We Choose Our Responses & They Define Our Lived Experience w/ Yale Director of Emotional Intelligence Marc Brackett

We spend our childhood being labeled as to who we are. Then we continue into adulthood thinking of ourselves as who we are, like we are a fixed object. And yet when we look back to ourselves five or ten or 15 years ago, we often hardly recognize or remember that person. We have this concept of finding and figuring ourselves out. Anything that is growing, changes. While there may be some continuity in how you look and how you tend to think, who you are today will be incredibly different in the years to come. Understanding this helps you be more adaptive to change and have more openness in your existence.  Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. kmiller@kevinmiller.co.  Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial. Sign up for AromaTru's Insider Club and today you'll receive a FREE Waterless Oil Diffuser and a FREE lemon eucalyptus oil - that's over $200 in savings. Head to aromatruorganics.com/kevin to take advantage of this exclusive offer.   Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Get 20% off any AquaTru purifier today! Visit AquaTru.com and enter code "KEVIN" at checkout. Go to Quince.com/drives for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29 Aug 202412min

This show is called What Drives You. My book is called What Drives You. Because what drives you becomes your life. If we’re not getting what we want out of life, we are unaware of what is really driving us. Happiness, for instance. As a podcast host I am inundated with self-improvement books and personalities. There have been more books with “happiness” in the title than I can count in recent years. Why? It sells. We all think we just want to be happy. But I don’t see our cultural decisions supporting this and feel it’s an errant goal. I find what we want even more than happiness is security. But even more than that, is meaning. To help us consider this, let’s look at the jobs we choose and the movies we watch. Getting more clear on what you’re really driven to achieve will help you achieve it and will showcase why your current efforts may not be producing the success you expect. Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. kmiller@kevinmiller.co. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial. Sign up for AromaTru's Insider Club and today you'll receive a FREE Waterless Oil Diffuser and a FREE lemon eucalyptus oil - that's over $200 in savings. Head to aromatruorganics.com/kevin to take advantage of this exclusive offer.   Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Get 20% off any AquaTru purifier today! Visit AquaTru.com and enter code "KEVIN" at checkout. Go to Quince.com/drives for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

28 Aug 202411min

Have you ever struggled with feeling a twinge of guilt for your desire to continually grow and change? Wondering if you should just feel content and grateful for where you are and it’s selfish to desire and want more? Especially if you are mainly surrounded by others who seem to just be ok with things as they are? I’m actually not going to justify and make a case to help you feel better. But I will ask some questions and give you some reframing to think about. Such as, do you grow because you are discontent with who you are and what you have now? Or is changing and evolving just part of your natural DNA? Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial. Sign up for AromaTru's Insider Club and today you'll receive a FREE Waterless Oil Diffuser and a FREE lemon eucalyptus oil - that's over $200 in savings. Head to aromatruorganics.com/kevin to take advantage of this exclusive offer.   Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Get 20% off any AquaTru purifier today! Visit AquaTru.com and enter code "KEVIN" at checkout. Go to Quince.com/drives for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Aug 202411min

I hear from more and more people who just enjoy the journey of personal growth. They almost feel guilty about it, especially if they are mostly around others who seem content to just maintain life. They wonder why they have this insatiable appetite for more insight about themselves and life. Of course, I resonate with them. Over the past years I’ve realized that what I value most is not going after any specific goals, but just always having a goal to go after. My experience is most goals we achieve are anti-climactic if we think they alone will finally satisfy us. And again, I’m brought back to realizing what gives me the most fulfillment is having goals to go after, every day, all the time, so that…I enjoy the daily journey of life. It’s the overall hope of discovering some new insight about myself or life that I can apply and find joy in. And then continue the next day on the same path to a new, inspiring destination. I wanted to talk more about it and invited my best friend, Randy James, to join me. Randy is a medical doctor and Functional Medicine expert who you can find at truelifemedicine.com. What drew me to him 15 years ago, I now realize, was how we resonated in a desire to pursue personal growth. Randy is insatiable with new information and always excited to talk about a new idea and concept. Though not just for the sake of the idea. He’s excited about a new insight he can apply to his own life or the life of a patient, his family, or his friends. Like me. Following is our conversation about this concept of growth and the joy in the growth, even more than the goal. Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. kmiller@kevinmiller.co.  Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial. Sign up for AromaTru's Insider Club and today you'll receive a FREE Waterless Oil Diffuser and a FREE lemon eucalyptus oil - that's over $200 in savings. Head to aromatruorganics.com/kevin to take advantage of this exclusive offer.   Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Get 20% off any AquaTru purifier today! Visit AquaTru.com and enter code "KEVIN" at checkout. Go to Quince.com/drives for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

26 Aug 20241h 12min

The focus of this episode is twofold. One is to look at how you are driven to show appreciation to people. How you show love and your motives behind your efforts. The other is some ideas for helping drive people to you. My muse is gift giving. The very concept has a lot of baggage around it. A lot of shoulds and expectations. Our focus here is using gift giving as a tool in your work, but we hit on the personal side as well. This is a message that forever changed my ideas on gift giving, and this conversation was actually recorded a few years ago. My guest is John Ruhlin. John is younger than I am. He has younger kids. And a few weeks ago I got word that on a family vacation, he collapsed, and was never revived. He died. In the wake of his death I saw the outpouring of people whose lives he impacted with his message of gift giving in love, and the heart behind it, and how it benefits us. John was devoted to helping people increase and expand their relationships, with radical generosity. He viewed gift giving as a form of love and was an incredibly influential leader in this space. That’s what people felt from John. Love. It was authentic, and he had specific tactics to spread it. That’s the conversation you are about to hear. So…in memory of John Ruhlin, and in honor of the love I know you want to spread in your own world, let’s drive together for a bit to discuss The Art Of Gift Giving & How To Be Memorable. Find Johns offerings at thegiversedge.com Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. kmiller@kevinmiller.co. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial. Sign up for AromaTru's Insider Club and today you'll receive a FREE Waterless Oil Diffuser and a FREE lemon eucalyptus oil - that's over $200 in savings. Head to aromatruorganics.com/kevin to take advantage of this exclusive offer.   Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Get 20% off any AquaTru purifier today! Visit AquaTru.com and enter code "KEVIN" at checkout. Go to Quince.com/drives for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

23 Aug 202455min

I’ve admittedly put my focus on the work we do on the actual product and service we help deliver. No matter what you do, at the end of the rope is a product or service that is sold. To find fulfillment in your work, my experience is that it’s of utmost importance that you resonate with and support that end product or service. Or…is it? I find it hard to justify not having respect for what you help provide. But I also see how important your work environment is and your actual role. Which is more important? As I think about myself, I can almost make an argument that the environment and tasks are more important. Drive with me a moment to ponder this. Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. kmiller@kevinmiller.co. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial. Sign up for AromaTru's Insider Club and today you'll receive a FREE Waterless Oil Diffuser and a FREE lemon eucalyptus oil - that's over $200 in savings. Head to aromatruorganics.com/kevin to take advantage of this exclusive offer.   Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Get 20% off any AquaTru purifier today! Visit AquaTru.com and enter code "KEVIN" at checkout. Go to Quince.com/drives for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Aug 202413min

Yes, I’m talking about the TV series. With my family life I don’t get to see a lot of TV, but I really like a good story that moves me. And I like Kevin Costner as an actor. So I watched the original Yellowstone series. It was hard at first, I didn’t like any characters. But then it drew me in. So now I’ve watched the prequels, 1883 and 1923, and really appreciate them. 1883 has some beautiful character stories in my opinion. The last episode of this podcast was with Dr. Tessa West, who is a Professor of Psychology at New York University and her new book is, Job Therapy: Finding Work That Works For You. We talked about the feelings around work and how it’s in many ways a more devoted marriage than with our spouse. Looking at work, I’m concerned that in the tech and AI age of 2024, we are still stuck in a work mentality from 1883 where we just go slog it out to hunt and gather and look at work and our life as a chore. And it deprives us of the spark in our life that can light us up. If we look at work as a necessary evil, we’ll make decisions to create that reality. If we look at work as having evolved from mere hunting and gathering to also what we get to contribute to the world, we create that reality. Drive with me a moment to look at reframing what you expect from your work. Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. kmiller@kevinmiller.co. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial. Sign up for AromaTru's Insider Club and today you'll receive a FREE Waterless Oil Diffuser and a FREE lemon eucalyptus oil - that's over $200 in savings. Head to aromatruorganics.com/kevin to take advantage of this exclusive offer.   Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Get 20% off any AquaTru purifier today! Visit AquaTru.com and enter code "KEVIN" at checkout. Go to Quince.com/drives for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

21 Aug 202413min

We are all going to work. For most of our lives. We applaud people for their anniversaries. “Oh, you’ve been married for 10 years, congratulations.” Or the big celebration you have for a couple who has been married for 50 years! Well, most of us will work for nearly 50 years. I had my first consistent job at about 13, started my first business at 15, and my intent is to live till I’m 90 and work till then. That would put me at 75 years of working. You will also spend more time with your work than your spouse if you don’t include sleeping. So in essence, the greatest marriage of your life will be your work. What kind of relationship will you have with this primary spouse? My guest is Dr. Tessa West, who is a Professor of Psychology at New York University where she is a leading expert on the science of social relationships. She has over 100 academic publications and is a regular contributor to the Wall Street Journal. Her work has been covered by Scientific American, the New York Times, Financial Times, The Guardian, CNN, CNBC, ABC World News, TIME, Bloomberg, HBR, Fast Company, and the US Supreme Court. Her first book was Jerks at Work and now she’s published a book titled, Job Therapy: Finding Work That Works For You. In the book she posits the comparison between our work and a marriage. She says at the core we have deep, intimate feelings about our work and it is a primary ingredient in our self image and overall drive for life. This is where I dug in with Tessa. With all the focus on the topic of work I’ve had, I’ve never really gone down the trail of looking to our feelings and emotions and core relationship with it. This conversation will forever change how I view my relationship with my work. Find Tessa at tessawestauthor.com  Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. kmiller@kevinmiller.co.  Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to sign up for your FREE 60-day trial. Sign up for AromaTru's Insider Club and today you'll receive a FREE Waterless Oil Diffuser and a FREE lemon eucalyptus oil - that's over $200 in savings. Head to aromatruorganics.com/kevin to take advantage of this exclusive offer.   Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/kevin Get 20% off any AquaTru purifier today! Visit AquaTru.com and enter code "KEVIN" at checkout. Go to Quince.com/drives for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply in minutes at meetfabric.com/WHATDRIVESYOU. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 Aug 20241h 22min