EP62 -Undoing Sexual Shame

Welcome to episode 212 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I'm delighted to welcome Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz to the podcast. In this episode Dr. Kleinplatz talks to me about learning to be present to have more fulfilling sex, how you can learn to be more present and how this is possible for anyone to achieve.     Peggy J. Kleinplatz, Ph.D., is Professor in the Faculty of Medicine and Director of the Optimal Sexual Experiences Research Team at the University of Ottawa, Canada. Please see She is a Certified Sex Therapist and Educator.      Kleinplatz has edited four books including Sadomasochism: Powerful Pleasures with Charles Moser, Ph.D., M.D., Sexuality and Ageing (2015) with Walter Bouman, M.D. and notably New Directions in Sex Therapy: Innovations and Alternatives, winner of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counsellors and Therapists (AASECT) 2013 Book Award.     In 2015, Kleinplatz received the AASECT Professional Standard of Excellence Award. She is the author with A. Dana Menard, Ph.D. of Magnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers (2020), winner of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research Consumer Book Award for 2021.      In this episode, you will hear:     Looking at the findings of the studies Dr Kleinplatz conducted   How many people feel a poorer sex life is just a trade-off of getting older  Ways in which you can learn to fully be present during sex  The importance being present has for fulfilling sex   How did Dr Kleinplatz define what good sex is in their study?  The ways in which group therapy can help to overcome these issues  Why group therapy may work better for you rather than a one to one  Understanding that learning to be present isn’t about sexual technique  Why better sex through being present is possible for anyone to achieve      Find Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz  https://optimalsexualexperiences.com     Quiz: What Kind of Lover are You? http://www.sexologypodcast.com/lover/   Find Dr. Moali online    http://www.sexologypodcast.com    Find me on social media  https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast  https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care      Farsi Podcast  https://sexologypodcast.libsyn.com/rss      If you are interested in booking a video counselling session with Dr. Moali  https://oasis2care.com/contact-nazanin-moali-psychologist      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

12 Jan 202131min

Welcome to episode 211 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I'm delighted to welcome Michael Castleman to the podcast. In this episode Michael talks to me about male orgasms, the ways in which men can fake orgasms, contributing factors that lead to men not being able to ejaculate and we look at Michael’s new book, Sizzling Sex for Life.    Michael Castleman has been at the forefront of health, wellness, and sexuality journalism for almost 50 years. His two previous sexuality guides—Sexual Solutions (Simon & Schuster, 1991) and Great Sex (Rodale, 2004) have sold more than 600,000 copies. His 12 other books on optimal health, mainstream medicine, alternative therapies, nutrition, and fitness, have sold more than 1.5 million copies.      For the past 15 years, Castleman’s writing has focused almost exclusively on sexuality, sex research, and sex therapy. His twice-monthly blog on PsychologyToday.com, “All About Sex,” launched in 2009, attracts some 700,000 views a month—with total views topping 50 million. His free Q&A site, GreatSexGuidance.com, launched in 2010, has become one of the Internet’s most authoritative sources of personalized sex advice. For 10 years (1998-2007), he answered all the sex questions submitted to Xandria, then a major marketer of sex toys. He has also answered sex questions for WebMD, AARP.com, and several other web sites. Fort five years (1991-1995), he replied to the sex questions readers asked the Playboy “Advisor.” In total, he has answered more than 12,000 sex questions—and sometimes still gets new ones.      In addition, Castleman has published more than 2,500 newspaper, magazine, and web articles in publications including, the New York Times, LA Times, Smithsonian, Reader's Digest, Prevention, Family Circle, Redbook, Self, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Good Housekeeping, Ladies' Home Journal, Men's Health, Men's Fitness, Men's Journal, Parenting, Child, Natural Health, Mother Jones, The Nation, and Salon.com.     Castleman grew up in a Long Island suburb of New York City. He graduated Phi Beta Kappa from the University of Michigan (1972) and earned a Masters in journalism at UC Berkeley (1978). He lives in San Francisco.    In this episode, you will hear:     How common are orgasm challenges for men?   Is it easier for women to fake orgasms?   Ways in which men can fake orgasms   How some men can orgasm without ejaculating   The contributing factors that lead to men not being able to ejaculate   The need for partners to be understanding and not blame themselves  Looking at the “Delivery boy syndrome”   How are sexual desires change as we grow older and the need to adapt   How sex toys can improve sexual stimulation and sexual satisfaction   The side effects some drugs can have around this issue   Looking at Michael’s new book “Sizzling Sex for Life”         Find Michael Castleman online  https://www.mcastleman.com     Find Dr. Moali online    http://www.sexologypodcast.com    Find me on social media  https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast  https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care      101 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Hot  http://www.sexologypodcast.com/subscribe/   https://oasis2care.com/subscribe/      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

5 Jan 202132min

Welcome to episode 210 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I'm delighted to welcome Alicia & Erwan Davon to the podcast. In this episode Alicia & Erwan speak to me about extended orgasms, accessing a higher level of arousal and ways in which you can learn to have an extended orgasm.     For over 25 years Erwan who was joined by Alicia in 2003 have been working successfully with singles and couples, teaching their signature process – the Davon Method to hundreds of students in groups, retreats, and individual sessions and helping them create the relationships of their dreams.     Erwan and Alicia have a unique approach to relationship coaching that combines their educational backgrounds in psychology and aspects of Zen Buddhism to provide a holistic method to effectively improve connection with the self and others     Erwan studied psychology after a difficult childhood and an early introduction to therapeutic work. He went on to live and study in a Zen Monastery, direct a yoga ashram, and began teaching personal development at one of the world’s largest personal grown organizations. Erwan’s passion for helping and teaching people led him to found Erwan Davon Teachings in 1995, specifically to help people improve their relationships.     Alicia Davon holds a Master’s degree in Integral Psychology with a focus on women’s romantic and sensual expression. She trained as a therapist before meeting Erwan and led numerous women’s groups devoted to female pleasure and life fulfilment from career to relationship. She met Erwan 15 years ago and started teaching with him soon after.     Together, Erwan and Alicia developed The Pleasure Course, which has helped thousands achieve their ideal love lives. They provide a safe place to explore psychological inquiry, pleasure, and sexuality.     They have spent years perfecting their curriculum and techniques and are excited to share their expertise with newcomers so they can help improve chemistry, connection, communication, and passion in others’ lives!    In this episode, you will hear:     How did Alicia Davon & Erwan Davon become interested in this approach?  Learning to access a higher level of arousal   Were they easily orgasmic before they started doing this?  Ways in which you can learn to have an extended orgasm   The key differences between extended orgasm and orgasmic meditation   Understanding the need to get over internal issues rather than focusing on technique  The differences between how men and women will get to grips with extended orgasms  Learning to give yourself lots of time to be present and fully experience pleasure  How you can achieve extended orgasms via any kind of sex  Finding your own path to pleasure         S-Hande  https://www.s-hande.com/ Thank you to our sponsor S-Hande! Use the coupon code sexologypodcast for a 40% discount, also includes free delivery! To get the toys discussed on this episode, use the links below: Jiggle balls kegel exercise Vaginal tightening exercise toys G-spot orgasm toy female vibrator masturbation vibrator Sucking and licking vibrator adult vibrator vagina anal vibrator orgasm toy   Find Alicia & Erwan online  https://pleasurecourse.com     Claim Your Session  Text - 415 308 9580 and reference Sexology Podcast    Find Dr. Moali online    http://www.sexologypodcast.com    Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

29 Dec 202039min

Welcome to episode 209 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I'm delighted to welcome Dr. Yekaterina Bakhta to the podcast. In this episode Dr. Bakhta speaks with me about the issues around achieving orgasms, why some women lose their sexual drive and looking at available medicines and treatments that can improve sexual desire.    Dr. Yekaterina Bakhta is a board-certified ObGyn who provides exceptional care to women of all ages. Uniquely experienced in treating female sexual dysfunction, she cares for patients with painful intercourse, low libido and difficulty with orgasm.     Striving to perfect female beauty and function inside and out, Dr. Bakhta utilizes the newest medications, cutting edge technology and innovative surgical techniques. . She offers a variety of treatments to enhance the female form and is developing advances in cosmetic gynecology and esthetics.      Dr. Bakhta’s extensive training in minimally invasive surgical techniques include vaginal reconstruction, labioplasty, incontinence procedures as well as laparoscopic and hysteroscopic surgeries. Well respected by both colleagues and patients, she is regularly recognized and awarded for her surgical skills and patients quick post-operative recovery.     She enjoys all aspects of Obstetrics and Gynecology, including wellness, contraception, and surgery. In addition to adult gynecology, Dr. Bakhta has a special interest in adolescent gynecology and gently cares for young women.      Dr. Bakhta is a graduate of University of California Los Angeles, receiving Bachelor of Science degree with honors in Biology.  She received her Doctor of Medicine from the University of Southern California Keck School of Medicine.. Upon graduation, Dr. Bakhta was honored  by the Alpha Omega Alpha Medical Honor Society for her dedication to the medicine and her pursuit of healing knowledge.  She then completed residency training with Kaiser Permanente Los Angeles Medical Center.  She received board certification from the American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology and is an active fellow of ABOG and member of the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology. Dr. Bakhta has been named “Leading Physician of the World” by International Association of ObGyn and has been listed as the “Top Doc” in Los Angeles.     Dr. Bakhta is passionate about providing the highest level of care to her patients and empowering women to take control of their health and sexual well-being. Her patients love her for her kindness, gentle exams and sensitivity. She is very personable, and her congenial bedside manner makes it easy for patients to open up regarding sensitive subjects.      She is devoted to providing excellent care for the Los Angeles community and hopes to continue guiding her patients through the stages of their lives.    In this episode, you will hear:     Why do some women lose their sexual drive?  Understanding that courtship and affection are important for female arousal   Why context around sex is very important  How guilt can override sexual desire  Looking at the hormonal change's women go through that affect sexual desire  Natural ways you can improve your libido  Available medicines and treatments that can improve sexual desire  Understanding potential side effects of potential treatments   Looking at the issues around achieving orgasms      Find Dr. Bakhta online  http://sunsetcosmeticsurgery.com     Find Dr. Moali online    http://www.sexologypodcast.com    Find me on social media  https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast  https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care      25 Ways to Increase Desire  https://oasis2care.com/opt-in     If you are interested in booking a video counselling session with Dr. Moali  https://oasis2care.com/contact-nazanin-moali-psychologist      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

22 Dec 202038min

Welcome to episode 208 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I'm delighted to welcome Dr. Ali Mushtaq to the podcast. In this episode Ali talks to me about BDSM and social justice, incorporating spirituality into sexuality and steps you can take if you’re interested in exploring BDSM.     Dr. Mushtaq has his PhD in Sociology from University of California: San Francisco and Masters in Social and Demographic analysis from University of California: Irvine. He is Mr. Long Beach Leather 2016 and has been profiled by numerous editorials, including the New York Times.  Ali also has written several op-eds and scholarly articles that focus on race and sexuality. He is also a former college professor and has taught numerous courses that have focused on sexual identity and research methods. Currently, he is coauthoring a book on Black women AIDS activists and is on contact with Lexington Press.     Dr. Mushtaq also founded and owns Getting Wolfie LLC, which provides education related to diversity and empowerment. In addition to courses that focus on developing inclusive methods in marketing, he is also develops socially inclusive BDSM education courses that focus on sexual empowerment.    In this episode, you will hear:     How Dr. Ali became introduced and interested in BDSM  Looking at Dr. Ali’s experience of coming out   The community's reaction to Dr. Ali becoming interested in BDSM   The misconceptions that exist around BDSM  Bridging the gap between BDSM and social justice   Informing people about the history and dynamics of BDSM  Incorporating spirituality into sexuality   How communities can be more inclusive for people of different ethnicities   Steps you can take if you’re interested in exploring BDSM   Analyzing the common question of when does BDSM become abuse?  Understanding the need to frequently check in on consent         Find Ali Mushtaq online  http://www.gettingwolfie.com     Find Dr. Moali online    http://www.sexologypodcast.com    Find me on social media  https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast  https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care      Quiz: What Kind of Lover are You? http://www.sexologypodcast.com/lover/    If you are interested in booking a video counselling session with Dr. Moali  https://oasis2care.com/contact-nazanin-moali-psychologist      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

15 Dec 202039min

Welcome to episode 207 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I'm delighted to welcome Lucy Rowett to the podcast. In this episode Lucy speaks to me about reclaiming sexuality after being raised as an Evangelical Christian, learning to challenge negative sex messages and dispelling the myth that having sexual feelings is sinful.     Lucy Rowett is a sexologist and intimacy coach based in Brighton, UK. She describes herself as an Evangelical Sexologist and pleasure advocate, who is passionate about empowering women to liberate their bodies and souls from the shackles of shame. She uses a fusion of "neck up" and "neck down" approaches, combining sexology and accurate sexuality education with somatic practices, taoism, tantra, and embodiment.     As a sexpert, she has been quoted in many online publications such as Kinkly, Men's Health, Glamour, Dame, O Diaries, Oprah Magazine, Brides, Tinder Swipe Life, and The Body. She grew up in London in the 90s and 00s in the Church, and got the full whammy of Purity Culture, which she spent years deconstructing. She is passionate about exploring the intersections of faith, sexuality, and shame. She is also a fanatic tea connoisseur, devourer of books, lover of dancing, and slave to cats.    In this episode, you will hear:     Lucy’s experience growing up from a religious background  Looking at Evangelical Christianity   Understanding the myth’s around purity culture  The impact sex had on popular culture in the 90’s / 00’s   How Lucy decided Evangelical Christianity wasn’t the right path for her  Combining sexuality and spirituality   Learning to challenge negative sex messages  How to positively question people in positions of authority   Going through the process of faith de-construction  Learning to understand and use Tantra to connect with your sexual self  Dispelling the myth that having sexual feelings is sinful     Find Lucy Rowett online  https://lucyrowett.com     Download your free guide to mastering sexual communication here https://bit.ly/MoreofWhatYouWant     Find Dr. Moali online    http://www.sexologypodcast.com    Find me on social media  https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast  https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care      Ebook: How to Increase Your Libido – For Women  https://oasis2care.com/how-to-increase-your-libido/     If you are interested in booking a video counselling session with Dr. Moali  https://oasis2care.com/contact-nazanin-moali-psychologist      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

8 Dec 202038min

Welcome to episode 206 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I'm delighted to welcome Dr. Kathryn Klement to the podcast. In this episode Dr. Klement speaks with me about sexual narcissism, its effects on relationships, early signs and red flags and exploring sexual boundaries with your partner.     Dr. Kathryn Klement (they/them) is an Assistant Professor of Psychology of Women & Gender at Bemidji State University.  Their primary teaching interests are human sexuality, gender, and research methods.  Their major research interests include sexual violence, how transphobia relates to other systems of oppression, and transgender patients’ experiences in healthcare.  They have also published work related to consensual BDSM (bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism), sexual consent, and sexual entitlement.      In this episode, you will hear:     What is sexual narcissism?  Identifying sexual narcissism in relationships  The effect patriarchy has on this issue  Looking at the research Dr. Klement conducted   Early signs and red flags for sexual narcissism  Exploring your boundaries for sex and sexuality   Understanding your partners boundaries and creating a sexual pact   Understanding that can’t use sex to change a person into how you want them to be    Find Dr. Kathryn Klement online  https://twitter.com/krklement     Find Dr. Moali online:    http://www.sexologypodcast.com    Find me on social media:    https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast  https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care      Ebook: How to Increase Your Libido – For Women  https://oasis2care.com/how-to-increase-your-libido/     If you are interested in booking a video counselling session with Dr. Moali:  https://oasis2care.com/contact-nazanin-moali-psychologist      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

1 Dec 202030min

Welcome to episode 205 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I'm delighted to welcome Tripp Kramer to the podcast. In this episode Tripp speaks with me about how men can learn to better talk to women, the traps men fall into when trying to initiate sex too quickly, and understanding the role and importance of emotional safety.     Tripp Kramer is an internationally known dating coach and founder of Tripp Advice, a men's dating advice company. He is also the creator of the popular YouTube channel "Tripp Advice", which teaches men how to become more attractive to women and host of his own weekly podcast entitled "How To Talk To Girls". Tripp currently resides in Chicago Illinois.    In this episode, you will hear:     The common mistakes men make when talking to women   Looking at the negative experience's men have when trying to talk to women   The importance of being authentic and true to yourself  Looking at the issue of rejection and how to deal with it  Why you need to listen as much as you talk   The traps men fall into when trying to initiate sex too quickly   Why women will often respond negatively to rushing into sex  Understanding emotional safety         Find Tripp Kramer online  http://coachedbytripp.com     Find Promescent Online  https://www.promescent.com   Discount Code – sexology15     Find Dr. Moali online:    http://www.sexologypodcast.com    Find me on social media:    https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast  https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care      Farsi Podcast  https://sexologypodcast.libsyn.com/rss      If you are interested in booking a video counselling session with Dr. Moali:  https://oasis2care.com/contact-nazanin-moali-psychologist      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

24 Nov 202039min