How Asking One Hard Question Builds Deeper Trust, with Alain de Botton

How Asking One Hard Question Builds Deeper Trust, with Alain de Botton

This new Essential Habits series breaks down the key habits behind high performance, one episode at a time. This week’s habit is deceptively simple: asking better questions.


Philosopher Alain de Botton joins us to explore how a single, uncomfortable question, “How have I annoyed you?” can deepen trust, defuse tension, and create stronger connections in every part of life.


Whether it’s at home, at work, or with close friends, we often avoid the conversations that would help us grow. Alain shows us a different way, one built on emotional generosity, honest listening, and the courage to be vulnerable.


In this episode, we explore:


  • Why awkward questions build trust
  • How to listen without getting defensive
  • The science behind emotional connection
  • What high-performing teams can learn from philosophy
  • The hidden power of backstories and being 'truly heard'


Here is a list of studies referenced in the episode:


  1. The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness. Arthur Aron, Elaine Aron (1997)
  2. Understanding the conversation gap: Why employees aren’t talking, and what we can do about it (Braverly), referenced in How to Navigate Difficult Conversations with Employees. Harvard Negotiation Project
  3. Rejection Really Hurts, published in Science (Oct 2003). University Of California - Los Angeles
  4. Daring Greatly by Brené Brown


Listen to the full episode with Alain De Botton here: https://pod.fo/e/1f5db0


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episoder(687)

The 90 Second Habit That Can Change Your Life, with Mo Gawdat

The 90 Second Habit That Can Change Your Life, with Mo Gawdat

Mo lost his son, Ali, in a tragic and avoidable surgery. It’s the kind of grief that could break anyone. But instead of shutting down, he turned toward the pain, with honesty, logic, and a question th...

18 Jun 202534min

Sam Allardyce: From Relegation Hero to England’s Fall Guy - What It Taught Me

Sam Allardyce: From Relegation Hero to England’s Fall Guy - What It Taught Me

Sam Allardyce is one of English football’s most seasoned and straight-talking managers, known as much for his no-nonsense attitude as for his deep understanding of the game. With a career spanning dec...

16 Jun 20251h 18min

How to Stop Letting People Put You in a Box

How to Stop Letting People Put You in a Box

You don’t have to be who the world tells you to be, and sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is step outside the box others have put you in.In this episode, Jake and Damian dive into the idea...

13 Jun 202529min

Muhammad Ali’s Leadership Habit That Set Him Apart

Muhammad Ali’s Leadership Habit That Set Him Apart

Undefeated boxing champion and entrepreneur Laila Ali takes us ringside, then into the heart of what it means to belong. In this episode of Essential Habits, we uncover the deceptively simple practice...

11 Jun 202536min

Dominic Calvert-Lewin: My Story on Being Misunderstood, Judged, But Resilient (E355)

Dominic Calvert-Lewin: My Story on Being Misunderstood, Judged, But Resilient (E355)

Dominic Calvert-Lewin is a Premier League striker known for his athleticism, drive, and key role at Everton FC. But beyond the goals and headlines, he’s also faced a tough road of injuries, personal s...

9 Jun 20251h 20min

Chris Voss: The FBI’s #1 Negotiator on Winning Without Saying a Word

Chris Voss: The FBI’s #1 Negotiator on Winning Without Saying a Word

In this episode, we revisit a powerful conversation with Chris Voss, former FBI lead hostage negotiator and bestselling author of Never Split the Difference.In this insightful discussion with Jake and...

6 Jun 202556min

John Legend: Beyond the Headlines of Miscarriage, Kanye West Fallout & the Hidden Cost of Stardom (E354)

John Legend: Beyond the Headlines of Miscarriage, Kanye West Fallout & the Hidden Cost of Stardom (E354)

John Legend is a singer, songwriter, and producer known for his soulful voice, emotional depth, and ability to cross genres with ease. With multiple Grammy Awards, an EGOT to his name, and a career th...

2 Jun 20251h 6min

Populært innen Helse

lydartikler-fra-aftenposten
fastlegen
hvordan-har-du-det-mann
rss-gukild-johaug
psykodrama
relasjonspodden-med-dora-thorhallsdottir-kjersti-idem
rss-garne-damer
leger-om-livet
foreldreradet
bak-fasaden-en-reise-i-livet-med-sykepleier-ine
morten-ramm-lar-kakla-ga-til-du-sovner
hormonelle-frida
hjernesterk
rss-sunn-okonomi
g-punktet
rss-lopedrommen
klimaks
sinnsyn
helsetipspodden
rss-lavterskel