The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’
The Daily30 Apr 2023

The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’

In January 2022, Randi Schofield was a 34-year-old single mother who, not long before, left her full-time job of eight years as a personal bailiff to a local judge. She pulled $30,000 from her retirement savings and was planning to give herself all of 2022 to expand the small catering business she had always dreamed about. This would be the year she bet on herself. Then, that month, she received the news that medics were pulling her father out of his car.

The collision splintered the bone in his left thigh down to his knee; three days later, a metal rod held the broken pieces together. Until his leg recovered from the surgery, he would not be able to walk without assistance. In hindsight, there were warning signs that her father’s health could upend Schofield’s life. But he was also youthful and spirited, and it was easy to believe that everything was fine, that he was fine and that if she were to take care of him some day, it would be occasional and in a distant future. She didn’t see this day coming the way it did, so abruptly and so soon.

Increasing numbers of adult children are taking care of their parents, often shouldering the burden with no pay and little outside help — making their meals, helping them shower, bandaging their wounds and holding them up before they can fall. The social-work scholar Dorothy A. Miller once described this as the “peculiar position” in the modern American nuclear family, between the care people give to their aging parents and to their children. Today’s “sandwich generation” is younger than the version Miller described four decades ago, but it faces the same “unique set of unshared stresses” that she warned of then: acute financial strain, a lack of reciprocated support and “fatigue from fulfilling the demands of too many roles.”

This story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publications like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

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Monday, June 5, 2017

Monday, June 5, 2017

What we know and don’t know about the attack in London on Saturday; a discussion of the political context; and what role the Islamic State might have played. Plus: a brief history of back channels. Guests: Rukmini Callimachi, who covers the Islamic State for The Times; Katrin Bennhold, a reporter based in London; David E. Sanger, chief Washington correspondent. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. And as mentioned on today’s show, we’re offering listeners a free trial of a New York Times digital subscription. Visit nytimes.com/dailytrial to sign up. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

5 Juni 201721min

Friday, June 2, 2017

Friday, June 2, 2017

The president says he’s putting Pittsburgh ahead of Paris, and announced the withdrawal of the United States from the global climate agreement. We discuss the months leading up to that remarkable decision — and what happens next. Guests: Michael D. Shear, a White House reporter; Brad Plumer, who covers the climate. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2rMsWBj. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

2 Juni 201723min

Thursday, June 1, 2017

Thursday, June 1, 2017

President Trump is to announce today whether he’ll withdraw the United States from the Paris climate agreement. What would it mean for the biggest carbon polluter in history to abandon the most ambitious effort to fight climate change? Guests: Justin Gillis, who covers the science and policy implications of climate change; Max Fisher and Amanda Taub, who write the Interpreter column. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2qIOb7K. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

1 Juni 201721min

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

How noncompete clauses — once limited to senior executives — are gaining power over American workers. Plus: The president returns to Washington with family business to attend to. Guests: Conor Dougherty, who covers economics for The Times; Peter Baker, chief White House correspondent. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2sp8Wlf. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

31 Maj 201716min

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

A profile of five of the people responsible for figuring out Russia’s role in the 2016 election: the new special counsel, and four Senate Republicans who say they will follow evidence wherever it leads. Guests: Matt Apuzzo, who reports on law enforcement and security matters; Carl Hulse, who covers Congress. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2qzVjPC. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

30 Maj 201723min

Friday, May 26, 2017

Friday, May 26, 2017

How John Shields planned his perfect death, and what Canada has learned by allowing 1,300 terminally ill people to do the same. Guest: Catherine Porter, who has been following one man seeking control of his death. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2rzIGIg. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

26 Maj 201722min

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Thursday, May 25, 2017

How the unsolved murder of Seth Rich has become a case study of how and why fake news endures. And a look at the two members of the Trump campaign who Russia identified as its best chance of influencing Donald Trump. Guests: Michael Grynbaum, a media correspondent for The New York Times; Matthew Rosenberg, who covers intelligence and national security. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2riBDTE. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

25 Maj 201720min

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

The Islamic State has now claimed credit for the attack in Manchester, England. What happens in the hours between an act of terror and the claiming of responsibility? Plus: highlights from the latest testimony of a U.S. official about ties between Russia and the Trump campaign. Guests: Rukmini Callimachi, who covers the Islamic State; Matt Apuzzo, who covers the C.I.A. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2rD5ve0. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

24 Maj 201721min

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