123. How (And When) To Start Talking About Sex w/ Vanessa and Xander Marin

123. How (And When) To Start Talking About Sex w/ Vanessa and Xander Marin

In this episode, you’ll hear from a sex therapist and her husband, Vanessa and Xander Marin! We talk about when to bring up sex in early dating, what to do if you don’t feel a “spark,” and you'll get specific tips for navigating other sex-related conversations. You’ll hear about how Vanessa and Xander help clients talk to their partners about sex and their interests and tips for taking responsibility for your own pleasure. At the end, we get into what has become a huge topic in recent years: mental load and how it can negatively affect your sex life.


Follow Vanessa and Xander on IG: https://www.instagram.com/vanessaandxander/


Visit Vanessa and Xander’s website: https://vmtherapy.com/


Submit a dating dilemma: https://forms.gle/xCmAWvDPGJdr3rFz9


Slide into my DMs on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dating.intentionally/


Follow on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dating.intentionally


Get my free dating FAQ guide: https://datingintentionally.myflodesk.com/free-guides


Read more on the blog: https://intentionally.dating/blog-posts/


Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dating.Intentionally


Rate on Apple: https://t.ly/JJgpP


About Vanessa and Xander: Vanessa is a licensed psychotherapist with 20 years of experience in the sex therapy field, and Xander is a regular dude who’s here to show you that you don’t need a graduate degree or license to have extraordinary intimacy. Together, they wrote Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, which is an NYT best seller, and they host the podcast, Pillow Talks, available on all platforms.

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Episoder(261)

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186. Signs It's Time For A Dating Break & How To Do It (Without Getting FOMO)

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185. Breaking Free From Codependency and Building Self-Trust w/ Caroline Winkler

185. Breaking Free From Codependency and Building Self-Trust w/ Caroline Winkler

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184. Chasing vs Pursuing: When To Show Interest (And When To Move On)

184. Chasing vs Pursuing: When To Show Interest (And When To Move On)

In this episode, I’m breaking down the difference between healthy pursuit and unhealthy chasing in dating, because yes, there’s a big difference. I share personal stories of times I chased and was cha...

15 Jul 202530min

183. What to Wear on Dates: Confidence-Boosting Style Tips w/ Cassandra Sethi

183. What to Wear on Dates: Confidence-Boosting Style Tips w/ Cassandra Sethi

What you wear on a date matters, but not how you might think! In this episode, I’m joined by professional stylist Cassandra Sethi, founder of Next Level Wardrobe, to talk about how to dress with confi...

8 Jul 202552min

182. Sparks vs Chemistry: How To Build Chemistry & Stop Chasing Instant Attraction (throwback)

182. Sparks vs Chemistry: How To Build Chemistry & Stop Chasing Instant Attraction (throwback)

In this throwback episode, I’m breaking down the difference between sparks, chemistry, and compatibility and why chasing the spark can actually hurt your dating life. We’ll talk about what the spark r...

1 Jul 202518min

5 Lessons About Dating & Money From "Materialists" (Bonus Ep!)

5 Lessons About Dating & Money From "Materialists" (Bonus Ep!)

In this bonus episode, I'm sharing my thoughts on the new movie, "Materialists." I'm breaking down what this film says about love, money, capitalism and dating for the long term, and what it got righ...

27 Jun 202520min

181. Modern Meet Cutes: How & Where Folks Are Meeting IRL (Listener Stories)

181. Modern Meet Cutes: How & Where Folks Are Meeting IRL (Listener Stories)

In this episode, I’m diving into the magic of the real-life meet-cute (yes, it still happens)! You'll hear voice notes from listeners sharing stories about how they met people off the apps, plus my ow...

24 Jun 202542min

180. Dating A Friend Without "Ruining It" &  Friendship Advice w/ Anna Goldfarb

180. Dating A Friend Without "Ruining It" & Friendship Advice w/ Anna Goldfarb

Ever fallen for a friend? Struggled to balance dating and maintaining your closest connections? In this episode of Dating Intentionally, I’m joined by friendship expert and journalist Anna Goldfarb, a...

17 Jun 20251h

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