How to Become Psychologically Flexible (from two formerly rigid people)
Join Forrest and Dr. Rick, two “reformed rigid people,” as they explore how to become more psychologically flexible. Just as physical flexibility is the amount of stretch in our muscles, the ability they have to bend without breaking, psychological flexibility is the same quality in our minds. It enables us to approach situations from new perspectives, be open to our emotions, let go of old versions of ourselves, and step into new ways of being. In this episode, they discuss the concept of rigidity as a form of psychological defense and explore the motivations behind it. They also delve into the trap of assumptions and limiting beliefs, the importance of releasing attachments, and the benefits of embracing new ways of thinking. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:35: Choice, and the tradeoff between flexibility and speed 2:55: Rigidity, agency, and flexibility in relationship 7:50: Behavioral vs. psychological choices 10:30: The dock and the river, and self-protection 15:40: Inflexibility as a means to an end 17:30 Tools to inquire into your rigidities 20:50: When others’ behavior isn’t about you 23:20: Assumptions and limiting beliefs 27:35: Willingness to change, and comfort in feeling change 34:10: Releasing attachment to your ‘place’ 39:50: Understanding the function of your rigidity 41:35: Over-identification with goals and accomplishments 44:40: Stepping into the river 45:20: Recap Rumination Workshop from Rick! Join Rick on April 22nd for a 1-day, live online workshop where you'll learn how to identify rumination when it comes up and get out of negative cycles in your head compassionately and effectively. Use coupon code BeingWell20 for 20% off! Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
27 Mar 202352min
Complex PTSD and Learning to Live With the Past with Stephanie Foo
Author Stephanie Foo joins Forrest to share her journey with Complex PTSD. They talk about what it was like to receive a diagnosis, the various techniques and modalities she used (and what really helped), the importance of social support, self-acceptance and self-compassion, difficulties with access and cultural competence in the mental healthcare system, intergenerational trauma, and motherhood. About Our Guest: Stephanie is a writer and radio producer whose work has been featured on This American Life, 99% Invisible, and Radiolab among other shows, and she’s the author of the truly wonderful book What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing From Complex Trauma. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and disclaimer 2:10: Stephanie’s experience in sharing her story 6:00: Features of CPTSD 7:50: What led Stephanie to seek help, and work as a coping mechanism 10:15: “The Dread” and healing through relationship 17:40: The effects of receiving diagnosis, and aspects of CPTSD that are helpful 25:45: Practices that helped Stephanie and incorporating them practically 33:45: Balancing showing up for other people and receiving care 35:15: Self-love, gratitude, psychedelics, and relationships 38:20: Two way repair and comfort receiving feedback 42:55: The need for reform to our mental healthcare system and who it serves 49:55: Societal trauma among first generation immigrants 53:30: More natural and communal frameworks for healing 54:30: Parenthood 57:00: Resources available on Stephanie’s website 58:15: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
20 Mar 20231h 6min
The Unconscious Mind: How to Access, Understand, and Use It
Most of what's occurring in the mind lies outside our awareness. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick Hanson explore the unconscious mind and the material we might find there. They talk about what the unconscious mind is, the purpose of the unconscious, repression, bias, and what we can do to access, use, and release that unconscious material. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:25: What is the unconscious mind? 5:35: Why material gets moved to our unconscious mind 8:45: Freud, Jung, and repression 14:25: Looking at repression through a developmental model 18:55: Bias, relational ‘scripts’, and what we can do about unconscious patterns 21:45: Interpreting dreams, and the limits of science 27:55: Examples of repressed material and how to uncover it 30:05: Rick’s first love story 34:20: Emotional release work you can do without a therapist 38:00: Distress tolerance 42:10: The body-based, non-cognitive nature of unconscious material 44:10: Sentence completions, automatic writing, and sand trays 47:00: Building self-worth, and creating a safe container 54:50: Teaching what you need to learn, and the importance of support 57:30: Including what’s left out 1:00:00: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
13 Mar 20231h 7min
What We've Learned From 100 Experts
On the (roughly) 300th episode of Being Well, Forrest and Dr. Rick share what they’ve learned from the many experts in psychology, personal growth, and mental health they’ve talked to on the show. They explore the importance of individual context, the gap between insight and action, self-honesty and acceptance as the catalyst for change, incremental change vs. sudden breakthroughs, and the role of distress tolerance. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and two big themes 2:25: Applying generalized information to your individual context 7:50: The importance of insight and where it falls short 9:20: White light moments and the importance of action 13:25: Wants and needs 25:40: Slow and steady effort 29:35: Going to zero and the scaffolding that leads to sustained change 36:15: Distress tolerance, valuing acceptance, and what you know to be true 41:25: The three mechanisms of change 44:25: Reducing inner friction through mental training, and cultivating trust 47:50: How do you want to use your time? 49:10: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
6 Mar 202358min
Somatic Psychology: Using the Body to Heal the Mind with Elizabeth Ferreira
Somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira returns to the podcast and joins Forrest for a deep dive into somatic psychology. They explore what a somatic therapy session looks like in practice, how it differs from traditional talk therapy, the connection between the body and the mind, and why people with complex trauma are sometimes better served by body-based approaches. Elizabeth then talks about how somatic therapy has supported her own journey with CPTSD and PMDD, and shares some of the practices that have helped her clients. About our Guest: Elizabeth Ferreira is an associate therapist working in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her practice is open, and if you’d like to reach out to Elizabeth you can do so through Instagram. Elizabeth also has her own podcast, My Therapist's a Witch. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:45: What happens in a somatic therapy session? 5:00: Attunement and a quick demonstration 9:55: Moving slowly and navigating dissociative patterns 12:45: Cognitive bypassing and catharsis in letting go 15:40: Trauma and integrating alienated parts of ourselves 21:15: Elizabeth’s experience feeling anger 25:30: When the thing that brings you into therapy isn’t the root of your problem 29:00: Safety allowing comfort with feeling difficult feelings 31:40: Interoception, physical embodiment, and more on attunement 35:50: Clean and dirty pain, different parts, and appreciation 40:25: Resistance, joining with the defense, and compassion 44:50: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
27 Feb 202352min
Daddy Issues: Attachment Wounding, Dealing with Common Symptoms, and Becoming More Securely Attached
If you listen to a podcast like ours, you’re probably familiar with the phrase “daddy issues.” A more accurate way to understand daddy issues is as a form of attachment wounding, which describes situations where our adult relationships are affected by complicated, difficult, or traumatic experiences we had as a child. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick explore what daddy issues are, how they relate to attachment theory, sexism and the broader social and historical context, different forms of attachment wounding, and a simple way to understand your attachment style. They then walk through four common sets of symptoms and challenges related to attachment wounding, and what a person can do to move toward secure attachment. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:50: What are daddy issues? 6:35: Parental roles and symptoms of attachment wounding 13:35: How attachment patterns are created 19:35: Yearning for narcissistic supplies 22:10: Gendered dynamics, and the pejorative use of the phrase “daddy issues” 28:20: Claiming your power 31:15: Forming a coherent narrative, and looking for what was missing 34:50: A simple method for assessing your attachment style 41:50: Social support 44:10: Who you are to others, and meeting person to person 50:55: Situation #1: How to deal with fears of abandonment and being alone 55:00: Situation #2: “I need a lot of reassurance and external validation.” 58:10: Situation #3: Fears related to emotional vulnerability 1:05:15: Situation #4: “I keep dating the same (problematic) kind of person.” 1:10:30: Making deliberate effort 1:14:50: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
20 Feb 20231h 24min
What Addiction (and Recovery) Can Teach Us About Change with Eric Zimmer
Eric Zimmer, a behavior coach and the host of The One You Feed podcast, joins Forrest and Rick to explore what really supports us in changing our ingrained patterns of behavior through the lens of Eric’s journey with addiction and recovery. They share the key lessons from speaking with hundreds of experts, the role of insight, why some people go from insight to action and others don’t, acceptance, shame, and responsibility, and the balance between determinism and agency. About our Guest: Eric is a behavior coach, interfaith spiritual director, and host of The One You Feed, which has over 500 episodes and 25 million downloads. At 24, Eric was homeless and addicted to heroin. In the years since he’s been in recovery, built a meaningful and fulfilling life for himself, and has used the lessons from his own life to help others do the same. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:25: The parable of the two wolves 7:45: Applying our values to our own mental processes 13:00: Change as a three part process: insight, acceptance, and action 14:50: Why some people have an easier time changing than others 19:30: Continuous feedback, quick iterations, and where you rest your mind 23:00: Do we all have the same level of choice? 26:40: Shame, and differing interventions for differing levels of agency 32:40: Feeding the good wolf 40:35: How to want what’s good for us 47:10: Acceptance, responsibility, and beginner’s mind 50:10: What’s missing from the abstinence model? 52:20: Innate goodness, bumping into enlightenment, and self-compassion 1:01:50: “Devote yourself to what remains” 1:03:55: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
13 Feb 20231h 11min
Repairing with Family, Dealing with Difficult People, and Recognizing Power: Mailbag
Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners related to how we can build better relationships (particularly with our families) and deal with difficult people. They explore the common traits of happy families, how to deal with people who weaponize psychological jargon, navigating different perceptions of “what happened,” and repairing a damaged relationship with a child. Forrest ends the conversation by talking about the importance of “going to zero” after a breach of trust. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:00: Question 1: Common characteristics of happy families 8:25: Differentiation and integration 10:55: Symptoms of a less healthy family system 12:15: The role of love 19:55: Question 2: What to do when people use psychological jargon during a conflict 26:00: Defending yourself effectively, and staying on topic 30:50: Question 3: Navigating different perceptions of a difficult event 35:45: Question 4: Healing a strained relationship with a child (or parent) 39:45: Functional repair before emotional vulnerability 46:45: “Going to zero” with behavior when repair is needed 56:10: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
6 Feb 20231h 4min
