The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’
The Daily30 Apr 2023

The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’

In January 2022, Randi Schofield was a 34-year-old single mother who, not long before, left her full-time job of eight years as a personal bailiff to a local judge. She pulled $30,000 from her retirement savings and was planning to give herself all of 2022 to expand the small catering business she had always dreamed about. This would be the year she bet on herself. Then, that month, she received the news that medics were pulling her father out of his car.

The collision splintered the bone in his left thigh down to his knee; three days later, a metal rod held the broken pieces together. Until his leg recovered from the surgery, he would not be able to walk without assistance. In hindsight, there were warning signs that her father’s health could upend Schofield’s life. But he was also youthful and spirited, and it was easy to believe that everything was fine, that he was fine and that if she were to take care of him some day, it would be occasional and in a distant future. She didn’t see this day coming the way it did, so abruptly and so soon.

Increasing numbers of adult children are taking care of their parents, often shouldering the burden with no pay and little outside help — making their meals, helping them shower, bandaging their wounds and holding them up before they can fall. The social-work scholar Dorothy A. Miller once described this as the “peculiar position” in the modern American nuclear family, between the care people give to their aging parents and to their children. Today’s “sandwich generation” is younger than the version Miller described four decades ago, but it faces the same “unique set of unshared stresses” that she warned of then: acute financial strain, a lack of reciprocated support and “fatigue from fulfilling the demands of too many roles.”

This story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publications like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

President Trump arrived in Israel with a message from the Muslim world: If Israel wants peace with its Arab neighbors, it’ll have to compromise with the Palestinians. And Michael Flynn has been out of the White House for three months. But his saga continues. Guests: Peter Baker, who is traveling with the president; Matthew Rosenberg, who has been reporting on Mr. Flynn. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2qOCsTu. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

23 Maj 201722min

Monday, May 22, 2017

Monday, May 22, 2017

We turn our focus away from Washington intrigue and go to Saudi Arabia, where President Trump was welcomed this weekend, and to China, whose government intentionally crippled American spying operations by killing C.I.A. informants, a Times investigation shows. Guests: Peter Baker, who is in Saudi Arabia with the president; Mark Mazzetti, who has been investigating the mysterious deaths in China. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2qfbgtv. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

22 Maj 201723min

Special Edition: ‘Nut Job’

Special Edition: ‘Nut Job’

The day after President Trump fired James Comey, the president told top Russian officials that in dismissing the F.B.I. director, whom he called a “nut job,” the pressure was “taken off.” Guests: Maggie Haberman and Matt Apuzzo, who broke the story. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2q2jcD5. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

19 Maj 201712min

Friday, May 19, 2017

Friday, May 19, 2017

The latest revelations from the Comey memos and from James Comey’s confidant, who talked on the record — and on tape — to The New York Times. Guest: Michael S. Schmidt, who has broken several stories in the last two weeks about encounters between President Trump and Mr. Comey. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2qLMCVk. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

19 Maj 201717min

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Who are Robert Mueller and Rod Rosenstein? A closer look at two of the players at the center of the investigation into ties between President Trump’s campaign and Russian officials. Guests: Matt Apuzzo, who covers the F.B.I. for The Times; Glenn Thrush, who covers the White House; Megan Brown, a lawyer in Maryland who first met Mr. Rosenstein back in 2000 when he hired her for her first law internship. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2ry4DUZ. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

18 Maj 201721min

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

James Comey’s secret memos: We discuss the latest revelations about President Trump, Mr. Comey, Russia and Israel. Guests: Michael S. Schmidt, who broke the story about the former F.B.I. director’s memo detailing a conversation with President Trump; Adam Liptak, who explains obstruction of justice; Adam Goldman, who discusses Israel’s role. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2rujm3q. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

17 Maj 201719min

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

What we’ve learned about President Trump’s Oval Office meeting with top Russian officials the day after he fired James Comey, the F.B.I. director investigating his campaign’s ties to Russia. Plus: how efforts by the U.S. government to protect against a cyberattack may have enabled one. Guests: Matthew Rosenberg, who covers intelligence and national security; David E. Sanger, the chief Washington correspondent for The Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2pVBUrl. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

16 Maj 201723min

Monday, May 15, 2017

Monday, May 15, 2017

James Comey’s firing has raised questions of a White House cover-up and drawn comparisons to Nixon’s midnight massacre. But is there a version of this story that suggests it amounts to little? Plus: the case for and against politics from the pulpit. Guests: Jeremy W. Peters, who has been covering the reaction to Mr. Comey’s firing in the conservative news media; Laurie Goodstein, the religion correspondent for The Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2pRTvAg. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

15 Maj 201725min

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