Grapefruit Is Alien Birth Control with Ele Woods
Great fruit? More like GRAVE fruit!! It's the return of our friend Ele Woods, and she's got a few things about America's favorite breakfast fruit. Namely, that it's incredibly weird and inexplicable properties can only be explained by it being a special delivery from the aliens who seeded life on earth as we know it. For instance, did you know that grapefruit makes your medicine either not work or work way too well? That it's origins can't be explained? That lots of celebrities have made weird cryptic references to it?? Maybe these things are all just coincidences. Or maybe they're a result of a plot millions of years old to make us sterile. Either way, pretty crazy!
28 Jan 20221h 15min
Repost! The Cuban Embassy Plot with Mel Cowan
It's a blast from the past this week, because the Havana Syndrome is back in the news! This ep from 2019 was either eerily prescient or total goofballery. You decide, dear listener! In 2016, a group of American diplomats at the US embassy in Cuba got sick. Weird sick. Many reported dizziness, memory loss, headaches, hearing problems, and more. But what happened to these intrepid civil servants? And could their sickness be tied to something nefarious? Mel Cowan thinks so, and Mel Cowan is very very smart. Mel has a theory that is so devious, so terrifying, so confusing, that it will change how you think about microwaves forever. Prepare to learn about political intrigue, audio engineering, the navy, Tanganyika, bugs, and puppies. Oh my god this puppy.
22 Jan 20221h 8min
The Blair Witch Documentary with Nina Concepcion
It's the movie that changed horror forever, and made it ok to see inside someone's nostrils on the big screen. The Blair Witch Project was one of the biggest movies of the 90's - but what if it wasn't a movie at all? What if it was actually a genuine documentary and the filmmakers covered up the actual horror with clever marketing? WHAT IF?? Nina Concepcion is back in the Lizard Lair with a new addition to the Ninaverse - a theory that the Blair Witch Project was real as hell. Along the way we also cover some Elvis facts, discuss the nature of witches, kvetch about Hollywood, and Katelyn says the filthiest thing she's ever said in her life and Alexis is disappointed by it.
14 Jan 20221h 4min
Teddy Roosevelt's National Park Plot with Patrick McDonald
Yosemite! Bryce Canyon! Petrified Forest! The national parks are often called America's best idea - acres of untouched land in which visitors can experience true wild nature. Except that that's all TOTAL BS. Returning fave Patrick McDonald thinks there's a nefarious secret behind the creation of the national parks, one that was kept for decadey by famous outdoors guy Theodore Roosevelt. Patrick suspects that actually, TR created the parks to protect ordinary Americans from the thread of... the wendigo! Listen in for lots of spooky wendigo chat, discussions of hot and nasty eagly intercourse, lots of talk about everyone's mutual friend Mike, and the truth about badgers.
7 Jan 20221h 8min
Santa Is Grown-Up Jesus with Alexis and Katelyn
Your pals Alexis and Katelyn are just pal-ing around again this ep. And what better time to be with family than at Christmas! In this mini-ish episode, we get into the real story about Santa Claus, aka Saint Nick, aka Kris Kringle, aka Coca-Cola's most shameless shill. Alexis suspects that Ol Father Christmas is actually... old Jesus! There's a lot of evidence to consider, and along the way you'll hear the lots of other Santa nicknames, some incredibly blasphemous takes on the Bible, both of our feelings about The Witcher, and perhaps most important of all, the magical story of how Santa chose to use reindeer for his magical sleigh mobile. Ho ho ho, happy holidays little lizards!
22 Dec 202146min
Taylor Swift Lied About All Too Well with Christiana Morgenroth
Ok we had to bring Christiana back because our resident pop music expert (and genius podcast producer) has a take so fiery hot it will bring hundreds of 30-something women to their knees. Christiana thinks that one Taylor Swift, brilliant songwriter and master of the art of the celebrity breakup, lied to us. More specifically, that she lied to us about writing her seminal 10-minute long magnum opus All Too Well back in 2011. SHOCKING. Listen this is a niche one, but listen in for some Swiftiness, pop analysis, incredible scatting, rage at John Mayer, and Alexis being bored out of her gourd. It's a fun one!
17 Dec 20211h 21min
Angels are Interdimensional Beings with Dave Child
Hark! Be not afraid, because we have a festive holiday ep coming your way! Our beloved Dave Child is back in the Lizard Lair, and he's got some pretty crazy ideas about cherubim, seraphim, and all the rest. Dave suspects that the feathery friends that announced Jesus' birth, and will be blowing the ol' trumpet at the end of days, are in fact interdimensional beings that travel between realms warning us about danger and giving us a heads up about pregnancies. Are they divine? Are they demonic? And might they just possibly be familiar to listeners of previous episodes as some kind of man-animal hybrid? Also, are they trying to sleep with us? All will be revealed in this extra-festive episode.
10 Dec 20211h 10min
Lyme Disease Is An Escaped Bioweapon with Dana Bell
Chronic Lyme! It's less refreshing than it sounds. This week comedy writer Dana Bell stopped by with the inside story of the tick-borne illness that everyone's talking about. Where did it come from? Why did everyone suddenly start getting it in the 80's? And could it have anything to do with a secret Pentagon lab right next to the town where it was discovered? All these questions and more get sort of answered in this extra spicy ep. With bonus info on antibiotics and how they effect the bowels (spoiler: it's not great), drinks from the late 90's, the truth about Nixon, and a couple of mice that honestly deserve an Oscar.
3 Dec 20211h 14min
