Episode 29: The Day My Hole Almost Killed Me

Episode 29: The Day My Hole Almost Killed Me

In this deeply personal and emotional episode of Brolapse, I open up about the traumatic medical emergency that changed my life: a colon perforation that happened just days before recording. I walk you through the harrowing series of events — from a seemingly normal shower before a shoot with Ashlll Bay, to the moment I felt something pop inside me, to the emergency surgery that followed.


I talk honestly about the physical and emotional aftermath — the unbearable pain, the Baker Act hold, waking up to a colostomy bag, and the crushing fear that I may never fist again. I share what it’s been like adjusting to life without the part of me that’s defined so much of my identity, how I’m learning to be “Ryan” without my hole, and how I’m trying to stay creative, positive, and connected to my fans in this forced downtime.


You’ll also hear about the memoir I just completed, why this podcast is more important than ever, how I’m navigating grief and identity, and the outpouring of support I’ve received — from GoFundMe donors to exes, friends, and even The Howard Stern Show and H3 Podcast, who both invited me back on to share my story.


💔 A must-listen if you’ve ever faced a life-changing moment and wondered: How the hell do I move forward from here?



Ways to Support & Stay Connected

💸 Donate: https://HungerFF.com/GoFundMe

📺 Full video: https://HungerFF.com

🎧 Listen on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3uJBareUPFci58BJ0NtwtoIOKKuaaBIa

🎧 Spotify (Early video access!): https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/Brolapse

🍏 Apple: https://apple.co/408WLLX

📻 Amazon & Audible: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/57bbf689-250a-4c96-8559-0a79805f18b6/hungerff-presents-brolapse


🕗 New video episodes every Friday at 8 PM

🎙️ Audio drops Fridays across all podcast platforms

🔥 Early video access for Spotify subscribers

📦 Best-of compilations now live on JustFor.fans/HungerFF


Denne episoden er hentet fra en åpen RSS-feed og er ikke publisert av Podme. Den kan derfor inneholde annonser.

Episoder(97)

Episode 96 (Radio Edit — Full Ep on Spotify): Cubby Peach — How a Curiosity Became a Passion

Episode 96 (Radio Edit — Full Ep on Spotify): Cubby Peach — How a Curiosity Became a Passion

This week's Brolapse Radio Edit features the opening chapter of my conversation with Cubby Peach.In this abbreviated episode, Cubby shares how a lifelong curiosity evolved into a passion, the experien...

18 Jul 7min

Episode 95 (Raw & Uncensored): HungerFF Sound Initiative Vol. 3 — Life Update, Surgery Setbacks & New Music

Episode 95 (Raw & Uncensored): HungerFF Sound Initiative Vol. 3 — Life Update, Surgery Setbacks & New Music

Life has had other plans lately.In this special solo episode of Brolapse, Ryan James (HungerFF) opens up about the unexpected series of events that have delayed his long-awaited colostomy reversal sur...

11 Jul 21min

Episode 94 (Radio Edit — Full Ep on Spotify): Patrick Davis — Fearless Publishing, Memoirs & Telling the Truth

Episode 94 (Radio Edit — Full Ep on Spotify): Patrick Davis — Fearless Publishing, Memoirs & Telling the Truth

This is the FREE Radio Edit of my conversation with Patrick Davis, Editor-in-Chief of Unbound Edition Press.Patrick returns for Part 2 to talk about the realities of independent publishing, editing de...

4 Jul 27min

Episode 93: (Radio Edit — Full Ep on Spotify) Patrick Davis — Fearless Publishing, Finding Brotherhood & The Stories That Matter

Episode 93: (Radio Edit — Full Ep on Spotify) Patrick Davis — Fearless Publishing, Finding Brotherhood & The Stories That Matter

This is the FREE radio edit of this week's episode. You're listening to an abbreviated version featuring highlights from my conversation with Patrick Davis, Editor-in-Chief of Unbound Edition Press. T...

27 Jun 21min

Episode 92 (Radio Edit — Full Ep on Spotify): Dominic Pacifico — From Twink to Daddy, Porn’s Evolution & Finding a Second Act

Episode 92 (Radio Edit — Full Ep on Spotify): Dominic Pacifico — From Twink to Daddy, Porn’s Evolution & Finding a Second Act

This week on Brolapse, Ryan James sits down with longtime performer, producer, DJ, and fetish icon Dominic Pacifico for a candid conversation spanning nearly three decades in the adult industry.In thi...

20 Jun 19min

Episode 91 (Radio Edit — Full Ep on Spotify): Ray Diesel — How One Hookup Changed Everything

Episode 91 (Radio Edit — Full Ep on Spotify): Ray Diesel — How One Hookup Changed Everything

This week on Brolapse, Ryan sits down with longtime friend and performer Ray Diesel for a conversation that spans more than a decade in the adult industry.The two reconnect after running into each oth...

13 Jun 21min

Episode 90: Alex Tikas Returns — Parasocial Hell, Fame Without Money, & Being the Villains

Episode 90: Alex Tikas Returns — Parasocial Hell, Fame Without Money, & Being the Villains

Alex Tikas returns to Brolapse nearly 90 episodes after becoming the very first guest on the show, and this time the conversation goes way deeper than Mexico stories.Ryan James and Alex unpack what it...

6 Jun 29min

Episode 89: FFalconPunch Part 2 — Community, Connection & Protecting What Matters

Episode 89: FFalconPunch Part 2 — Community, Connection & Protecting What Matters

In Part 2 of my conversation with FFalconPunch, we dive into some of the most meaningful topics we’ve ever discussed on Brolapse.We talk about mentorship, community building, and why belonging shouldn...

30 Mai 34min

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