The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’
The Daily30 Apr 2023

The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’

In January 2022, Randi Schofield was a 34-year-old single mother who, not long before, left her full-time job of eight years as a personal bailiff to a local judge. She pulled $30,000 from her retirement savings and was planning to give herself all of 2022 to expand the small catering business she had always dreamed about. This would be the year she bet on herself. Then, that month, she received the news that medics were pulling her father out of his car.

The collision splintered the bone in his left thigh down to his knee; three days later, a metal rod held the broken pieces together. Until his leg recovered from the surgery, he would not be able to walk without assistance. In hindsight, there were warning signs that her father’s health could upend Schofield’s life. But he was also youthful and spirited, and it was easy to believe that everything was fine, that he was fine and that if she were to take care of him some day, it would be occasional and in a distant future. She didn’t see this day coming the way it did, so abruptly and so soon.

Increasing numbers of adult children are taking care of their parents, often shouldering the burden with no pay and little outside help — making their meals, helping them shower, bandaging their wounds and holding them up before they can fall. The social-work scholar Dorothy A. Miller once described this as the “peculiar position” in the modern American nuclear family, between the care people give to their aging parents and to their children. Today’s “sandwich generation” is younger than the version Miller described four decades ago, but it faces the same “unique set of unshared stresses” that she warned of then: acute financial strain, a lack of reciprocated support and “fatigue from fulfilling the demands of too many roles.”

This story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publications like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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Thursday, June 15, 2017

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Moments before he opened fire, the gunman asked who was on the baseball field: Democrats or Republicans. And what happens when a 400-year-old play about one of history’s most infamous acts of political violence is adapted for today? We discuss political violence at a time of extreme partisanship. Guests: Michael Shear, who covered Wednesday’s shooting in Alexandria, Va.; Michael Cooper, an arts reporter. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. For two weeks, we’re offering listeners a free trial of a New York Times digital subscription. Visit nytimes.com/dailytrial to sign up. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

15 Juni 201723min

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Attorney General Jeff Sessions took his turn appearing before the Senate Intelligence Committee investigating Russian interference in the 2016 election. We discuss his testimony. Plus: a dispatch from the courthouse in Norristown, Pa., where after more than 16 hours of deliberation over two days, the jurors in the Bill Cosby sexual assault case have still not been able to reach a verdict. Guests: Matt Apuzzo, who has been covering the investigation into possible ties between the Trump campaign and Russia; Graham Bowley, who is covering Mr. Cosby’s trial. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. For two weeks, we’re offering listeners a free trial of a New York Times digital subscription. Visit nytimes.com/dailytrial to sign up. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

14 Juni 201722min

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Her disclosure of classified documents in 2010 ushered in the age of leaks. Now Chelsea Manning has been freed from prison and talks about why she did it — and everything that followed. Guest: Matt Shaer, a contributing writer for the magazine, who narrates the tapes from his conversation with Ms. Manning, her first in-person, on-the-record interview in almost a decade. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. For two weeks, we’re offering listeners a free trial of a New York Times digital subscription. Visit nytimes.com/dailytrial to sign up. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

13 Juni 201725min

Monday, June 12, 2017

Monday, June 12, 2017

James Comey says he took it as a command. President Trump says he never even said it. We discuss the one word that an obstruction of justice case could turn on: “hope.” Guests: Adam Liptak, who covers the Supreme Court; David E. Sanger, who has been reporting on U.S. cyberattacks. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. For two weeks, we’re offering listeners a free trial of a New York Times digital subscription. Visit nytimes.com/dailytrial to sign up. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

12 Juni 201721min

Friday, June 9, 2017

Friday, June 9, 2017

James Comey’s testimony on Thursday reveals that the leak of a James Comey memo was orchestrated by ... James Comey. We discuss why the former F.B.I. director leaked the memo, and the sequence of events he intentionally set in motion to get it to The Times. Guests: Matt Apuzzo and Michael Schmidt, who cover national security for The Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. For two weeks, we’re offering listeners a free trial of a New York Times digital subscription. Visit nytimes.com/dailytrial to sign up. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

9 Juni 201723min

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Thursday, June 8, 2017

James Comey goes before the Senate Intelligence Committee today. We talk through his prepared remarks, and look at what President Trump might have meant when he said “we had that thing you know.” And why would Islamic State militants be targeting Iran? Guests: Michael S. Schmidt, who has broken several stories about encounters between President Trump and Mr. Comey; Thomas Erdbrink, The Times’s Tehran bureau chief. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. For the next two weeks, we’re offering listeners a free trial of a New York Times digital subscription. Visit nytimes.com/dailytrial to sign up. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

8 Juni 201720min

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Afghanistan was barely mentioned in last year’s election. But while U.S. attention has turned from the Taliban to the Islamic State, the Taliban are back, stronger than ever, and the government is on the brink of collapse. Guests: Mujib Mashal, our senior correspondent in Afghanistan; Helene Cooper, who covers the Pentagon. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. For the next two weeks, we’re offering listeners a free trial of a New York Times digital subscription. Visit nytimes.com/dailytrial to sign up. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

7 Juni 201719min

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

We go back to 2008, when the Republican candidate for president campaigned on a plan to fight global warming. How, in just nine years, did the G.O.P. go from combating climate change to arguing it doesn’t exist? And several mayors and governors have come forward in recent days to say that their cities and states would meet the Paris commitment, with or without Washington. We talk with one of them. Guests: Carol Davenport, who covers the environment; Jerry Brown, the governor of California. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. For the next two weeks, we’re offering listeners a free trial of a New York Times digital subscription. Visit nytimes.com/dailytrial to sign up. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

6 Juni 201719min

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