The Narcissist, The “Let Them” Theory, And Internal Family Systems

It’s time to take ownership of our happiness. It took me a long time to realise that to feel happy and to love myself was completely my responsibility. We cannot and should not look externally for others to make ourselves feel worthy. It’s a hard realisation, but it can immediately change your outlook on the world and bring happiness to you, as you’re no longer waiting around for something to change, you can make the change immediately.  What you will learn in this episode: Why self-reliance is so important and how to find love inside yourself. The power of self-love and self-worth during our ongoing healing journey. How to re-parent our inner child. In this episode, I’ll share how I discovered this realisation of self-worth and how you can integrate the mindset of inner happiness into your healing journey. There will be days when you feel bad and won’t want to do anything, but your reaction to those days is how you heal. Instead of letting those days put you into a downward spiral, use them as a day to reflect and understand that to have more positive days, it’s your responsibility to make a change. If nothing changes, nothing changes. Podcast Resources: Join my free personal Telegram Channel Community for more personal healing and support: https://t.me/narcissisticabusehealing Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

5 Des 202318min

The medical diagnosis of narcissists is wrong and it’s time to re-envision narcissism. In this episode, I talk about rethinking narcissism beyond its usual stereotypes and the standard medical view of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I look at how misdiagnosis is common and why the medical industry's approach needs to change. I'll also explain why it's rare for narcissists to seek help and how they often go unnoticed by healthcare professionals.  What you will learn in this episode: Why the medical industry's diagnosis of narcissism is wrong. The reasons a narcissist will never look to be diagnosed. How we can re-think narcissism and look at the backstory that caused the narcissist to be the person they are today. Instead of just labelling behaviours, I believe in understanding the deeper trauma behind narcissism. In this episode, I’ll introduce you to how I use the Internal Family Systems model to see how a narcissist's past shapes their personality. This approach helps us understand why narcissists struggle to recognize their behaviour as harmful, emphasizing the need for a compassionate, trauma-focused way of dealing with narcissism. Podcast Resources: Join my free personal Telegram Channel Community for more personal healing and support https://t.me/narcissisticabusehealing Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

28 Nov 202324min

Childhood experiences, like lack of praise or excessive attention, often shape codependent behaviours. These patterns can attract relationships with narcissists. In this episode, we'll explore the roots of codependency, its connection to seeking love in unhealthy ways, and ways to heal from both narcissistic relationships and codependent tendencies. What you will learn in this episode: Understanding Codependency: A deep dive into the nature and characteristics of codependent behaviour. Roots of Codependency: Exploring the underlying factors that lead individuals to develop codependent tendencies. Pathways to Healing: Strategies for overcoming codependency and recovering from relationships with narcissists. In this episode, I'll open up about how my childhood experiences shaped my codependent behaviours, ultimately leading me into a relationship with a narcissist. I'll guide you through identifying how codependency became a part of your life because by uncovering and understanding the root causes, we can start ourselves on our journey of healing." Podcast Resources: Black Friday 75%: Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://carolinestrawson.com/black-friday FREE Masterclass: Navigating The Narcissist In The Holidays https://carolinestrawson.com/holiday-masterclass Join my free personal Telegram Channel Community for more personal healing and support https://t.me/narcissisticabusehealing Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

21 Nov 202317min

From withholding money to asking you to sign your name onto debt, financial abuse can come in so many different shapes and sizes, and the impact it can have on your life can be truly horrific. Unfortunately, so many people suffer from financial abuse, and oftentimes they don’t even know it. In this episode, I’m going to help you see the signs of financial abuse and how you can get yourself out of the abuse and build your own financial backing.   What you will learn in this episode: The different types of financial abuse Red flags you should look for to see if you’re being financially abused How to set yourself up with your own personal finances I didn’t even realise I was being financially abused until after I left my narcissistic husband. It can be such a covert way of control and by the time you realise you are being financially abused, it can appear there’s no way to leave the relationship or set yourself up for a better life. However, I’m here to provide you with the resources to get out of this situation and become financially independent in a safe way.   Podcast Resources: Come and join my FREE Navigating The Narcissist In The Holidays Masterclass https://carolinestrawson.com/holiday-masterclass Join my free personal Telegram Channel Community for more personal healing and support https://t.me/narcissisticabusehealing Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

14 Nov 202322min

It's often said that we are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with. This concept takes on profound significance when you're recovering from narcissistic abuse. In this episode, I'll take you through a look at my social circle during my struggle with my narcissistic husband's abuse. I'll reveal how certain friends hindered my healing, while others became pillars of strength, propelling me towards where I am today. What you will learn in this episode: Why your community is so important to your healing How to navigate conversations about narcissism with your friends Where to find a supportive community if you don’t have one Your community isn’t just who you see in person, it’s everything you consume online. So I want to make sure that you structure your in-person and online communities in a way that will support your healing, and if you unfortunately have to remove people from your life, I’ll share how you can do that in the easiest way possible.  Podcast Resources: Join my Free Telegram Community Channel https://t.me/narcissisticabusehealing Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

7 Nov 202316min

WARNING: In this episode, we discuss hard hitting trauma so please be aware and make sure you are grounded listening to it. If you do relate to anything, please reach out to the relevant authorities.  We discuss: Childhood abuse Sexual assault Addiction Suicide Prison Domestic and narcissistic abuse I recently had the privilege of interviewing Natalie Russell, a remarkable participant from ITV1's "My Mum, Your Dad." Her story is both powerful and inspiring. While the episode delves deep, I believe it offers valuable insights, reminding us that it's never too late to find hope. What you will learn in this episode: How to heal the root cause and not mask the symptoms Ways to get out of a victim mindset and raise your self-esteem How to heal the relationship you have with yourself Natalie is now a commited relationship coach where she helps women increase their self-esteem, and helps them heal so that they can learn to live their best life and love again. I hope Natalie’s story helps you understand that healing is possible and that your best life is still ahead of you. Connect with Natalie here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamnatalierussell/?hl=en Website: https://www.natalierussell.uk/ TikTok: https://tr.ee/z0wwsfKbXX Retreats: https://www.natalierussell.uk/retreats Podcast Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

31 Okt 202352min

In a narcissistic relationship, it's common to blame ourselves for the problems instead of the narcissist. Discovering your partner's infidelity often intensifies this self-blame, making you think, "It's my fault." I'm here to affirm that you are enough, and you should hold your partner accountable for their actions. It's time to reclaim your power and begin the journey to heal from this abusive relationship. That's the focus of this episode. What you will learn in this episode: How narcissists gaslight you to believe it’s your fault for them cheating. Why you musn’t blame yourself for anything the narcissist does. How narcissists cheat to get more control over you. I'll share my personal experience of discovering my husband's infidelity and how he wrongly made me believe it was my fault. I've since realized it wasn't my fault, and I wish I hadn't blamed myself back then. In this episode, I want to emphasize that everything the narcissist does is not your fault. You have the strength to navigate this challenging period and start the journey to remove the narcissist from your life. Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

24 Okt 202316min

You work hard on your fitness and nutrition, but it can be frustrating when the weight just won't come off. Many people can relate to this struggle, especially those who've faced narcissistic abuse. In this episode, I'll share why losing weight has been tough and how I managed to shed the pounds gained during that difficult time, and how you can too. What you will learn in this episode: How to get your metabolism back on track through reverse dieting. Why our body clings onto fat when we’ve suffered narcissistic abuse. What you must do if diets and working out just don’t work for you. I'll talk about my current eating habits and how years of on-and-off dieting have brought me to a place where simply eating less and exercising more isn't enough. I'll explain why it's necessary to reverse diet and gradually restore my metabolism to a state where it's ready to shed the weight gained during the abuse. I want you to understand that it's possible to lose those pounds and feel satisfied with your body's appearance. Though it might take time, the journey is worth it. Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

17 Okt 202328min