Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn24 Sep 2024

Managing conflict with a partner with ADHD

Conflict can be uncomfortable. But it’s a necessary part of life that can have great outcomes. ADHD often comes with trouble with executive function, emotional regulation, time perception, and more. This can make conflict even tougher to face.

Senior certified Gottman relationship therapist Michael McNulty walks us through the research on which the Gottman Method is based — and what it means for relationships.

Listen to Cate and Michael as they explore how conflict can change with ADHD, and the four horsemen of divorce — each with their own antidote.

Related resources

Trouble with self-regulation: What to know
The Gottman Institute
Michael’s website, chicagorelationshipcenter.com

Timestamps

(03:34) What is the Gottman Method?

(06:00) The research the Gottman Method is based on

(09:42) ADHD and the Gottman Method

(12:54) Executive function and conflict

(15:22) Time perception and conflict

(16:20) What is “turning away and turning towards”?

(19:13) The four horsemen of divorce

(20:32) The first horseman: Criticism

(23:26) The second horseman: Defensiveness

(24:50) The third horseman: Contempt

(27:48) The fourth horseman: Stonewalling

(29:11) Where you can find Michael

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.org

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

As kids head back to school, it's a good time to remember: not every student experiences the classroom the same way. Through My Eyes, a free interactive experience from Understood, lets you step into a day in the life of a kid with ADHD, dyslexia, or dyscalculia. See their strengths and challenges in a whole new way. Try it out here.

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give.

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