The Narcissist, The “Let Them” Theory, And Internal Family Systems

I can remember being homeless, in debt and struggling with PTSD, anxiety and depression like it was yesterday. If you had told me that I’d be where I am today back in 2013, I wouldn’t have believed you, but I’m living proof that we cannot only survive narcissistic abuse but can thrive after it. So in this episode, I’m going to share with you my reflections on how I got to where I am today and show you that anything is possible.  What you will learn in this episode: How I went from being homeless and in debt to where I am today The one thing you can do to get the ball rolling on your healing An inside look into what I teach in my trainings Make sure you listen to the whole episode as I share some very exciting news about how my teaching is about to become a proper qualification, making it the first officially qualified program that teaches narcissistic trauma informed coaching. If you’re interested, you can join the VIP Waitlist for my Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification here: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic-waitlist Resources: Join the VIP Waitlist for my Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic-waitlist Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

15 Aug 202326min

Celebrities, just like regular people, sometimes face abusive relationships with narcissists. In this episode, I'll explore how these high-profile individuals cope with such challenges and heal from their emotional wounds. Drawing from my experience working with celebrities, I'll share valuable insights into their coping mechanisms and the lessons we can all learn from their experiences. What you will learn in this episode: Why abusive relationships don’t end when the abuse first starts The impact fame and money has on individuals suffering abuse How celebrities tend to mask their pain instead of heal I'll explore the reasons behind celebrities' struggles with alcohol or drug abuse, as well as the common tendency among all of us, including celebrities, to seek ways to mask our pain instead of addressing it directly. It's crucial to remember that we can't fully understand someone else's experiences, so we should avoid passing judgment on their relationships. However, we can draw valuable lessons from high-profile abusive relationships to aid in our own healing journeys. Let's focus on using these insights to facilitate personal growth and healing. Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

8 Aug 202316min

Time alone is not enough to heal narcissistic abuse. While it might hide some wounds temporarily, triggers can still cause intense emotional turmoil. In this episode, I'll guide you through the process of healing your inner wounds, enabling your nervous system to handle future triggers and recover from past trauma. What your going to hear may sound harsh and difficult to hear, but trust me, if you fully embrace this episode, your ability to heal from narcissistic abuse will have never been more clear. What you will learn in this episode: Methods to become more intentional in your healing The most powerful tool to healing from narcissistic abuse How to grow out of codependency  If you want to deeply heal, you need to be intentional about it, as time does not heal narcissistic abuse. In this episode, I’m going to ask you what are you doing to intentionally heal yourself, as I don’t want you to do what I did  and sit around for four years waiting for someone to make your life better. The biggest gift that you can give to yourself is to work on yourself intentionally and this is truly the secret to healing yourself. Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

1 Aug 202314min

It’s the summer holidays! In this episode, I want to help those of you with children, as school breaks can often bring about challenges in their behavior. Children may react strongly to narcissistic individuals, leading to increased dysregulation when they are with you. During school holidays, your children might end up spending time with a narcissistic person. To ensure their well-being, I'll guide you through effective preparations and steps you can take to protect your children. We'll focus on safeguarding their nervous system and addressing any potential trauma responses they may have. What you will learn in this episode: Why your children behave badly around you. What causes trauma responses and how a childs nervous system functions. The five items to calm your childs five senses. When your children spend time with a narcissist, they might come back feeling agitated or scared, leading to bad behavior. But don't worry, I have a simple and fun solution to help them release these feelings. This project is not only enjoyable for the start of the school break but also very helpful for when they experience their trauma response.  Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

25 Jul 202314min

Have you ever heard your narcissistic partner say, "You can have money whenever you want, just ask"? Unfortunately, many narcissists use money as a tool to control their partners, and it's easy to fall into this trap. In this episode, I'll talk about financial abuse, early warning signs in a relationship, and how you can heal from this and achieve financial independence. What you will learn in this episode: How narcissists use money as a tool to control and abuse. What you can do to avoid and heal from financial abuse. How to create a safe exit strategy from your abusive partner.  Did you know that 99% of people in abusive relationships also face financial abuse? Narcissists use this tactic to gain control by limiting your access to money, seizing assets, and pressuring you to quit your job. I didn't realize I was going through financial abuse until I became pregnant and became entirely dependent on my husband. Listen carefully because I want you to know that, no matter how tough your situation seems, there are ways to break free. This episode will guide you on creating a safe exit strategy from your abusive partner. Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

18 Jul 202323min

Do you ever feel stuck in your healing journey, despite your sincere efforts to return to the person you were before encountering a narcissist? It's a common situation where we believe we're making progress, only to be overcome by anger and experience sudden outbursts that seem to set us back in our healing process. This cycle, known as the trauma response cycle, can be overcome. In this episode, I'll guide you on completing this cycle, enabling you to move forward in your healing and reach new levels of progress. What you will learn in this episode: Why we get stuck in our healing, even when we want to get better. What sudden bursts of anger mean and why they are good for you. How to discharge our anger in a healthy way.  Let me introduce you to The Traffic Lights of Tolerance. When we're healing, we often go through the flight, fight, and freeze responses. If we're stuck in freeze, it can be challenging to transition to flight without going through the fight stage first. Think of these stages as the red, yellow, and green lights of a traffic light. Just like you can't go from red to green directly, you have to pass through yellow first. I'll guide you through the traffic lights of tolerance, explaining what to expect at each stage. This way, you can understand why you're experiencing unpleasant emotions and facing uncomfortable situations during your healing journey. Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

11 Jul 202312min

As a mother of two teenagers, I frequently contemplate their ability to navigate relationships and recognize potential warning signs. In this episode, I aim to empower teenagers by highlighting 10 crucial red flags they should be aware of in relationships. By recognizing these signs, they can identify when a relationship may not be healthy and possibly avoid becoming involved with a narcissistic partner. What you will learn in this episode: How to discuss what a healthy relationship is with a teenager What behaviours should act as a warning sign to leave a relationship How a teenager can build self-confidence and trust their instinct  If we had access to this information during our own teenage years, we might have been able to evade the damaging presence of a narcissist or, at the very least, recognize the need for help sooner. My desire is to impart these invaluable lessons to the next generation, bringing an end to the cycle of trauma and promoting safer dating experiences for teenagers. Together, we can equip our youth with the tools they need to navigate healthy relationships and thrive emotionally… and don’t forget, these red flags are red flags in any relationship, at any age.  Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

4 Jul 202317min

Introversion, anxiety, empathy… these definitely aren’t behaviours we think of when we picture a narcissist, but they are the traits that the hardest to spot narcissists have. Let me introduce you to the covert narcissist. The covert narcissist can fly under the radar until it’s too late, and I want to share with you 10 signs that someone may be a covert narcissist to help you steer clear of them, whether they’re your current partner, a potential partner, a friend or even a family member. What you will learn in this episode: The traits of the common covert narcissist  How the covert narcissist differs from the overt narcissist Why the covert narcissist is often the most dangerous  We often associate grandiosity, extraversion, confidence, and a 'look-at-me' attitude with narcissism. While it's important to note that not everyone displaying these traits is a narcissist, they serve as warning signs that help us avoid falling for another narcissist. However, it's crucial to recognize that not all narcissists fit the same mold. The covert narcissist, in particular, poses the greatest danger because they don't exhibit the stereotypical narcissistic behaviour. This makes it much easier to unknowingly fall into their trap. Podcast Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse   Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

27 Jun 202315min