We Choose Our Responses & They Define Our Lived Experience w/ Yale Director of Emotional Intelligence Marc Brackett

When you don’t really like your job or a person you’re in relationship with, the negative thoughts unconsciously affect your actions and behaviors and you end up sabotaging things and you make everything worse. Friends, this is a primary culprit in your efforts to be fit and well. This is my Functional Friday episode where we focus on our health and wellness so we have the physical and mental capacity to help ourselves and others…and I want you to think about these words; Food. Dieting. Exercise. When you read or hear those words, what feelings arise? Excitement or dread? Pride or shame? Guilt? We find so many people desiring to improve their health, get fit, and lose weight, but there are often negative feelings about these very things that sabotage their efforts. This show is about being aware and getting them on the table, so to speak. Not to eradicate them however. As you’ll hear in the show, often these feelings have roots back in childhood our young adulthood and they run deep. Maybe you can truly overcome and erase them. But we believe more immediate overcoming can be had by figuring out how to manage the negative feelings and move beyond them even as they still exist. Thus awareness and management is our primary objective. As Functional Medicine is a root issue methodology, this topic is foundational to your journey to wellness. I’m joined by my Functional Friday co-host, Randy James, Medical Doctor and Functional Medicine expert. The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Jan 202351min

Our recent episode series was regarding the longest scientific study ever on happiness, which showcased that our greatest source of happiness comes from relationships. Yet our greatest struggles are often in relationships, so that is where we are going now. If you are in relationship with anyone, you likely have some, or a lot of unhealth in the relationship. So I’ve brought an expert. A year and a half ago I had Nedra Glover Tawwab on the show for her book, Set Boundaries, Find Peace. This was a look internally at ourselves and shoring ourselves up for good relationships. Now Nedra has a brand new book, Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships. We dig deep into the relational issues that we all tend to just settle for and expect we have to endure long-term. Or we allow to actually destroy a relationship. Nedra Glover Tawwab is a New York Times best-selling author, licensed therapist, and sought-after relationship expert. She has practiced relationship therapy for 15 years and is the founder and owner of the group therapy practice, Kaleidoscope Counseling. Her expertise is in helping people create healthy relationships by teaching them how to implement boundaries. Her philosophy is that a lack of boundaries and assertiveness underlie most relationship issues, and her gift is helping people create healthy relationships with themselves and others. This is why I had her on the show, boundaries and relational assertiveness have never really existed in me. Nedra has appeared as an expert on Red Table Talk, The Breakfast Club, Good Morning America, and CBS Morning Show and her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, The Guardian, and Vice. When I had her on the show 1.5 years ago she had 500k followers on Instagram. Today she has ove 1.6M who are tuning in for her relational counsel. I’m honored to have had her back for a long journey into the hard relational issues we seldom reconcile. This is a hopeful episode. A note, after the 1 hour mark we get into some sensitive topics I don’t think you’ll want to miss. The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Jan 20231h 27min

The results of the longest scientific study on happiness showed us the primary source for our happiness, today and over our life, is relationships. Obviously not the bad and toxic relationships, but the good, healthy and fulfilling ones. Which of course then begs the big question of what makes a good, healthy, and fulfilling relationship? This is part three on Robert Waldinger and a peer discussion on the study he shares in his book, The Good Life. My co-host is Tom Ziglar. Tom is CEO of Ziglar and son of Zig Ziglar, the legend who inspired us that all we do is second to the relationships we have. Opening this discussion on the topic of what makes good relationships and Tom said, trust. I’d ask you to think of your best relationships and consider the level of trust, but in truth, the concept may be more apparent when I ask you to think of your most strained relationships and ask if trust is at the root of the issue? I suspect you’ll find it is. So for us then, a key understanding is what does and does not create trust in relationships? What you’ll find out is there are many thing we unknowingly do and don’t do that erode our trust with others and create relational downfalls. Listen in to get informed. Find Robert Waldinger’s book, The Good Life, anywhere you get books. The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

16 Jan 20231h 1min

Stress is depicted as the devil of our time. Everyone is stressed out and suffering from too much stress and the thing we want most as a culture is less stress. Our levels of anxiety are at an all time high as if it was a wartime scenario and the pathological manifestations continue to skyrocket. The thing is, however, stress itself isn’t a bad thing. It’s the body’s appropriate response to pressure and tension. The stress of working out and exercise is desperately needed by our bodies. It’s what makes us stronger and/or helps us maintain our strength so we don’t atrophy. But we stress our muscles and lungs, then recover. We can’t stay in a constant state of stress. Mentally is no different. When we are stressed mentally it’s not necessarily a bad thing. In a moment of crisis or challenge it’s the body’s way of dealing with the issue. And then, we need to recover. And there are often times when we are in a state of stress that in health, we should actually be a good bit more calm about. This is my Functional Friday episode where we focus on our health and wellness so we have the physical and mental capacity to help ourselves and others…and I’m with Randy James, Medical Doctor and Functional Medicine expert, to discuss the good and bad of stress. The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Jan 20231h 11min

My recent show with Dr Robert Waldinger focused on the world’s longest scientific study of happiness. If you heard part 1 in episode 1095, you heard the results are…relationships. So it’s no surprise when I ask Bob what his relational values are, that he cites as a priority…his own social fitness. This is my Values, Motives & Habits show and I walk with Bob through the key aspects of his life. Bob is professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development at Massachusetts General Hospital. His TED titled, “What makes a good life?” has over 43 million views and I highly recommend you check it out. We talk about the role spirituality played in people's happiness, including his own. He's been married for 36 years and we discuss quantity vs quality time together. For health and wellness Bob strives to follow Neal Maxwell's guidance of "Never giving up what you want most for what you want today," though we share a strong inclination toward dark chocolate that he moderates to keep his weight where he wants it. He does share that taking care of one's health is one of the two predictors of happiness. He addresses his mental state by meditating and is actual a Zen master and teaches meditation all over the world. He admittedly enjoys his work and is involved in a lot and works a bit more than he should. Regarding finances he views money as neutral after basic needs are met, but regarding the study on happiness cites that having money often gives people a feeling of freedom. I asked Bob about his personal interests and pursuits and he framed the question around what he does to create energy for himself, which I love and am adopting for the show from now on. He shared that he loves talking about interesting ideas and brainstorming, we discussed the concept of flow, and he recently started taking singing and Spanish lessons. Bob’s co-authored book, The Good Life: Lessons From the World’s Longest Scientific Study on Happiness, has just been released. Find it wherever you get your books, and connect with Bob at robertwaldinger.com. The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

11 Jan 20231h 3min

Nothing sells more these days than the hope and promise of happiness. We are desperate for happiness because apparently we’re not finding it enough. We look for it in our money, possessions, entertainment and experiences. Now I bring you, literally the world’s longest study on…happiness. And the solution to our need is not surprising. The root of our happiness is…relationships. That’s it. After 80 years of studying generations of people, what gives us the most happiness is relationships. Which is a simple answer, but not an easy one. Many of our relationships bring us more trauma, and stress, and sadness than happiness. So what’s the real story? My guest is Robert Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School who is director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development at Massachusetts General Hospital which conducted this study. If you aren’t aware of Bob, you may have come across his TED talk, titled, “What makes a good life?” which has over over 43 million views. Bob is also cofounder of the Lifespan Research Foundation. He received his AB from Harvard College and his MD from Harvard Medical School and is a practicing psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, and he directs a psychotherapy teaching program for Harvard psychiatry residents. Bob is also a Zen master (Roshi) and teaches meditation in New England and around the world. From this study, Robert has now co-authored the book, The Good Life: Lessons From the World’s Longest Scientific Study on Happiness, which is being released the day after this episode goes live. Find The Good Life wherever you get your books, and you’re about to hear us discuss the highlights on what provides happiness that were most profound to me. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

9 Jan 20231h 24min

The focus of this show is increasing fertility. Fertility is a growing issue just as so many others. When there are systemic pathologies within us, they can manifest in many ways. Fertility is one. And a quick note, if pregnancy is not a current area of interest for you, please consider passing this on to anyone you know who is trying to get or stay pregnant. They need to hear this. This is my Functional Friday episode where we focus on our health and wellness so we have the physical and mental capacity to help ourselves and others. I’m with my co-host, Randy James, Medical Doctor and Functional Medicine expert, and we began the show talking about infertility, but getting pregnant is step one, then just as important of course is staying pregnant and avoiding miscarriage and premature birth. Nearly 20% of couples are not able to conceive and another 10-20% miscarry. Then about 10% have premature births. Folks, that’s nearly 50% of all couples who will experience significant difficulty ending up with a full term, healthy baby. This show is paramount regarding pregnancy. As you’ll hear, we stumble into an issue that astounds me regarding what causes our bodies to say “No!” to getting and staying pregnant. This is news you will seldom hear regarding the subject. The Self-Helpful podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Jan 20231h 9min

With every guest I have on this Self-Helpful podcast, I ask them about their personal Values, Motives, and Habits in the key areas of life, following the seven spokes in the Ziglar Wheel of Life. In this show I bring my key co-hosts back to talk through our highlights in each spoke for the year. Tom Ziglar, CEO of Ziglar Inc and son of legendary motivator Zig Ziglar, and Randy James, Medical Doctor and Functional Medicine expert, are with me and we all share our highlight learnings, ponderings, and resources in the seven spokes, which include Spiritual, Relational, Health & Wellness, Mindset, Career, Money & Personal Interests. For the three of us, our daily vocations are almost exclusively investigating and leading others in self-help. Tom works with many executives and coaches, Randy works with patients, and I work with you, my Self-Helpful audience, and select individuals I coach. But here I turn the tables on us. What did we most pursue and grapple with, and what resources did we utilize, which include people, books, and more. The Self-Help(ful) podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches to help leaders and top performers excel professionally and personally. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

4 Jan 20231h 47min