39: Overcoming the "Do I Deserve This?" Question

The Gender Gap in Self-Worth: A Psychologist's Perspective

• "Do I deserve this?"
• "I don't know if I deserve this?"

These brought me to the question: "Do men wonder if they deserve their success?"

Women, it's not your fault.

After speaking with hundreds of women over the past week, I found that this question came up repeatedly.

Here's what feeling undeserving looks like:

• Not asking for higher compensation for work

• Giving more, potentially to the point of overwork and burnout

• Not applying for the promotion

• Working more to compensate for the thoughts that we're undeserving

The thing is, this all leads us to feel overworked, overwhelmed, and burned out.

When these thoughts come up, notice what you feel in your body.

• Where do you feel it?

• Is it a tightness in your chest?

• Do your shoulders creep up towards your ears?

Next, identify the emotion coming up.

Look, when we achieve more than we ever dreamed, our self-concept—our sense of who we believe ourselves to be and what we deserve—needs to evolve.

And often, we lack a frame of reference for this new level of achievement.

I'm exploring this question of deservingness today. Here's what you'll discover:

• Many women, especially leaders, struggle with the feeling that they don't deserve their successes.

• How feelings of unworthiness often lead to self-sabotage—such as not asking for a raise, working long hours, or avoiding career advancement.

• Societal conditioning and traditional gender roles contribute to women's difficulty in defining their worth, especially in professional settings.

• To overcome these feelings of deservedness, it's crucial to redefine our self-concept and imagine who we want to be.

• How to develop grounded confidence by knowing your worth without hustling for it.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction to the Overwhelm Care Podcast

00:20 Women Asking, "Do I Deserve This?"

01:30 Gender Differences in Self-Worth

02:39 The Impact of Self-Sabotage

03:56 Identifying and Understanding Self-Worth

07:29 Redefining Self-Concept for Women

12:39 Imagining Your Future Self

16:05 Embracing Success and Self-Worth

21:56 Wrap Up and Contact Information

Connect with me:

• Sign up for the next Dare To Lead Workshop

• Schedule a free 20-minute consultation

• Connect on LinkedIn

• Connect on Facebook

• Connect on Instagram