"That wasn't my intention!" The Difference Between Arguing For Intent vs Understanding Impact: Episode 262

"That wasn't my intention!" The Difference Between Arguing For Intent vs Understanding Impact: Episode 262

Have you ever tried to validate your position during an argument by saying "Oh but that wasn't my intention"? Have you noticed how that doesn't help at all? At least in that moment, because it is not the right time. It shows the need to understand the big difference between intent and impact.

In this episode you will hear about how intention doesn't matter in these moments and the more you fight for explaining it, the further down you will go into conflict. You will hear how to switch into acknowledging impact, which is the most important, and only thing, to do when your partner has emotion present.

Resources For Your Relationship:

Join our LIVE FREE WebClass on Nov. 3rd, 2022 - Fight Smarter: Prevent Unnecessary Arguments, Deescalate Emotional Triggers, and Repiar Faster as a Couple.

If that date has already passed then watch the replay WebClass on: The 5 Steps to Fully Repair After an Argument So You Reconnect in Minutes (Instead of Hours, Days, Weeks). Pick a time to watch it here.

Episoder(438)

Stop Reacting and Start Responding (How to Take Control of Your Emotions in Marriage): Episode 406

Stop Reacting and Start Responding (How to Take Control of Your Emotions in Marriage): Episode 406

You want to feel peace, love, and connection—especially in your marriage. But when something disrupts that inner calm, it's easy to slip into old patterns: snapping, shutting down, blaming. Sound fami...

22 Jul 202519min

Why Labeling Your Spouse is More Damaging Than You Think: Episode 405

Why Labeling Your Spouse is More Damaging Than You Think: Episode 405

Every couple has conflict. But when disagreements turn into labeling your spouse—with words like "selfish," "dramatic," or "narcissist"—it doesn't just hurt in the moment… it chips away at emotional s...

15 Jul 202517min

Stop Tip-Toeing Around Each Other's Triggers (How to Create Real Emotional Safety in Marriage): Episode 404

Stop Tip-Toeing Around Each Other's Triggers (How to Create Real Emotional Safety in Marriage): Episode 404

You don't just marry your partner's strengths—you marry their triggers too. If you've found yourself walking on eggshells to avoid setting them off… or shutting down because you feel like you're too m...

8 Jul 202529min

What Marriage Challenges Are 'Normal' and What's Not Okay: Episode 403

What Marriage Challenges Are 'Normal' and What's Not Okay: Episode 403

Just because something is common in marriage doesn't mean it's healthy. We've heard countless couples ask: "Is this just a hard season… or is something actually wrong?" "Are we still okay, even though...

1 Jul 202548min

Your Brain's Default Settings Could Be Sabotaging Your Marriage (How Neuroscience Reveals Your Blocks) with John Assaraf: Episode 402

Your Brain's Default Settings Could Be Sabotaging Your Marriage (How Neuroscience Reveals Your Blocks) with John Assaraf: Episode 402

Why is it so hard to change the way we show up in marriage, even when we know what we want to do differently? In this special episode, we sit down with John Assaraf, a renowned global leader in succes...

26 Jun 202549min

Double Standards in Marriage: When It Feels Like the Rules Are Different for You: Episode 401

Double Standards in Marriage: When It Feels Like the Rules Are Different for You: Episode 401

Few things create more frustration in a marriage than the feeling of a double standard—when it seems like the rules are different for you than for your partner. Whether it's around emotional regulatio...

24 Jun 202513min

Types of Boundaries You Must Establish to Protect Your Marriage: Episode 400

Types of Boundaries You Must Establish to Protect Your Marriage: Episode 400

You want your marriage to feel like a place of joy, momentum, and shared purpose—not just survival mode. Just like in any great sport, the most fulfilling performance only happens inside clear, agreed...

17 Jun 202528min

What is Co-Regulation and How to Do It Effectively (So You Don't Dysregulate Each Other): Episode 399

What is Co-Regulation and How to Do It Effectively (So You Don't Dysregulate Each Other): Episode 399

Your emotional state doesn't just affect you—it affects your partner, too. In fact, if you don't learn how to co-regulate, you'll unintentionally become each other's stressor instead of each other's s...

10 Jun 202535min

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