Is There an “Effort Mismatch” in Your Relationship?

Is There an “Effort Mismatch” in Your Relationship?

When two partners have a major difference between them, it can kick up a lot of dust in a relationship. One of the most common is what Dr. Alexandra calls “The Effort Mismatch”: while one partner tends to scan the relationship for problems and is always on the lookout for growth opportunities (The Change Partner), the other partner holds steady, generally accepting the relationship for what it is today (The Acceptance Partner). The good news is, when both partners understand and value their differences, this contrast between them can be a huge asset to their relationship. However, most couples with an Effort Mismatch struggle to reckon with this discrepancy, digging their heels into their side of the dynamic or wishing their partner would magically change. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra explores the internal and relational experience of each of these two types of partners, shares tailored reminders and guidance for each of them, and explains how this difference can actually be extremely complementary, even as it poses challenges for a couple.

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Episoder(221)

A Sacred Pause: What Happens Next After 4 Years of Relationship Conversations

A Sacred Pause: What Happens Next After 4 Years of Relationship Conversations

With 215 episodes of Reimagining Love under her belt, Dr. Alexandra is announcing a pause of the podcast. In this episode, she shares why she made this decision, what’s happening in this transition (w...

21 Apr 25min

What If It’s Not “Settling”? Reimagining Acceptance

What If It’s Not “Settling”? Reimagining Acceptance

This solo episode is going to explore a fear that many of us carry inside our intimate relationships but rarely say out loud: the fear of settling. What is it? Where does it come from? And most import...

14 Apr 37min

Disrupting the Underfunctioning/Overfunctioning Dynamic (Re-Release)

Disrupting the Underfunctioning/Overfunctioning Dynamic (Re-Release)

Dr. Alexandra explores the common underfunctioning/overfunctioning dynamic in long-term partnerships. She talks about why many couples fall prey to these roles, including cultural messaging and family...

7 Apr 1h 1min

Liberated Love: From Codependency to Relational Safety with Mark Groves & Kylie McBeath (Re-Release)

Liberated Love: From Codependency to Relational Safety with Mark Groves & Kylie McBeath (Re-Release)

Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath join Reimagining Love to share the story of their relationship—the story that inspired their book, Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You De...

31 Mar 59min

"My Partner Wants to Take a Break. What's Next?"

"My Partner Wants to Take a Break. What's Next?"

In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra will be exploring the topic of taking a break from your relationship, which was inspired by a listener email. First, she will talk you through some very specific an...

24 Mar 47min

Featuring The Sober Mom Life: Taking Sexy Back Soberly (and so much more!)

Featuring The Sober Mom Life: Taking Sexy Back Soberly (and so much more!)

Here’s a bonus episode for you with Dr. Alexandra guesting on The Sober Mom Life to chat with Suzanne Warye about intimate partnerships, particularly what happens in a relationship when one partner ge...

20 Mar 52min

How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship: Tools for Progress & Peace with Alicia Muñoz (Re-Release)

How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship: Tools for Progress & Peace with Alicia Muñoz (Re-Release)

Cycles of rumination and overthinking can be hard to break free from, and they can negatively impact us and our relationships. In this episode, therapist Alicia Muñoz joins Dr. Alexandra to address th...

17 Mar 57min

"I Rebounded...Are We Doomed?"

"I Rebounded...Are We Doomed?"

In this solo deep-dive episode, Dr. Alexandra will be exploring rebounds. Maybe you are fresh out of a breakup and you've crossed paths with someone you're interested in, but you're scared that pursui...

10 Mar 49min

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