LET'S GET SEXY: Erotic Stories Deconstructed

The official mission statement of the British Police Force is: to make communities safer by upholding the law fairly and firmly; preventing crime and antisocial behaviour; keeping the peace; protecting and reassuring communities; investigating crime and bringing offenders to justice. Nothing screams this louder than sending your untrained civilian wife into the middle of a dangerous undercover mission largely because the thought of her having sex with strangers gives you an erection. Tom Whitby (or is it Willaby), you're my hero!Welcome to chapter 2 of Undercover Stripper - an erotic police drama, written by uk_writer_53 for the website Literotica.com - and feast your ear holes on the sound of my rich narrators voice describing the intimate acts of a couple on the edge (of sanity) as they balance their feuding values against an intense desire to have sex with each other. Grit your teeth, as I butcher yet more regional accents in an attempt to differentiate between the growing cast of characters who (i have decided) all have to sound different (except for Daryl... he's just basically just a deeper version of Tom).Will the couple be able to put their "non existent" plan into action and infiltrate the strip club gang, down at Sin City?TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains sex! Hurray! If you would like to help fund the podcast you can sign up for a £5 donation using the link below:https://www.patreon.com/user?u=97414688I hope you enjoy this episode of the podcast! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

14 Jan 202458min

Welcome to series 6 of the podcast! Happy new year and thanks for tuning in!Who will be revealing what in this excellent erotic police drama, written by uk_writer_53 for the website Literotica.com. In this thrilling series, Tom Whitby, a Detective Sergeant working on the gritty streets of an as yet unnamed English city (although I'm sort of assuming it's London) gets called in for a meeting with the big boss and learns that his wife Jessica is embroiled in a potentially life threatening erotic crime story. Prepare yourself for an episode which sets the scene for the next nine episodes where things are surely going to become increasingly randy and provocative.TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains no sex. Sorry...but I think there's a lot of potential for it to get very heated in later chapters, so stay tuned for the sweet titilation that I know you crave.If you would like to help fund the podcast you can sign up for a £5 donation using the link below:https://www.patreon.com/user?u=97414688I hope you enjoy this episode of the podcast! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

7 Jan 202449min

Oh Dear! Christmas is over and another January is just around the corner. Does it feel like the festivity has receded? Do you need an injection of Christmas Magic, right into your bum? Of course you do! So, step right up, drop your trousers and prepare to have your cavity filled with Christmas Eve - an erotic story written by CABONE for the website Literotica.comKrissy Kringle is the daughter of a Father Christmas, on the eve of his retirement from the big job, when he suddenly falls ill and Daughter Christmas must take up his mantle and deliver the presents to all the boys and girls. However, little does she know, her life is about to change forever when she meets the love of her life: Noelle Baum and the pair shirk away the sadness of triple manslaughter by awkwardly exploring eachothers bodies and deciding to become lesbian lovers.Are a couple who've been together for only a few hours really ready to have a child? Is an 18 year old who still lives at home with their parents in an ideal position to adopt? Does any of this matter when you have the unstoppable power of Christmas Magic at your fingertips? The answer is a resounding no!TRIGGER WARNING: This series contains sexual acts which some may find offensive. Although really, its just a bit of girl on girl...who could complain about that?!If you would like to help fund the podcast you can sign up for a £5 donation using the link below:https://www.patreon.com/user?u=97414688I hope you enjoy this episode of the podcast! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

31 Des 20231h 26min

Hoe Hoe Hoe, Moooottthheeerr Chrrrriiissstmass! Are you a lonely closeted homosexual with an unhealthy infatuation for a straight friend and not enough confidence to feel at ease with your identity? Don't worry, we've all been there! Step into the chunky shoes of overweight lesbian Suzie as she hides alone in the darkened cloakroom of a teenage house party, crying into the coats. Hear how at the tender age of 18, her life is practically already ruined forever and she might as well give up on ever being happy and weep alongside her as a strange and festive smelling older woman enters the room and locks the door behind her.Lumpy questions might reasonably surface in the tangy liquid that fills the punchbowl of your mind: Who could this woman be? What does she want?NO!Don't question it... let it happen. Give in to Mother Christmas and let her take away your pain and sorrow with her quick fingers and electric tongue in this erotic story - written by ScattySue for the website Literotica.comTRIGGER WARNING: This series contains sexual acts which some may find offensive. There are also scenes involving mild sexual assault which could be upsetting for some. It's only a very small bit at the beginning but I think its only fair to mention it!If you would like to help fund the podcast you can sign up for a £5 donation using the link below:https://www.patreon.com/user?u=97414688I hope you enjoy this episode of the podcast! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

24 Des 20231h 18min

Picture the scene: You're in the office, sat at your desk and getting deep into some meaty spreadsheets compiling the customer evaluation data of multiple annual questionnaires. You're having the time of your life. It's Rita's birthday and she's brought in a lemon drizzle; your favourite. Does it get any better than this?Suddenly the phone rings...an external call? Who could it be? For a second you are filled with dread at the prospect of a call from corporate demanding a last minute presentation to the board on the data you've been processing. You grit your teeth and bravely pick up the receiver, expecting the worst. But wait? Who's this? Not Chris from corporate. No, its your lovely wife and you can tell she's spent the entire morning in bed touching herself. Welcome to An Early Christmas Present - an erotic story written by Fairycakes for the website Literotica.com.TRIGGER WARNING: This series contains sexual acts which some may find offensive. There are also scenes involving a teacher/schoolgirl dynamic which could be upsetting for some. In addition, if you are the sort of person who hates timewasters in the workplace, you might find yourself triggered by some of the behaviour in this story!If you would like to help fund the podcast you can sign up for a £5 donation using the link below:https://www.patreon.com/user?u=97414688I hope you enjoy this episode of the podcast! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

17 Des 202332min

Happy Christmas!As a Christmas Special, I've decided to gift you 4 whole stories over the next 4 weeks - all of them Christmas themed!The first story in the series is Good King Wenceslas - A Good King With a Bad Side an erotic story written by Miss Jane for the website Literotica.com. It's a naughty festive tale about the devilish deeds of a dirty Duke (who was later rebranded as a King for the purposes of a Christmas carol). Prepare yourself for a 10th century royal romp on christmas eve that asks serious ethical questions about charity, consent and what it means to have absolute power.Have you ever wondered what you would do if you found somebody out in the cold, in need of your help? Would you cross over the road and offer assistance? Would you invite them into your home? Would you lie them gently down by the fire on a bed of blankets? Would you force them to have sex with you?TRIGGER WARNING: This series contains some graphic descriptions of sexual acts which some may find offensive. There are also scenes involving non-consentual sex and rape themes.If you would like to help fund the podcast you can sign up for a £5 donation using the link below:https://www.patreon.com/user?u=97414688I hope you enjoy this episode of the podcast! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

10 Des 20231h 9min

The conclusion of a detective story is always the most satisfying bit isn't it? This chapter of Death is a Beautiful Blonde - an erotic story written by David McAllister for the website Literotica.com - is a bumper installment which brings everything together for a dramatic and satisfying ending. However, unlike Bam Barkley, you can enjoy that satisfying ending without having to worry about the rammifications of becoming entwined in an ongoing criminal investigation or having to clean up your equipment afterwards. How many times will our pervy policeman get his end away before the story concludes? Will he still be able to preform with the pressure of the facts he's learned so far swimming around in his brain like male reproductive cells in a sensitive testicular factory? Maybe if he'd sat down with a strong cup of coffee and taken a long cold shower there's a chance he might have cracked this one sooner and avoided the precarious situation that he finds himself in! Maybe if it was a fairer world, where women weren't too afraid of prejudicial treatement by law enforcement to come forward when something horrible happens, Bam might never have become involved...P.S. Apologies for the change in audio quality halfway through, I was working with a less than ideal set up recording this episode and I'm looking into solutions for series 5TRIGGER WARNING: This series contains some graphic descriptions of sexual acts which some may find offensive. It's also unapologetically sexist as part of the gritty 1940s American setting it is parodying.I hope you enjoy this episode of the podcast! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

3 Des 202358min

Jump back into the 1940s and into the gum bottomed shoes of Detective Bam Barkley as he struggles to work out what the heck is going on against the debilitating tidal forces of his own insatiable libido in a sea of large breasted temptation. This chapter of Death is a Beautiful Blonde - an erotic story written by David McAllister for the website Literotica.com - sheds light on many of the mysterious elements of the previous two: but how much should Bam believe? Is he both literally and figuratively digging his own grave?Can Bam bring out the big guns in this chapter to blast open the secured barracks of this case? Or will his artillery shoot wide and cause civilian deaths in a nearby village? Just like the class of heavy ranged weapons that launch munitions far beyond the range and power of infantry firearms, there's no doubt that Bam's "hog" will, at the very least, breach the defensive walls and fortifications of the feminine reproductive zone.TRIGGER WARNING: This series contains some graphic descriptions of sexual acts which some may find offensive. It's also unapologetically sexist as part of the gritty 1940s American setting it is parodying.I hope you enjoy this episode of the podcast! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

26 Nov 202337min