Family of Origin: Navigating Difficult Family Dynamics in Adulthood

In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah dives into the complex layers of family dynamics, personal boundaries, and healing from past experiences. You'll learn how the dynamics within your family of origin created the roles you had to play, how those roles shape your adult relationships, and how to begin breaking free from those roles to step into your most fully-expressed self.

Through personal insights and therapeutic wisdom, Sarah discusses why our family of origin often triggers or activates us the most—and why we often see our caregivers as an extension of ourselves. If you’ve ever dreaded going home or struggle to set boundaries with your family, this episode will equip you with the somatic tools necessary to release the pain of the past and move forward with more ease.

Episode Highlights:

00:00 Introduction

00:15 Why We Struggle with Our Family of Origin

12:57 Becoming the Primary Parent to Your Parts

22:45 Access Healthy Aggression

27:41 Finding Belonging Through Chosen Family

30:58 Differentiating From Our Caregivers

37:37 Creating Safety & Setting Boundaries

49:40 Processing Recent Traumatic Experiences

56:58 Healing From Abuse

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Important Keywords:

Family of Origin – The family system you were born into or raised in that shaped how you relate to others, your sense of belonging, and your identity. This dynamic then informs the way you show up in your adult life.

Boundaries – Boundaries are not a cognitive process but a somatic one that is informed by our internal truth, limits, and needs. We are all born with an innate ability to know our internal truth, but many of us become disconnected from that truth as a result of trauma.

Somatic Healing - Somatic healing focuses on addressing trauma and stress stored in the body, rather than just the mind. It involves practices that help release trapped activation/energy, regulate the nervous system, complete the incomplete response to trauma of the past, and reconnect with the physical self. Techniques like movement, touch, and breathwork are commonly used to support this healing process.

Healthy Aggression - A term coined by Peter Levine, this is our lifeforce energy, which is needed to set boundaries, protect oneself, and assert personal needs. It’s also the energy that allows us to experience full aliveness, connection, wonder, and awe. When suppressed, it can lead to unresolved anger, resentment, and even physical symptoms, but when expressed appropriately, it helps complete past emotional responses.