillips" - Voice over Work - An Audiobook Sampler

Empowering Teachers to Become Entrepreneurs with Elliot Phillips | The Science of SelfSee the entire conversation at https://youtu.be/NR4sjX7AetUIn this episode of The Science of Self, host Russell welcomes Elliot Phillips, a former UK PE teacher turned entrepreneur. Elliot shares his journey from teaching to launching a business that helps teachers build online tutoring businesses. He provides insights into his bestselling book, 'Teaching on Your Own Terms,' and details his 'Five to Thrive' routine. The conversation dives into the inception of his Teacher Fit Project, his experience during the pandemic, and valuable advice for personal development. Elliot also discusses his morning routines, emphasizing the importance of gratitude, learning, and physical exercise for overall well-being. Tune in to learn how to achieve greatness by helping others and fostering a growth mindset.00:00 Welcome and Introduction00:26 Meet Elliot Phillips: From PE Teacher to Entrepreneur00:35 The Journey to Online Tutoring01:12 Mindset and Success Principles02:34 Elliot's Background and Path to Teaching04:01 Teaching on Your Own Terms: The Book05:25 The Teacher Project: Origin and Growth07:47 Recommended Reads and Final Thoughts10:27 Elliot's Daily Habits and Advice13:58 Closing Remarks and Farewell

28 Jul 15min

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