The Narcissist, The “Let Them” Theory, And Internal Family Systems

Many times, we wish for the moment when we can confront a narcissist, blaming them for everything, and find the courage to break free from their influence. But what really occurs on that day? In this episode, I'll explore the steps to safely leave a narcissist. We'll delve into recognizing the signs when they realize you're onto them and how they usually react in such a scenario. What you will learn in this episode: How a narcissist uses a trauma bond to ensure you never leave, and how to break this. Why we become addicted to a narcissistic relationship. What you can do to safely leave a narcissist. In this episode, we'll explore the concept of the abuse cycle and how our bodies can become addicted to a relationship with a narcissist on a deep level. We'll also delve into the challenge of breaking free from such a relationship. I'll share my personal experience when my husband discovered I knew about their infidelity and how their behavior shifted dramatically. My aim is to provide you with insights to safely exit a narcissistic relationship and start your healing journey from the trauma it may have caused. Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

10 Okt 202319min

Do you ever notice that whenever there's a special event in your life, like Christmas, a birthday, or an anniversary, there's always someone who seems to spoil the celebration? This behaviour is often associated with narcissism. In this episode, I’ll explore why narcissists often disrupt special occasions, how to identify the warning signs, and I’ll share tips on how to navigate these moments. What you will learn in this episode: How narcissists attempt to spoil special occasions. Preparing yourself to cope with such behaviour. Understanding why narcissists choose special occasions for their abusive actions. This individual might not only be your partner; it could be a family member like a father, mother, brother, or sister. Their presence can make special events challenging. Therefore, my goal for this episode is to assist you in handling these significant occasions and upcoming holidays with a clear plan of action. Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

3 Okt 202315min

How To Heal After Narcissistic Abuse FREE Masterclass: Sunday 1st October 8pm UK time/3pm EDT/12pm PDT: https://carolinestrawson.com/healing-masterclass My approach to defining what a narcissist is differs from the mainstream healthcare definition, I’m going to explain why. When I had a narcissist in my life, they behaved very differently in the public eye compared to how they behaved behind closed doors. They could easily fool anyone into thinking that they weren’t a narcissist, which is why the clinical diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder is problematic. What you will learn in this episode: Why the clinical diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder is wrong What a healthcare professional looks for when diagnosing a narcissist Who you can go to for validation that a person in your life is a narcissist  In this episode, I'll discuss my current perspective on narcissism, shedding light on the factors that have shaped my approach and I'll explore how my experiences have led me to adopt this particular viewpoint. Additionally, I'll offer my thoughts on ways in which the clinical diagnosis of narcissism could undergo enhancements for a more accurate and nuanced understanding. Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

26 Sep 202320min

The most difficult topics to discuss are often the most harmful. That's why I've created this episode to provide a safe space for talking about how sex and pornography can harm relationships, especially when dealing with narcissistic individuals. In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Doug Weiss, and together we'll cover topics ranging from porn addiction to what he terms "intimacy anorexia," as well as how narcissists use sex to abuse their partners.  What you will learn in this episode: How narcissists use sex and porn to abuse their partners What you can do to find safe intimacy after leaving a narcissist Why porn addiction and narcissism go hand in hand  Dr. Doug Weiss is the President of the American Association for Sexual Addiction Therapy. He is also the Executive Director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Heart to Heart Counseling Center is dedicated to 'healing the brokenhearted' and focuses on sexual addiction, intimacy anorexia, sexless marriages, partner betrayal trauma, and various related areas. They offer virtual counselling and coaching services for these concerns and have assisted numerous individuals and couples in their journey to recovery. Connect with Dr. Douglas Weiss www.drdougweiss.com www.facebook.com/drdougweiss www.facebook.com/hearttoheartcounselingcenter www.instagram.com/drdougweiss www.twitter.com/drdougweiss Resources: Join the VIP Waitlist for my Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic-waitlist Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

19 Sep 202344min

Many of us who've experienced narcissistic abuse often blame ourselves and carry the shame. But it's important to understand that we're not at fault. We need to find healthy ways to release our anger and heal from our abusive past. In this episode, I'll share my story of overcoming shame and finding healing, and I'll show you how you can do the same. What you will learn in this episode: How to overcome our abusive past and heal our inner thoughts Why we often blame ourselves instead of the abuser How holding onto shame and guilt can lead to chronic illness Have you ever wondered, "Why did I stay so long?" or thought, "How could I have been so foolish?" These self-blaming questions often arise when we've been through abuse, but it's important to remember that the blame lies with the abuser, not us. It's natural to feel responsible as a way to protect ourselves from future harm, but we must acknowledge that we're not to blame. To begin healing from narcissistic abuse, we need to let go of the anger from our past. Resources: Join the VIP Waitlist for my Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic-waitlist Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

12 Sep 202318min

Have you ever heard your partner say, "Don't worry, I'll handle everything and put it in my name," or "Just let me know if you need anything"? While these phrases might seem like generosity, they can actually be signs of financial abuse. In this episode, I’ll explore covert financial abuse and how narcissists use it to gain control, leaving you with little financial independence and making it hard to leave the relationship. But fear not, I'll guide you on reclaiming your financial independence and safely exiting the relationship. What you will learn in this episode: How narcissists hide their control behind generosity. Why so many people suffer from covert financial abuse without noticing.  How to become financially independent and safely leave a narcissist.  I’ll share a story about a woman I once helped. She left her partner after enduring years of financial abuse, where nothing, not even her phone number, was in her name. She couldn't even get a phone in her own name due to her lack of credit history, as everything financial was tied to her partner. Tune in to discover how you can regain control of your finances and prevent a situation like this. It's important to know that healing from this form of narcissistic abuse is possible. Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

5 Sep 202313min

Have you ever taken a moment to reflect on how you treat yourself? It might feel uneasy, as we often treat ourselves worse than we would treat others. Imagine treating someone else the way you treat yourself – it would likely disturb you. But there's a way to improve this. In this episode, I'm discussing the topic of self-care. I admit I neglected self-care after my divorce, but now I've made it a vital part of my life. Because without self-care, true healing becomes difficult. What you will learn in this episode: What self care looks like and what you can do to make time for yourself. How to find time for yourself even if you’re a mother with children or have a hectic work schedule. A holistic approach to healing to ensure we’re physically, emotionally and psychologically healthy. I'll talk about my own self-care routine and share tips for incorporating it into your schedule. Whether it's just 5 minutes of solitude or treating yourself occasionally, these small acts can greatly aid in recovering from your past. Let's agree to make a pact – a promise to each other – that we'll prioritize self-care and extend the same kindness to ourselves as we do to our loved ones. Resources: Join the VIP Waitlist for my Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic-waitlist Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

29 Aug 202316min

Incorrect diagnoses lead to incorrect treatments. This worries me because I often see individuals who've endured narcissistic abuse being wrongly labelled with Borderline Personality Disorder. In this episode, I'll talk about how experts diagnose personality disorders and explain why there's a frequent mix-up, causing those with Complex PTSD to be misdiagnosed. What you will learn in this episode: Why Complex PTSD looks like Borderline Personality Disorder What traits a doctor will look for when diagnosing personality disorders How to ensure you’re treatment is addressing the right underlying reasons We need to get curious about what you’re going through. Remember, trauma doesn't have to define your life forever. However, if misdiagnosed, you might receive the wrong treatment. I'll explain why misdiagnoses happen and offer insights on how to guide your healing journey towards the right path. Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

22 Aug 202325min