Who Gets to Know All of You?

This conversation unpacks why relationships feel so exposing, why discomfort isn’t a sign that something is wrong, and how true healing happens first within you. You’ll learn why feeling ‘unknown’ is often a protective strategy, how parts of you get siloed to survive connection, and how the gentle integration of your protective parts creates secure, intimate relationships. Sarah touches on powerful therapeutic tools that will help you to show up as your most authentic self.

Episode Highlights:

• [00:00] Introduction
• [02:28] How nature embodies its wholeness
• [06:06] The feeling of being unknown in relationships
• [11:32] Why the nervous system silos us
• [13:05] How our caregivers pass on their unresolved trauma
• [18:20] The nervous system’s reaction to being contorted by caregivers
• [21:06] How siloing yourself disconnects you from who you are
• [23:36] Why romantic relationships are the hardest place to be ‘all of you’
• [26:03] What getting into a safe relationship after trauma looks like
• [30:11] Leaning into the discomfort of growth
• [33:23] How to integrate your siloed parts in your romantic relationship
• [37:19] Healing within relationships and the power of interdependence
• [42:56] Why the healing process is the greatest love story
• [44:16] Question 1 – Why do I feel safer being myself with friends than with my partner?
• [50:00] Question 2 – Why do I struggle with rejection in romantic relationships?
• [55:13] Question 3 – How can I handle difficult and traumatic experiences somatically?

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Quotes:

“The really cool thing about the nervous system – [is] that it functions without you having to do much or think about much.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:10:51]

“If I silo myself, what happens is [that] no one gets to know all of me. And that means that if they hurt me or if they abandon me or they choose not to be my partner, it will never feel the same as the excruciating pain of being a baby who’s not chosen.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:19:03]

“In many ways, healing is coming back to this beautiful, embodied experience of what it is like to have that child-like wonder and innocence.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:23:16]

“Romantic relationships are the hardest place to be all of you.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:23:53]

“If you are with a safe person [who] loves you, they want to see you, they want to see more of you. Because that’s what safe, loving people do.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:35:38]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Join the Waitlist for You Make Sense [YouTube]

Join the Waitlist for You Make Sense [Spotify]

Join the Waitlist for Nervous System Essentials [YouTube]

Join the Waitlist for Nervous System Essentials [Spotify]