E210: How To Know When Enough Is Enough
Pillow Talks29 Mai 2025

E210: How To Know When Enough Is Enough

Maybe it’s a gross habit that totally kills the mood… Maybe it’s a bigger issue that leaves you feeling unseen or disconnected… This week, we’re diving into a question we hear all the time: Should I be putting up with this in my relationship? Whether it’s your partner’s lack of ambition, a dead bedroom, constant yelling, or socks in the couch cushions (yep, really) — we’re breaking down how to tell the difference between healthy compromise and straight-up self-betrayal. We’re walking through real stories submitted by our audience and sharing tools to help you: Tune into your own boundaries. Get clear on what’s worth working through. Speak your truth without blowing things up. The difference between patience and people-pleasing. When to accept a quirk vs. when to draw a hard line. How to handle dead bedrooms, defensiveness, and money fights. What to do if your partner’s gross habits are killing your vibe. The truth about “sticking it out” vs. knowing when you’ve had enough. 🎧 Whether you're questioning the little things (like nose-picking 😬) or the big things (like being completely ignored emotionally or sexually), this episode is here to help you figure out your next move. Ready to go Deeper with us? Inside our Deeper membership, you’ll get access to our full library of expert-created resources, including the guides, courses, and coaching tools we wish every couple had. PLUS — instant answers to your most intimate questions via Vanessa AI, your 24/7 virtual sex and relationship coach (and new bestie). 🎉 Podcast listeners get 25% off your first month! Use the code PILLOW at checkout right here 👉🏻 https://vmtherapy.com/deeper 🔥Treat your partner to the best f0repl@y they’ve ever had with The Ultimate Foreplay Guides 👉🏻 https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay 🎧 Stay connected: 📸 Follow us on Instagram ➡️ https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns. Sign up here 👉🏻 vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Never miss an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods! ======================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ======================== 👏Thanks Remi. Give your teeth a break without breaking the bank with Remi and save up to 50%. ➡︎ https://shopremi.com/PILLOW 👏 Thanks Cure. Get 20% off your first order. Stay hydrated and feel your best! ➡︎ https://curehydration.com/PILLOW 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Get an exclusive discount for up to 40% off. ➡︎ https://cozyearth.com/pillowtalks 👏Thanks Flure. Being you is sexy! Explore what you like on Flure Dating App ➡︎https://www.flure.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Episoder(275)

E275: Reasonable or Ridiculous? Sex Quotas, Oral Every Time, and Dirty Talk Dealbreakers

E275: Reasonable or Ridiculous? Sex Quotas, Oral Every Time, and Dirty Talk Dealbreakers

It's time for another round of Reasonable or Ridiculous, where we take real life couple disagreements our community members just can't settle and play referee. In this episode, you'll hear: Can...

27 Aug 50min

E274: Is it Normal to Not Orgasm During Sex? We Got Attacked for Talking About This

E274: Is it Normal to Not Orgasm During Sex? We Got Attacked for Talking About This

We recently shared a reel answering a question from a woman who didn’t orgasm during sex. The comments section turned into something we've never experienced in over ten years of doing this, including ...

20 Aug 1h 6min

E273: How to Try New Sex Positions Without Killing the Mood

E273: How to Try New Sex Positions Without Killing the Mood

This week we're answering all your questions about trying new positions, from how to introduce something new when you've been together forever, to why switching things up can kill the mood, to the pil...

13 Aug 1h

E272: What Do Men Really Think About….? (Part 5) Rough Sex, Vibrators, and What Turns Them Off

E272: What Do Men Really Think About….? (Part 5) Rough Sex, Vibrators, and What Turns Them Off

It’s time for another episode of What Do Men Really Think About… and Xander’s back in the hot seat to answer your burning questions about preferences, fantasies, the death grip, and how to give better...

6 Aug 57min

E271: The Real Reason You Can't "Let Go" in Bed

E271: The Real Reason You Can't "Let Go" in Bed

You're finally in bed together, but you can’t stop thinking about tomorrow's to-do list. We've all heard the advice to “just let go”. Stop thinking, stop controlling, lose yourself. But 80% of you...

30 Jul 50min

E270: The 5 Silent Relationship Killers That Turn Partners Into Roommates

E270: The 5 Silent Relationship Killers That Turn Partners Into Roommates

We ran a poll and 67% of couples told us they feel more like roommates than partners. This week we're walking through our D.R.I.F.T. Framework: the 5 silent relationship killers that chip away at int...

23 Jul 56min

E269: Tie-Breakers: We Referee Your Realest Relationship Standoffs

E269: Tie-Breakers: We Referee Your Realest Relationship Standoffs

Every couple has that one thing they’ll argue about until the end of time. TV in the bedroom. How to load the dishwasher. Can men and women just be friends? 👀 We asked our community to send us the...

16 Jul 1h 1min

E268: Ask Us Anything: Only Fans, The Ick, & Creeps In The Comments

E268: Ask Us Anything: Only Fans, The Ick, & Creeps In The Comments

It’s Xander’s birthday! And this week for our Ask Us Anything episode, we decided to answer some of your personal questions! This one really pulls back the curtain on us as a couple. Ready for honest...

9 Jul 1h 6min

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