It’s Not Communication You Need, it’s Connection – with Guest John Howard (178)

It’s Not Communication You Need, it’s Connection – with Guest John Howard (178)

We often focus on being understood through words, but guess what? Words emerge from several deeper processes and can confuse, disconnect, and even unintentionally fabricate what’s going on. Learn what works and what doesn’t when trying to build closeness and connection with those you love. Tune in for this week’s episode as co-host Sue Marriott and John Howard discuss the power of tuning in under the words, widening our awareness of emotional communication, mindfulness and spirituality in secure functioning relationships.

When we are connected on a neurobiological level, it opens the door for the other “fancier stuff” such as parenting, sex, travel, intellectual interests, romance, and money management.

“The experience of being in a relationship is an existential one. It’s a spiritual event in people’s lives.” About John Howard

John Howard is an internationally recognized therapist, wellness expert, and educator who uses the latest science to help couples have stronger relationships. He is the host of The John Howard Show, a wellness podcast, and the creator of the Ready Set Love® series of online programs for couples. John is a Cuban American whose first language is Spanish and thus prioritizes diversity and inclusion, drawing on multicultural influences from years of traveling and studying indigenous traditions. He has presented on the neuroscience of couples therapy at leading conferences and developed a couples and family therapy curriculum for the Dell Medical School in Austin. In 2019, he developed Presence Therapy®, an integrative mind-body approach to couples therapy taught to psychotherapists worldwide. John is also the CEO of PRESENCE, a wellness center in Austin dedicated to helping you achieve optimal physical, mental, and relationship health.

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Episode Time Stamps

1:38 – Psychobiological Approach to Couple’s Therapy (PACT) principles

5:59 – How to read the interaction as a whole

15:08 – How does this methodology apply to consensually non-monogamous relationships?

18:17 – Key aspects of John’s new book, “More Than Words”

21:22 – What your brain is really looking for in connections

31:28 – Explanation of “inviting care” into relationships

Resources

John Howard’s Website

Ready Set Love – Online Couple’s Course

Ready Set Love – Podcast

Austin In Connection – Non-Profit

Presence Therapy Website

The PACT Institute Website

John Howard’s Book, February 2022

Relevant Therapist Uncensored Episodes

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu12-if-its-not-good-for-you-its-not-good-for-us-interview-with-relationship-expert-stan-tatkin/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu121-the-purpose-of-relationships-redefined-during-quarantine-with-stan-tatkin/

Click Here to View Episode Transcripts

Episoder(290)

TU98: Dive Deeper into a Model of Attachment Science (the DMM) by Ann Kelley & Sue Marriott

TU98: Dive Deeper into a Model of Attachment Science (the DMM) by Ann Kelley & Sue Marriott

Dive deeper into this new (to us) model of interpreting attachment science and discover how to apply it into your daily life. Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP and Ann Kelley PhD have fun breaking down the last ...

13 Jun 201926min

TU97: The Dynamic Maturational Model (DMM) of Attachment With Guest Patricia Crittenden (Part 2)

TU97: The Dynamic Maturational Model (DMM) of Attachment With Guest Patricia Crittenden (Part 2)

Note: This episode is Part 2 of 2. It stands alone, but to start at Part 1 click HERE.   “So which strategy in this model is best? Every behavioral strategy is the right strategy for some problem, but...

29 Mai 201956min

TU96: Treating Attachment & Self-Protective Strategies With Guest Patricia Crittenden(Part 1)

TU96: Treating Attachment & Self-Protective Strategies With Guest Patricia Crittenden(Part 1)

Treating Attachment & Self-Protective Strategies “If it protects you, it’s the right strategy.” – Dr Patricia Crittenden, creator of the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment & Adaptation (DMM) usi...

15 Mai 201941min

TU95: Oxytocin & Dogs (& Pets in General) as Attachment Figures

TU95: Oxytocin & Dogs (& Pets in General) as Attachment Figures

Oxytocin and dogs! Our pet relationships provide a trust and bonding boost, and is the natural love drug our bodies make at key relational moments such as child-birth, nursing, orgasm and falling in l...

1 Mai 201933min

TU94: The Science of Self-Regulation – Breaking Down Polyvagal Theory

TU94: The Science of Self-Regulation – Breaking Down Polyvagal Theory

17 Apr 201930min

TU93: Polyvagal Theory in Action – The Practice of Body Regulation With Dr Stephen Porges

TU93: Polyvagal Theory in Action – The Practice of Body Regulation With Dr Stephen Porges

10 Apr 201959min

TU92: Understanding Addiction and Attachment-Informed Treatment With Guests Brad Kennedy & Vanessa Kennedy

TU92: Understanding Addiction and Attachment-Informed Treatment With Guests Brad Kennedy & Vanessa Kennedy

15 Mar 20191h 14min

TU91: Curiosity – One of the Most Powerful Tools For Connection

TU91: Curiosity – One of the Most Powerful Tools For Connection

1 Mar 201939min

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