Why You’ve Lost Desire in Your Relationship (And How to Get It Back) l ft. Esther Perel

Why You’ve Lost Desire in Your Relationship (And How to Get It Back) l ft. Esther Perel

Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!:https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ In this episode of Sex with Emily, world-renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel joins us for an intimate conversation about the complexities of modern love, desire, and relationships. From her groundbreaking work on infidelity to her insights on maintaining passion in long-term partnerships, Esther shares the wisdom that has helped millions navigate the tension between security and excitement in love. We explore Esther's core philosophy that desire is not something you have—it's something you cultivate. She breaks down the fundamental paradox of modern relationships: love seeks closeness and security, while desire craves space, novelty, and mystery. We discuss how to integrate these opposing forces and why the question "Can you want what you already have?" is central to sustaining passion over time. Esther reveals why eroticism is truly a state of mind, how pleasure connects directly to self-worth, and her revolutionary perspective on infidelity—that sometimes people don't go elsewhere to find another person, but to find another version of themselves. We also dive into her new card game "Where Should We Begin," designed to foster vulnerability and deep connection through storytelling. This conversation addresses the unrealistic expectations we place on one partner to be our everything, practical tools for managing relationship anxiety, and why modern love requires us to calibrate rather than abandon our expectations. Whether you're single, coupled, or somewhere in between, Esther's insights offer a roadmap for creating more authentic, passionate connections. Timestamps 0:00 - Introduction 2:45 - The evolution from duty to desire 8:02 - Can we experience desire and deep love simultaneously? 11:20 - "I turn myself off when..." vs "I turn myself on when..." 16:00 - Pleasure vs. performance 19:09 - The ice cream exercise 25:52 - One person can't be everything 31:14 - Understanding infidelity 35:10 - Playing the relationship game 44:00 - Dealing with anxiety in love

Episoder(1522)

SWE: Single for the holidays

SWE: Single for the holidays

Free Friday: Emily talks about being single over the holidays, why you should make a dating and/or relationship resolution for the new year, special tips, sexy wishes and happy holidays to all our listeners! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

23 Des 201126min

SWE: The One

SWE: The One

Emily explores the notion of ‘the one” and if it really exists. Emily thinks that there isn’t one, but a few. People come into your life for different reasons and fulfill different desires and purposes. However, the idea that there is one person out there, who will complete you and make everything better, is perhaps more pervasive than ever. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

21 Des 201137min

SWE - Orgasmic Headache

SWE - Orgasmic Headache

Emily gets a call from her friend about an orgasmic headache and Menace shares his “pre-gaming” ritual to prevent premature anything. Also, men who know how to talk to women, Jane Fonda’s secret for sex over 70, and how safe sex practices can’t be made safer with superglue. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

16 Des 201136min

Episode 356 - Friends With Benefits

Episode 356 - Friends With Benefits

Emily talks about the best way to tell someone you're not interested in dating anymore, crazy stalker ex-boyfriends, taking Viagra recreationally, sacrificial blowjobs, kegel exercises for men and women and what really are the benefits in having a “Friends With Benefits” relationship? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

13 Des 201133min

Episode 355 - Sex Geeks and Freaks

Episode 355 - Sex Geeks and Freaks

Emily goes on a date with her crush from the fifth grade in Michigan. Self-proclaimed “Sex Geek and polyamorous slut” Reid Mihalko talks about how to deal with jealousy in a polyamorous relationship. He invites Emily to instruct a kissing workshop with him, which means they have to make-out. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

12 Des 201156min

Flirt

Flirt

Emily is going on an OM-ing retreat and her dog is ruining her life, who should initiate sexting?, getting hit on by lesbians, nipple play for men, oral sex in the cockpit of a plane, how Emily gets out of traffic tickets, sleeping with your gym trainer, kegel exercises during sex, watching porn with your guy friends or your partner, cooking with semen, men not able to orgasm from sex, advice for virgins, the top ten signs she is flirting with you, tips for flirting with her and the biggest mistakes you can make when approaching a woman. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

8 Des 20111h

Episode 351 - Ginger Lovin'

Episode 351 - Ginger Lovin'

Emily wants all the foot fetish men out there to buy her expensive shoes and Menace wants to cuddle a lot during the holidays. Emily's assistant explains why “ginger” sex is better than other kinds of sex and how she randomly got in a relationship after dedicating herself to single life. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

6 Des 201130min

Episode 350 - Playing Games

Episode 350 - Playing Games

Emily does yoga acrobatics on a first date and Menace wants to have sex in his new car. Emily gives advice on how to increase and enhance the intimacy in your relationship. Also, have you ever dumped someone before the holidays so you didn’t have to buy them a present? Also, getting with the girl next door, making love vs. having sex, sex games, and what it feels like to have an orgasm. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

5 Des 201137min

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