The Covert Narcissism Podcast21 Jul 2025

Shame vs Self: The Invisible Wound Behind Narcissistic Traits, guest Dr. Anthony Mazzella

Part one of a 4 part series on Guilt and Shame with guest, Dr. Anthony Mazzella, Psychotherapist & Host of The Narcissism Decoder Podcast

What if the root of so much emotional pain, self-sabotage, and confusion isn’t who you are—but what you've carried?

In this powerful first episode of a two-part series, Renee is joined by Dr. Anthony Mazzella to explore how shame, not arrogance or ego, often sits at the center of narcissistic traits—both in ourselves and in the people who have hurt us.

Together, they unpack:

What shame really is—and how it’s different from guilt
How shame starts in early childhood through misattunement, rejection, or humiliation
The invisible ways shame shapes identity, emotions, and behavior
How narcissistic defenses like projection, withdrawal, and perfectionism are fueled by shame
Why people-pleasing is often a mask for hidden shame
How religious, cultural, or family systems can unknowingly create shame-based beliefs

Shame isn’t just an emotion—it becomes a lens through which we see ourselves and the world. It’s not something we feel—it’s something we become. And unless we learn how to name it, it quietly dictates how we love, hide, lash out, or shut down.

Whether you’ve lived with a covert narcissist or find yourself stuck in patterns you don’t fully understand, this episode will help you name the invisible wound behind it all—and take the first step toward healing.

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