Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn11 Feb 2025

Navigating emotional intimacy with ADHD

Emotional intimacy is about sharing an emotional connection and presence with yourself and other people. But a lot of ADHD traits, and lived experiences, can get in the way. This could be due to trouble with emotional regulation, the emotional labor it takes to feel believed, masking, and more.

Michelle Frank is a clinical psychologist and the co-author of A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD. Listen to this conversation exploring how shame can be a roadblock to emotional intimacy, and how this intimacy can look different within every relationship.

Related resources

Michelle’s book, A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD by Sari Solden and Michelle Frank

Timestamps

(02:46) What is emotional intimacy?

(04:14) Barriers to emotional intimacy with ADHD

(09:33) Shame and ADHD

(15:29) What steps can we take to build emotional intimacy?

(17:28) Sitting in uncomfortable feelings, and rejection sensitivity

(20:48) People pleasing versus building authentic connections

(22:36) What about when we’re in a relationship without emotional intimacy?

(28:41) Where can you find Michelle?

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

As kids head back to school, it's a good time to remember: not every student experiences the classroom the same way. Through My Eyes, a free interactive experience from Understood, lets you step into a day in the life of a kid with ADHD, dyslexia, or dyscalculia. See their strengths and challenges in a whole new way. Try it out here.

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