The Truth About Boundaries: Why They're Hard and How to Hold Them

She explores the difference between embodied boundaries and self-protective boundaries, which form as a result of unmet needs and misattunement in childhood. You’ll learn how to reconnect with your adult self, identify the protective parts that might be informing the way you set limits, and communicate your needs without reverting to old patterns.

Through practical guidance and compassionate teaching, Sarah offers a path back to boundaries that reflect who we are now, not who we once had to be. Tune in to hear how a somatic approach can support healing, authenticity, and deeper connection!

Episode Highlights:

• [00:00] Introduction
• [01:10] Why family dynamics pull us back into younger roles
• [04:48] How early nervous system development shapes regulation
• [06:50] The importance of honoring a child’s boundaries
• [11:16] Ways that childhood boundary violations impact adult patterns
• [15:50] The 3 boundary styles: diffuse, rigid, and embodied
• [21:45] Learning to anchor in the adult self around family of origin
• [26:23] Preparing for resistance when shifting long-term dynamics
• [28:50] Working with protective parts who fear boundary setting
• [32:34] What to expect from internal and external resistance
• [37:06] Leading with the adult self when communicating boundaries
• [39:34] Applying embodied boundaries in family and holiday settings
• [42:27] Question 1: Staying regulated when younger parts panic
• [45:54] Question 2: Naming needs in relationships when anxious attachment shows up
• [51:24] Question 3: Navigating boundaries with unsafe or traumatic family systems

Join the Waitlist for Navigating Your Nervous System:

Living a full, expansive life starts with nervous system regulation. If you’re looking for practical tools and support on your healing journey, you can now get on the waitlist for my upcoming 6-week LIVE program.

Everyone on the waitlist receives access to limited-time pricing:

https://bit.ly/sp-nyns-waitlist

Download Sarah’s FREE Workbook:

Not sure where to get started with somatic healing? Sarah created a FREE trauma-informed workbook called "How To Gain Control Over How You Feel" to help you step toward a life filled with more freedom, ease, and empowerment.

Click the link below to download the workbook:

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-workbook

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram — instagram.com/sarahbcoaching

Website — sarahbaldwincoaching.com

Submit a Question:

sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Quotes:

“[Setting boundaries] is what allows us to navigate life as our authentic self. And this is also what allows us to navigate life in a way that gets our needs met in a multitude of ways. So it is really vital that we are able to come into this experience.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:10:40]

“Even with loving parents, most of them did not know how to parent, and that meant that they didn't realize the imperative nature of honoring and validating your embodied boundary.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:11:27]

“Whatever we need to do that makes it tolerable to set the boundary, that's what we want to focus on.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:32:29]

“The more that you're doing parts work on a regular basis, the more these parts are going to trust you as you begin setting these boundaries. [It’s] really important that we're engaging in that regularly.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:36:55]

“[When you’re] re-parenting [your parts], what actually happens is you become the parent they never had. You become their home internally. And now the parts are no longer looking for your caregivers to be their mom and dad.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:54:24]

“Accessing our ability to set healthy boundaries is good. It is a gift for everyone. It's an invitation to them into their own healing, and it's not our business whether they take the invitation or not. So how do we do this? As always, one tolerable step at a time.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:58:39]