123. How (And When) To Start Talking About Sex w/ Vanessa and Xander Marin

123. How (And When) To Start Talking About Sex w/ Vanessa and Xander Marin

In this episode, you’ll hear from a sex therapist and her husband, Vanessa and Xander Marin! We talk about when to bring up sex in early dating, what to do if you don’t feel a “spark,” and you'll get specific tips for navigating other sex-related conversations. You’ll hear about how Vanessa and Xander help clients talk to their partners about sex and their interests and tips for taking responsibility for your own pleasure. At the end, we get into what has become a huge topic in recent years: mental load and how it can negatively affect your sex life.


Follow Vanessa and Xander on IG: https://www.instagram.com/vanessaandxander/


Visit Vanessa and Xander’s website: https://vmtherapy.com/


Submit a dating dilemma: https://forms.gle/xCmAWvDPGJdr3rFz9


Slide into my DMs on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dating.intentionally/


Follow on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dating.intentionally


Get my free dating FAQ guide: https://datingintentionally.myflodesk.com/free-guides


Read more on the blog: https://intentionally.dating/blog-posts/


Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dating.Intentionally


Rate on Apple: https://t.ly/JJgpP


About Vanessa and Xander: Vanessa is a licensed psychotherapist with 20 years of experience in the sex therapy field, and Xander is a regular dude who’s here to show you that you don’t need a graduate degree or license to have extraordinary intimacy. Together, they wrote Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, which is an NYT best seller, and they host the podcast, Pillow Talks, available on all platforms.

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Episoder(261)

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199. How to Date Like a Love Coach w/ Shaun Galanos

199. How to Date Like a Love Coach w/ Shaun Galanos

In this episode, I sit down with Shaun Galanos (@thelovedrive) to discuss what it truly means to bring playfulness and honesty to dating. We dive into why dating actually gets better as you get older ...

30 Sep 202548min

198. When They Start Pulling Away Suddenly + 3 More Dating Dilemmas

198. When They Start Pulling Away Suddenly + 3 More Dating Dilemmas

In this episode, I’m answering four of your real-life dating dilemmas! We’re talking about what to do when someone says they need to “find themselves” before committing, how to build emotional connect...

26 Sep 202531min

197. Tips For Dating Outside Of Your Type Without Settling (throwback)

197. Tips For Dating Outside Of Your Type Without Settling (throwback)

In this episode, I’m sharing all my tips for dating outside your type! You’re going to hear what it means to have a “type”, success stories from other listeners about how they dated outside their type...

23 Sep 202532min

196. The Psychology of Mixed Signals and How to Stop Obsessing

196. The Psychology of Mixed Signals and How to Stop Obsessing

In this episode, I talk about one of the most frustrating parts of modern dating: mixed signals. I break down why people send mixed signals, why they can feel so addicting (even when we know better), ...

19 Sep 202529min

195. Second Date or Move On? How to Decide Who To Keep Seeing

195. Second Date or Move On? How to Decide Who To Keep Seeing

Have you ever walked away from a date wondering if you should give it another shot or just move on? In this episode, I’m breaking down a simple three-part framework to help you decide whether to keep ...

16 Sep 202514min

Comparing Notes Pt. 2:  Milestones at 6 Months in a New Relationship w/ Ali Jackson

Comparing Notes Pt. 2: Milestones at 6 Months in a New Relationship w/ Ali Jackson

In this second installment of Comparing Notes, I sit down with Ali Jackson, host of Finding Mr. Height, to talk about what often comes up around the six-month mark in a relationship. We get into the r...

12 Sep 20251h 19min

194. Ethical Non-Monogamy Explained w/ Claire Perelman

194. Ethical Non-Monogamy Explained w/ Claire Perelman

Ok, but what does ENM really mean? In this episode, I talk with Claire Perelman, a sex therapist, about what ethical non-monogamy (ENM) actually is (and isn't). We talk about different types of ENM (p...

9 Sep 202544min

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