Beyond Sex: Understanding Desire with Shadeen Francis (260)

What did Bowlby mean by “internal working model” and how true did it turn out to be? While it is mostly unconscious, our internal working models play a role in how we navigate our relationships with ourselves and others. Co-hosts Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott use neuroscience and personal narratives to help make this science digestible and applicable in our daily lives. “Internal working models are not a metaphor – they’re a real thing.” – Sue Marriott Time Stamps for Internal Working Model  5:53 – Definition of internal working model 9:58 – Most of the internal working model is unconscious 18:39 – Explanation of the term “wired in” 20:59 – Understanding how our brains are able to change and grow 28:50 – Recognizing dismissive characteristics 37:02 – Encouraging secure relating 43:50 – Sneak peek at TU updates and future episodes Resources for Internal Working Model Strange Situation – Mary Ainsworth Internal Working Model – John Bowlby View the transcripts for Internal Working Models with Ann & Sue here We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons. Please join us today! By joining as a Patron premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed and unique study opportunities. Click here to join!  Thanks for stopping by, we hope the podcast (and these show notes) offer quality education and insight into interpersonal relationships.  An entirely free way to support us is to rate and review the podcast on your favorite podcast player and/or share this episode with someone you think could use the quality content of the show!

7 Mar 202344min

21 Feb 20231h 10min

Pause to add consciousness to your next intention. As a certified Neonatal Therapist, Sue Ludwig has dedicated her life to not only the physical development but the emotional development of her patients. Ludwig brings intentionality to each moment by strategically working to regulate patients’ nervous systems during their time in the NICU. Her process focuses on the interconnection of the mind and body and aims to support the child’s development in vulnerable situations. She explains the importance of proper technique to avoid disrupting the nervous system and the long-term effects on neurodevelopment. Through her personal and professional journeys, Sue Ludwig has learned the value of being present in small moments to build deeper connections and experience lasting results. “Humans are different in that we’re meant to co-regulate, we are meant to be with a parent or adult. The way that we show up as parents and how calm we are – the better the babies are able to absorb our presence.” Time Stamps for “What Tiny Humans Can Teach Us About Adult Relating, with Sue Ludwig (197)” 1:11 – What do we mean by energy 6:05 – The power of bringing intention to energy 10:36 – Regulating babies’ nervous systems 14:09 – Properly performing the “hand hug” when holding small babies 17:58 – A proper “hand hug” for a more developed baby 20:50 – Importance of connection between the child and parent 21:38 – The “hand hug” technique for a full-term baby 27:54 – Co-regulation from the parent’s perspective 30:52 – Sue’s personal introduction to intentionality 42:31 – Embracing that development is never-ending Resources for  Sue Ludwig’s Website National Association of Neonatal Therapists (NANT) American Occupational Therapy Association (AOTA) National Coalition for Infant Health (NCFIH)  Hope for HIE – Website About our expert guest, Sue Ludwig Sue Ludwig is passionate about improving the quality of life for infants who begin their journey in the NICU, and the professionals who serve them. She is a sought-after speaker, consultant, and writer. A licensed occupational therapist and certified neonatal therapist, she is president and founder of the National Association of Neonatal Therapists (NANT), where she uses a blend of clinical expertise, innovation, and leadership to support the advancement of this specialized field on a global level. Sue is the media expert in neonatal therapy for the American Occupational Therapy Association, a member of the steering committee for the National Coalition for Infant Health, and a medical advisory board member for Hope for HIE. She has received the Laura Edmunds Lectureship Award from UMass Memorial Medical Center, the Individual Contribution to Maternal and Child Health Award from the National Perinatal Association, and the Alumni Professional Achievement Award from Eastern Kentucky University. She has also been named a Graham’s Foundation Resilience Honoree. Sue’s book Tiny Humans, Big Lessons was published in March of 2022. Today, Sue lives in Cincinnati, Ohio, with her husband and a few dogs, and has two grown children. Click here to view this episode’s transcripts We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch sales to organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare.  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons. Please join us today! By joining as a Patron premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed, deeper dives into select content, and very unique study opportunities. Sponsors who help make these episodes free and available to all – please do support them to support us! With HelloFresh, you get farm-fresh, pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. Skip trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy, fun, AND affordable – that’s why it’s America’s #1 meal kit!  Go to HelloFresh.com/tu21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping!  Calm helps you stress less, sleep more and live a happier, healthier life. Their guided meditations, sleep stories, relaxing music tracks, and daily movement sessions are all designed to give you the tools to improve the way you feel. Over 100 million people around the world use Calm. Even if you’ve never meditated before, you’ll get the support you need to reduce stress, improve focus, and uplift your mood. If you go to Calm.com/TU, you’ll get a special offer of 40% off a Calm Premium Subscription, and new content is added every week. Dipsea is an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. They bring scenarios to life with immersive soundscapes and realistic characters. Discover stories about second-chance romances, adventurous vacation flings, and hot and heavy hookups. Radically inclusive, Dipsea has stories for straight and queer listeners, and 56% of stories are voice acted by people of color. Let Dipsea be your go-to place to spice up your me-time, explore your fantasies, relax and unwind, or heat things up with a partner. For listeners of the show, Dipsea is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/TU Thanks for stopping by, we hope the podcast (and these show notes) offer quality education and insight into interpersonal relationships.  An entirely free way to support us is to simply rate and review the podcast on your favorite podcast player, and/or to simply share this episode with someone you think could use the free resources on the show!

7 Feb 202356min

Elizabeth A. Stanley, Ph.D., is an associate professor of security studies at Georgetown University and the creator of Mindfulness-Based Mind Fitness Training (MMFT)®, taught to thousands in civilian and military high-stress environments. In 2019, Dr. Stanley published “Widen the Window: Training your Brain and Body to Thrive During Stress and Recovering from Trauma” – a highly praised resource known for providing tools to heal and thrive. We are replaying this discussion we shared with Dr. Stanley in early 2022 as a reminder of the power of expanding our windows of tolerance and building resiliency.   To check out the original show notes for Elizabeth Stanley’s episode, click here! Resources related to Elizabeth Stanley Ph.D.’s Episode  Dr. Elizabeth A. Stanley’s Website “Widen the Window: Training Your Brain and Body to Thrive During Stress and Recover from Trauma” – Purchase “Mindfulness-Based Mind-Fit Training” – Online Courses “Optimizing the Caveman Within Us” – Dr. Elizabeth A. Stanley’s TedTalk Please join us today! By joining as a Patron premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed, deeper dives into select content, and very unique study opportunities.  Thanks for stopping by, we hope the podcast (and these show notes) offer quality education and insight into interpersonal relationships.  An entirely free way to support us is to simply rate and review the podcast on your favorite podcast player, and/or to simply share this episode with someone you think could use the free resources on the show!

24 Jan 20231h 17min

Contact Bolte-Taylor to find out how her work is being applied and sign up for certification. Since this podcast first aired, Sue Marriott worked with a very small group of people with Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor in the first round of Whole Brain Living certification. Contact Jill Bolte-Taylor to find out how to participate. Learn about 4 major characters (skill sub-sets) in your mind as a way to understand neuroanatomy and how to best use the power of your whole mind. NOTE: For our private Neuronerd community, don’t forget to check out the deep dive series on Whole Brain Living.  Join to access it for as little as $5 a month at www.therapistuncensored.com/join. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor is a Harvard-trained neuroanatomist who suffered a stroke that led her on a path to rediscovering her brain. At the end of 2021, we had the privilege of discussing the inner workings of the mind with Dr. Bolte Taylor. We thought this was the perfect episode to kick off the new year, full of eye-opening insights that could help improve the way you live your life. To check out the original show notes for Jill Bolte-Taylor’s episode, click here! RESOURCES: Check out her TED Talk, My Stroke of Insight (join the inspiration of 28 million viewers!)  How to do a Brain Huddle by Jill Bolte-Taylor. Free Webinar Series and Contact Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor HERE  Hear more psychology and neuroscience in previous episodes: Episode 93 Polyvagal Theory with Dr. Stephen Porges Episode 110 Story Follows State (more polyvagal theory) with Deb Dana   Episode 117 Resilience Trauma and the Brain with Dr. Bruce Perry  Please join us today!  By joining as a Patron premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed, deeper dives into select content, and very unique study opportunities.  Thanks for stopping by, we hope the podcast (and these show notes) offer quality education and insight into interpersonal relationships.  An entirely free way to support us is to simply rate and review the podcast on your favorite podcast player, and/or to simply share this episode with someone you think could use the free resources on the show!

10 Jan 20231h 15min

Earlier this year, we had the privilege of speaking with Loretta J. Ross, a world-renowned human-rights activist. In 2022, she was acknowledged by the MacArthur Foundation for her dedication to social justice, human rights, and reproductive justice. As a well-deserving recipient, we couldn’t think of a better episode to close out the year. The holidays can sometimes feel draining and the tension from familial relationships can take a toll. Loretta J. Ross’s words of wisdom and “calling in” are a great extra resource during the season. View her MacArthur Foundation Award here Check out our original show notes for this episode, here! And follow us on our social media pages to get the latest updates and information: Instagram, Youtube, Facebook, & Twitter! We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch sales to organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare.  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons. Please join us today! By joining as a Supercast premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed, deeper insights into select content, and unique study opportunities. Like what you’re hearing? A great way to help others find these resources is to rate and review wherever you get your podcasts. This is an easy and effective way for those seeking assistance to be able to find it. Thank you so much for your support.

23 Des 20221h 4min

Many answers to our challenges are already inside of us. In today’s episode, find new perspectives on how culture and trauma affect our navigation within the world. Using bottom-up approaches, she explains how addictions are regulation strategies and provides tools to deeper connect to our nervous systems and ourselves. Join social workers Sue Marriott and Jan Winhall as they explore Winhall’s “felt sense” model, where she blends neuroception and interoception through a polyvagal lens. Jan Winhall is a highly experienced therapist and author who has dedicated her life to understanding and challenging dominant structures. From her years of group therapy and studying with figures like Dr. Stephen Porges, she has combined her findings into her recent book Treating Trauma and Addiction with the Felt Sense Plyvagal Model: A Bottom-Up Approach. “Felt sense is all about the capacity in the body to notice what we’re experiencing and to carry us forward in the direction of healing and growth.” – Jan Winhall About Jan Winhall  Jan Winhall, MSW, FOT is an author, teacher, and psychotherapist. She is an adjunct lecturer in the Department of Social Work at the University of Toronto. She is the director of Focusing on Borden, a psychotherapy and training center. Jan presents internationally on trauma and addiction. You can find many resources for both clinicians and clients on her website, including videos, PDFs (see below) and training opportunities. Time Stamps for the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model  3:47 – Tying the autonomic nervous system to addiction 6:02 – Breaking down bottom-up processing 8:13 – The relationship between interoception and neuroception  14:17 – Rethinking the term “sex addiction” 18:46 – Neuroception temperature example 21:16 – Introducing the intervening variable 27:53 – The six F’s and their branches 36:01 – The learning model of addiction 41:34 – Winhall’s perspective on polyvagal theory Resources for the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model  Treating Addiction & Trauma Together – Youtube Video Trauma and Recovery – Book by Judith Herman Jan Winhall Models 6 F’s client and clinician version Revolutionizing Addiction Treatment with The Felt Sense Polyvagal Model – Article International Body Psychotherapy Journal  Jan Winhall Website  The Conspiracy of Silence – Book by Sandra Butler The Politics of Giving Therapy – Eugene T. Gendlin, Ph.D. Stephen W. Porges, Ph.D. – Website Doug Braun-Harvey, Fellowship in Sexual Compulsive Behavior – Website Focusing on Borden – Jan Winhall Other Relevant Therapist Uncensored Episodes https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu18-polyvagal-theory-understanding-irrational-threat-responses-in-relationships/ https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu93-polyvagal-theory-in-action-the-practice-of-body-regulation-with-dr-stephen-porges/ https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu94-the-science-of-self-regulation-breaking-down-polyvagal-theory/ https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu110-story-follows-state-investigating-polyvagal-theory-with-guest-deb-dana/ CLICK here for Jan Winhall Transcripts – Episode 192 We have pledged 50% of all corporate profits & merch sales to organizations that support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare.  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons. Please join us today! By joining as a Patron premium subscriber, you get a dedicated ad-free feed, deeper insights into select content, and unique study opportunities.   Thanks for stopping by, we hope the podcast (and these show notes) offer quality education and insight into interpersonal relationships.  An entirely free way to support us is to simply rate and review the podcast on your favorite podcast player, and/or to simply share this episode with someone you think could use the free resources on the show!

13 Des 202243min

Discipline is about teaching, not punishment.  Children are sponges. They are constantly soaking up information about themselves, their relationships and their future.  And parents are the most powerful influences on these messages, so what we do really matters. Knowing this, sometimes we double down on trying to assert our wisdom, hammer a point home, or stop an unwanted behavior in it’s tracks. After all, we want to raise kids who are kind, responsible, caring, and independent. The trouble is, if we are acting out of fear, being fueled by anger and reactivity, it’s likely we aren’t having the impact we truly desire. For kids to learn, they need to feel emotionally safe and cognitively open. For this to happen, parents need to start by cultivating their own self-awareness and emotion management. In today’s episode, learn powerful strategies for parenting even during the most difficult moments. Ann Kelley, Kat Scherer and Elizabeth Sylvester discuss ways of integrating attachment and neurobiology into disciplinary styles that work and build balance in our relationships. Throughout the episode, Dr. Scherer and Dr. Sylvester highlight some of their most effective parenting strategies discussed in their recent book, Relationship-Based Treatment of Children & Their Parents: An Integrative Guide to Neurobiology, Attachment, Regulation, and Discipline.  Specifically, they dive deep into the “7 Essential Attachment Needs” for children’s optimal development, emphasize the importance of repair in relationships, and discuss the building blocks of secure parenting. “When limits are set firmly, but kindly, this fuels healing in the attachment relationship.”  – Dr. Elizabeth Sylvester Time Stamps for Relationship-based treatment 1:05 – Breaking down the title of their book, “Relationship-Based Treatment of Children & Their Parents” 4:43 – The integration between attachment and discipline 8:52 – Finding balance with a high-intense child 11:31 – Rethinking the way we view dysregulation 16:38 – The 7 essential attachment needs 24:58 – Recognizing the importance of “the repair” 35:47 – Discipline is learning 39:08 – The effects of “fear-based” discipline 45:08 – The role of “novelty and play” 51:49 – The power in empowered parenting Resources for Relationship-based treatment Relationship-Based Treatment – Youtube Channel Website Link – Relationship-Based Treatment The Nurtured Heart Institute – Website for the Nurtured Heart Approach  mindGAINS – Website for the Global Association for Interpersonal Neurobiology Studies Dr. Elizabeth A. Sylvester – Website Dr. Kathy Scherer – Website About Dr. Elizabeth Sylvester & Dr. Kat Scherer Dr. Elizabeth Sylvester is a Psychologist and Educator working with children, parents, and families in Austin Texas for over 30 years. She is a practitioner of the Nurtured Heart Approach ®, and has completed advanced training in this system.  Her specialty is providing parent training and child psychotherapy for children and teens who are highly behaviorally and emotionally intense.  In addition to her clinical work, Dr. Sylvester facilitates training for professionals and the public on parenting, and child and adolescent psychotherapy.  She has a particular focus on the interaction of relationships and neurobiological development with mental health and behavior. She has presented in a variety of settings including universities, professional organizations, mental health agencies, and community organizations. In collaboration with Dr. Kathy Scherer (a founder of Austin IN Connection), she created the Heart & Work series of writings, presentations, and workshops. Dr. Sylvester is a co-founder of Austin Child Therapy, an organization whose mission is to support the work of pediatric mental health professionals in Austin. Kathy (Kat) Scherer, Ph.D., MFT, C-IAYT is a Psychologist, Educator, and Author working in Austin for over 25 years. She is a psychotherapist in private practice and offers presentations on topics such as interpersonal neurobiology, family attachment, social-emotional development, and the application of yoga and meditation for stress management. Her presentations have been offered at a wide variety of settings including universities, professional conferences, community centers, and schools. Dr. Scherer is a co-founder of Austin IN Connection and its Family Matters program, both Austin area multidisciplinary organizations focused on emotional health and positive relational attachments. She co-hosts the Heart & Work Series of writings including two collaborative mental health blogs (with Drs. Holt & Sylvester):  Therapy Matters and Heart & Work of Parenting. Episode Transcripts – 192 – Lightly edited for readability

29 Nov 202258min